


I Guess I Never Minded the Rain

by mismatched_ideas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged Down Characters, Aged up characters, Akaashi is the tsukishima bro's uncle, Angst, Bisexual Bokuto, Bokuto is Hinata's dad, Family Fluff, Fluff, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Biphobia, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, M/M, Original Character(s), Other, POV Alternating, Pining, Single Parent AU, Slow Burn, Trans Akaashi Keiji, accidental dead-naming, past bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-09 19:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 44,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18644389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mismatched_ideas/pseuds/mismatched_ideas
Summary: Bokuto is a single father of one and Akaashi is a grad student with a lot of new responsibilities on his shoulders. A rainy day and a borrowed umbrella are anything but unusual. What they become, though, is something wholly unexpected.---Akaashi Keiji spends most of his days the same way. He wakes up, goes to class, goes to his part-time job, and then goes home to study. But when his older sister tells him her husband is dying, he's ready to shift that routine to help in any way he could. After all, his sister had always been there for him and he would be there for her even if it meant caring for her two young sons.Maybe the thought of those boys is why he gave his boss' umbrella to a stranger trying desperately to keep his baby dry with a notebook.Bokuto Koutarou thought he should win an award for most likely to forget his umbrella. But now, unlike in high school, he couldn't just run hope in the rain, getting soaked with the only repercussion being a stern look from his mom. Now he had a baby who needed to be looked after better than that.That's why an umbrella from a pretty-eyed stranger at the exact moment he needed one was as much a godsend as it was a beautiful surprise.





	1. Floral Umbrellas

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a while and finally finished it. I'll be posting one chapter a day for the next nine days! No need to worry about me ghosting on this fic LOL

He always forgot his umbrella on days it rained. That had been fine when he was 17 and didn’t have anything to worry about. Now, though, he had a 2 year old strapped to his chest and holding a notebook over the baby’s head wasn’t good for him or the notebook. He was more worried about the baby, of course, but he also needed these notes.

Back when he was 17, Bokuto Koutarou was often caught in rainstorms without an umbrella. Normal people would have ducked under an overhang to get out of the rain and simply wait it out. But Bokuto wasn’t exactly what most people would consider normal, then or now. Today, though, with a baby on board, he might have stopped if it weren’t for the fact that he needed to get home soon so he could start his online shift.

Because today had been a day full of bad luck, Bokuto got struck at a crossing, waiting desperately for the light to change.

With one hand, he smoothed back the soaked hair that had fallen into his eyes. He knew he should just cut it short and professionally, but as long as he was able, Bokuto planned to keep his spiked hairstyle.

“Excuse me.”

Bokuto turned to look at the source of the voice. He found that it belonged to a young man with tousled black hair. More interestingly, though, was that he was holding out his umbrella, letting rain soak his hair and clothes.

When Bokuto just stared dumbly at the man, he held the umbrella out over Bokuto’s head.

“Take it.”

“Umm... huh?”

“The umbrella,” he said. “You need it.”

“Oh!” Bokuto started, realizing what was happening. “But you—”

“Don’t have a baby.” The light changed and the man looked suddenly impatient. “Take it.”

“Okay,” Bokuto relented, realizing the man planned to stand here getting soaked until Bokuto took the umbrella. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said. “Have a nice evening.”

“You too,” Bokuto responded and the man nodded, turning and hurrying down the street while Bokuto watched him go and wondered who the kind stranger had been.

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

“What happened to you?” Oikawa asked when Akaashi returned to the store after a delivery.

“I lost your umbrella, I apologize,” Akaashi said as way of answer.

“That’s two umbrellas today,” Oikawa commented, looking for something to dry Akaashi off with. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t lose my umbrella,” Akaashi pointed out, waiting patiently while Oikawa looked for a towel. “I forgot it at home.”

“Still, you always have an umbrella.”

“I apologize for losing yours,” Akaashi repeated, catching the towel Oikawa threw to him.

“No need to,” Oikawa smiled. “I actually think I stole it from Suga.”

“I’ll have to apologize to him too.”

“No you don’t, but you should tell me what’s wrong.”

Akaashi sighed, knowing Oikawa wasn’t about to drop this. He took a moment while he dried himself off to decide if it was worth trying to talk his way out of this situation but decided he was too tired for that right now.

“My brother-in-law is very ill and there’s a real chance he won’t survive the year. Keiko doesn’t know what they’re going to do.”

“She has two kids, right?” Oikawa asked, worry written plainly on his face.

For as much as he could come off as a bit fake, Akaashi had quickly learned that his friend and boss was an honest and open person, at least with the right people.

“Yeah. Two boys. She doesn’t want to move back in with our parents since there won’t be any job opportunities in our hometown. Mom and Dad can’t take care of two little boys alone, either.”

“And…?” Oikawa asked, Akaashi’s words missing something.

“I told her I’d help however I can.”

“But what does that mean?”

“I don’t know yet,” Akaashi said honestly. “She and the boys might move in with me or maybe I’ll take the boys while she finds a job and a place to live. I might go home to take care of them at my parents’ house and Sis’ would live in my apartment.”

“What about your classes?”

“This is more important,” Akaashi insisted because he would never abandon his family.

“Akaashi,” Oikawa frowned, obviously unsure of what the right thing to say was. “Your sister is lucky to have you.”

“She would do the same for me.”

Akaashi knew that was true since she’d been his strongest ally his entire life. He didn’t feel like he needed to repay her for that or anything, but he did like being able to do something for her in return.

“I know,” Oikawa responded. “She doesn’t have to figure this out alone and neither do you. You know we’re all here to help however we can. Me and Iwa and Suga and Daichi. We’re all here for you.”

“I know,” Akaashi echoed unintentionally. “Thank you.”

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

Bokuto was caught once again at the intersection where he’d been lent the umbrella he always carried in case he saw its owner again. This intersection had a long light so he often found himself waiting for the okay to cross. When he could, Bokuto would dart across the street so he didn’t have to wait but he did that less these days. He had a son and had to be more responsible than that.

A man stepped next to Bokuto, already tapping his foot impatiently. What drew Bokuto’s eyes, though, was the large bouquet held carefully in one arm. It was looking worse for the wear and the man didn’t look great himself. He looked honestly pissed, a stray flower caught in his hair.

“Ah!” Bokuto shouted, spooking the man who he’d just recognized. “Umbrella!”

The man blinked at Bokuto for a few moments before recognition appeared in his eyes.

“Oh, hello again. You’re the man with the baby, right?”  

“Yes,” he responded. “I’m Bokuto Koutarou.”

“Akaashi Keiji,” the man responded, moving the flowers into his other arm to reach out a hand for a handshake. “I hope you didn’t catch a cold.”

“Huh?”

“From the rain.”

“Oh!” Bokuto laughed. “No, I guess I’m just too strong to catch a cold.” Kenma liked to remind Kuroo and Bokuto about the old saying that _idiots_ didn’t catch colds, but he usually ignored Kenma when he was being mean. “What about you?”

“This isn’t far from work.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Bokuto pointed at the flowers. “What happened to them?”

“They got thrown at me,” Akaashi explained, the memory making his face sour.

“Angry girlfriend?” Bokuto asked, wondering what Akaashi could have done to upset his girlfriend.

“Something like that,” Akaashi answered before seeming to realize something. The light changed and they both began to walk, Akaashi speaking as they did. “Not my girlfriend. I work for a florist doing deliveries. Some guy ordered flowers for his girlfriend but when I tried to deliver them, she threw them at my head.”

“What’ll you do with them now?”

“Put them in water. My boss will probably call the boyfriend and ask what he wants to do.”

“I wonder what he did.”

“I have no idea but she was very upset. I don’t think she was happy that he hadn’t gone himself.”

Akaashi stopped and Bokuto did too, uncertain why they’d stopped. After a moment of staring at each other, Akaashi pointed at the store.

“This is where I work.”

“Oh, really?” Bokuto laughed. “I pass here almost every day. We’ve probably seen each other before.”

“We have,” Akaashi said before adding defensively, “I’ve noticed your hair.”

“I guess it is pretty noticeable,” Bokuto said with another laugh. “I don’t know how I never noticed you, you’re—”

Bokuto stopped, realizing he shouldn’t say what he was thinking: that Akaashi seemed too attractive not to notice. Now he had to think of a way to salvage this train of thought even though he’d pretty much painted himself into a very awkward corner.

“You're, umm… your hair is nice,” Bokuto tried to save, looking at Akashi’s hair and remembering the flower that had lodged itself there, presumably after the bouquet was thrown at him. “Oh!”

Bokuto reached out and Akaashi froze, his body seeming to be caught in between fight and flight. Half of him seemed to want to attack Bokuto directly and the other half wanted to dodge away from Bokuto so, instead, his body had gotten stuck doing nothing.

Bokuto plucked the flower from Akaashi’s hair, holding it out to him.

“It was in your hair.”

Akaashi blinked before sighing, a near smile on his lips.

“Oh, I see.” He raised both his eyebrows at Bokuto. “You should probably warn people before you do something like that.”

“Aah,” Bokuto blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry! Sometimes I act before I think.”

Bokuto looked at the flower and then back at Akaashi, holding it out a little farther.

“Uhh, do you want it back?”

Akaashi snorted at that, his eyebrows lifting higher than seemed possible. His lips quirked into a smirk that was somehow soft and sharp at the same time.

“You can keep it.” Even though he was barely smiling—if a smirk could be considered a smile—Bokuto could hear a smile in Akaashi’s tone.

“Oh, well thank you.”

“It was nice meeting you, Bokuto.”

“You too,” Bokuto said as Akaashi went inside.

It wouldn’t be until later, when he was home, that he would realize he never returned Akaashi’s umbrella.

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

“She didn’t want them,” Akaashi announced when he stepped inside. Sugawara had joined Oikawa behind the counter, both of them smirking suggestively at Akaashi. “What?”

“Who was that giant man caressing your hair?” Oikawa asked, Akaashi rolling his eyes.

“He wasn’t ‘caressing my hair.’ I had a flower in my hair and he was talking it out.”

“Still romantic,” Suga added.

“You both read too many romance novels.” Akaashi walked to the counter setting down the bouquet almost as if he was showing them proof. “Our customer’s girlfriend didn’t want these.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Oikawa said with a frown. “They’re really pretty.”

“Well, she threw them at my head.”

“I’ll call him,” Oikawa said with a sigh. “Can you put them in some water?”

“Sure,” Akaashi moved to the back room, Suga following him as Akaashi looked or a simple vase. “What?”

“Tell me about that guy.”

“He bought flowers for his—”

“No, the guy outside.”

They both knew Akaashi had understood Suga’s request, but that hadn’t stopped Akaashi from trying to throw Suga off this line of questioning. He really wasn’t in the mood to be interrogated about the bright-eyed stranger who was Bokuto Koutarou.

“I met him the other day. It was raining and I gave him your umbrella.”

“Aww!” Suga smiled. “I’m not even mad you gave away my umbrella.”

“I thought it was Oikawa’s,” Akaashi defended. “And he had a baby.”

“He has a kid?” Suga raised his eyebrows. “Akaashi, I didn’t peg you for a home-wrecker.”

“I swear to god, Sugawara,” Akaashi glared at his friend. “I’ve talked to him twice.”

“Boo, you’re no fun.”

“I apologize.” Akaashi found the vase he was looking for and filled it with water. “There just isn't anything going on.”

Akaashi’s phone began to ring and he set aside the flowers, checking who it was. When he saw it was his sister, he put a hand up in Suga’s direction.

“Hello,” Akaashi felt ice in his veins. “Is anything wrong?”

“No, we’re okay.” His sister’s voice was strained but no more than was normal recently. “But we’ve made some decisions and need to ask you for a big favor. Can we video chat?”

“Yes, of course, just give me a few minutes, I’m at work.”

“Oh, sorry, we can wait until you’re done.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’m almost done.”

“Okay, text me when you’re ready.”

“I will. Talk to you soon.”

Akaashi hung up and Suga spoke immediately.

“What’s up?”

“Not sure yet.” Akaashi headed back out to the front, Suga following concernedly behind him. “Oikawa, I apologize, but I need to leave. My sister called.”

Oikawa paused for a beat, Akaashi’s spike in anxiety and impatience surely obvious and, because at the end of the day Oikawa was a great friend, concerning.

“Please go, it’s fine.” Concern was displayed plainly on Oikawa’s face as he looked at Akaashi. Akaashi was doing best to be solid and sturdy but he felt so young and small and he was sure he looked it too. “If you need anything—”

“I know,” Akaashi interrupted before apologizing quickly. “I shouldn't have interrupted.”

“Akaashi, it’s fine.”

“It was rude.”

“Akaashi.” Suga’s hand fell softly onto Akaashi’s shoulder, warm and centering. “It’s okay. Get home and keep us updated.”

“Thank you,” Akaash sighed. “I’ll see you both later.”

≒☼≓

Tsukishima Keiko—formerly Akaashi Keiko—and Akaashi Keiji looked a lot alike. Even when Keiji was eight and Keiko was sixteen they looked more alike than siblings with such a large age gap were expected to look. Now, her normally tousled hair was messy. Her normally tired eyes were ringed with dark bags. Her normally still body was showing outward signs of anxiety that were usually reserved to one, small nervous tic.

Next to her was her 32-year-old husband Yamato and he looked bad but he looked about how someone who was sick and getting sicker would be expected to look. He was pale and he looked so, so tired.

Akaashi didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what there was to say. Luckily, Keiko understood that easily and spoke first.

“I guess we have good new.” She smiled, weak and small but real. “And a favor to ask you.”

“I’m glad you have good news.”

“Little Brother…” Keiko looked suddenly sad. “I’m sorry to be asking so much of you.”

“You would do the same for me.”

“I’m your big sister, it’s what I do. You shouldn’t have to be doing this for me.”

“Let’s not argue,” Akaashi said, Yamato smiling slightly. He didn’t say anything, but Akaashi was sure he was thinking about how strange his and Keiko’s interactions always seemed to other people. Yamato was surely used to it, but that didn’t mean he had to understand what he’d referred to as the quiet love between the siblings. “What’s the good news?”

“We found a treatment. A possible lifesaver.”

“That’s great.” A small smile brightened Akaashi’s face.

“It’s almost like a miracle,” Keiko said softly.

“I’m glad.”

“Us too,” Yamato responded.

“Our favor,” Keiko said after a few moments of quiet, “is a big one.”

“Just ask.”

“The treatment is only available abroad. Yamato can’t go alone but we don’t want to uproot the boys.” Keiko sighed. “If we could ask Mom and Dad, we would, but with mom’s fall…”

“Don’t worry, I understand.” Akaashi took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I’ll be any good, but I am happy to take care of them.”

“Of course we’ll send money to help.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Keiji,” Yamato said sternly and with all the resilience one would expect from the eldest of a family like Keiko but maybe not from an only child like Yamato. “You’re a student with a part-time job.”

“And an apartment where I don’t pay rent,” Akaashi pointed out.

Akaashi was by no means personally wealthy—he paid his own tuition with scholarships, part-time work, and loans—but the Akaashi family was more than a little well-to-do. He was embarrassed to admit it, but until college, Akaashi never realized how much money his family had.

Most of the money was in real estate—hence the large, new, and very free apartment—but that hardly changed the facts. His parents had already expressed their desire to help financially when it came to the boys and had even offered to pay for a live-in nanny if they were the only people who could take in the boys.

“You still don’t have the money for two children.”

“If you really insist,” Akaashi conceded, knowing a losing battle when he saw one. “When will you need to leave?”

“It’ll be in about a month but, if you’re okay with it, we’d like to try and settle the boys before we leave.”

“That makes sense. If you’d like, you can take my apartment until you leave. I can stay with friends until then.”

“We don’t want to uproot you.”

“It’ll only be for a month.”

“We can never thank you enough,” Yamato insisted but Akaashi shook his head.

“If you can get better, that’ll be thanks enough.”

“Well, It’ll try,” Yamato said with a wide smile.

“Keiji, you’re a great person,” Keiko told him simply, the sincerity of it obvious to Akaashi even if it was hard to believe.

Even though he could tell she meant it, his mind still flashed unhelpfully to a memory of the things he’d heard said behind his back in high school. But he quickly shooed that unhelpful memory away. It wasn’t the time for those thoughts.

Finally, he smiled softly at his sister and brother-in-law.

“I’m just glad to help.”

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢


	2. A Lack of Simplicity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bokuto meets a lot of new people.

After laughing for about ten minutes at Bokuto for forgetting to return the umbrella, Kuroo reminded him that he could just stop by the store and drop it off. Even if Akaashi wasn’t there, Bokuto could just leave the umbrella with his boss. It wasn’t like it was even a hard trip since he had said it himself: he passed it almost every day. 

“Welcome!” the cashier called as Bokuto pushed open the flower shop door. “Oh, you’re Akaashi’s friend.”

“Huh?” Bokuto blinked at the man, not expecting that. “I am?”

The man behind the counter laughed, the sound light and airy. He had brown hair and a pretty face but his smile was just a little untrustworthy in the same way that Kuroo’s smiles could often be untrustworthy. Bokuto guessed to his friends, the brunette was loyal and protective but to strangers or people he wanted something from, he was underhanded and sly. At least, that’s what Kuroo was like so Bokuto was basing these guesses on that knowledge. 

“Sorry, I just meant you were talking to him outside the other day.” His smile changed and Bokuto was sure it could be called sly now. “And he lent you his umbrella.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Bokuto said, heading over to the counter as he pulled his backpack off, trying his best not to jostle the sleeping baby on his chest. “Is he in? I’m here to return the umbrella.”

“Sorry, he’s not here today,” the man—looking at his name tag, Bokuto saw his name was Oikawa Tooru—said with a frown. Quickly the frown turned to a smile, though, as he added, “You should probably come back another day.”

“I can just leave it.” Bokuto didn’t want to further bother Akaashi. 

Maybe the smile would be better described as suggestive and Bokuto wasn’t sure what to do with that information. He was pretty sure Oikawa wasn’t flirting with him or anything. 

“No, no, I know he’d love to see you again.” 

Bokuto perked up a little, “Really?”

“Sure,” Oikawa smiled, reaching a hand out to him. “I’m Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi’s boss and friend.” 

“Bokuto Koutarou,” Bokuto reached out to return the handshake. “Umm… person who ran into Akaashi on the street.” 

Oikawa laughed again, “You’re fun, Taro. You should definitely come around more often.” 

“Oh, well, if you think so.”

“I do.” Oikawa’s eyes moved down to where Shouyou was strapped to Bokuto’s chest. “This is your baby, right? Akaashi said you had one the first time you met.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s my son, Shouyou,” Bokuto said proudly. “He’s two years old.”

“Doesn’t get his hair from you, I gather.”

“Ah, no, not so much.” Bokuto looked away, suddenly uncertain. He wasn’t particularly uncomfortable talking about Shouyou’s mother, but other people tended to react awkwardly when he talked about her. “His mother…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up anything painful.”

“No, it’s okay.” Bokuto turned back, smiling at Oikawa. “It’s just me and him now so I hope you guys don’t mind if he’s usually with me. Sometimes my friends babysit, but usually, I take him with me to class.” 

“Oh, don’t worry, I love kids.” Oikawa smiled, the smile seeming suddenly genuine to Bokuto and no longer predatory. “I mean it, you should come around any time you like. Akaashi won’t be in for another two weeks, though. He has some time off.” 

“Well, I’ll be back when I have time,” Bokuto assured him. “I need to get going now but thank you for talking to me.”

“Anytime, Taro,” Oikawa said, leaning forward as Bokuto turned to leave the store. “And I won’t be offended if you want to wait for Akaashi to come back to work, but do feel free to visit before his vacation is over.”

Bokuto nodded, “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye-bye,” Oikawa said with a smile and a wave. 

Bokuto wasn’t sure what to think about Akaashi’s boss, but he thought that he might be a nice guy deep down. Also, he thought it might be nice to make some new friends.

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

His doorbell ringing woke Akaashi at eight in the morning, also known as too early to be awake on a day off. He managed to drag himself out of bed, though, and pull on a sweatshirt. He shuffled to the front door, yawning as he unlocked the door.

“Hello?” Akaashi asked when he opened his door to find a delivery man with a much too large package behind him. 

“Akaashi Keiji?” 

“Yes?”

“I have two packages for you from Mr. and Mrs. Akaashi.” The delivery man held out a clipboard. “Please sign here and here.”

“There are two packages?” Akaashi asked, signing quickly.

“Yes.” He took back the clipboard and stepped around the large package, picking up a smaller one. “Do you need help with these?”

“I think I’ll be fine,” Akaashi said, taking the smaller package before trying to decide what his parents had sent him. 

≒☼≓

It was a bike. And a child bike seat. And two helmets. 

“Keiji, good to hear from you,” his mother, Miyoko, answered sweetly. “How are you?”

“Fine. I was wondering why you sent me a bike.”

“Oh, well, we were talking to Keiko and she was talking about your job and your father realized that with the boys, you’ll probably want to finish work faster. He thought the bike would help to make deliveries. I added the bike seat so you can go places with Kei easily. I’m pretty sure the two helmets should be right for you two, but if not make sure to buy new ones. I’d better not catch you riding that bike without a helmet.” 

“I would never,” Akaashi said truthfully before pausing to look over the bike and accessories now in his apartment. “You really shouldn’t have.”

“Think of it as a thank you for being such a good brother.” She sounded suddenly sad. “We really wish we could have been more helpful, but until my back is healed a two-year-old alone would be too much.”

“Don’t worry, we both understand.” Akaashi sighed. “You still didn’t need to buy me a bike.” 

“We wanted to. You won’t let us help with anything but rent.”

“I’m 22 years old.”

“And you’re still our baby.” 

“You’ve already done so much for me. Paying rent, paying for my transition, paying for my groceries in college…” Akaashi trailed off, knowing he didn’t need to say all that, but wanting to anyway.

“We’re your parents.” 

Akaashi sighed again, feeling like the weight of this decision was only getting heavier. He wasn't sure he was ready for this when he felt barely able to take care of himself. How could he take care of these children? What was he thinking?

“Well, thank you for everything anyway.”

“If you need anything, we’ll help as much as we can.”

“I know and it does mean a lot to me.” Akaashi’s phone beeped and when he checked, he saw that Keiko was calling. “That’s Keiko.” 

“Well, I’ll let you go then. We love you, Keiji.”

“Love you too.” He ended the call and quickly switched over to his incoming call. “Hey, when are you getting in?”

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

At this point, Bokuto wasn’t even surprised when he ran into Akaashi at that same intersection. It was a common place for people to pass so it wasn’t strange, but there was still something funny about their timing. 

What Bokuto was surprised by was Akaashi’s large accompaniment. There was a woman who looked a lot like Akaashi and was pushing a stroller. She was walking next to Akaashi, the two of them chatting with matching placid faces that gave nothing away. Just behind them was a man who looked nothing like them—his most glaringly different trait was his blond hair—and was holding the hand of a small boy with similarly light colored hair. 

“Akaashi!” Bokuto called from across the street, waving to them as Shouyou tried to turn and look where Bokuto was looking. 

Akaashi looked up, his eyes momentarily wide with surprise before he seemed to digest the current situation and fall back into the same almost detached calmness that his face usually had. Usually was an odd word, Bokuto realized, given they’d really only talked twice. That said, Bokuto still felt like saying this was Akaashi’s usual expression was a pretty good bet. 

When the light changed, Akaashi and his companions—if Bokuto had to guess, he’d say the woman was Akaashi’s sister and the others were her family—stepped to the side and waited for Bokuto to cross the street. 

“Hello,” Bokuto said with a smile. “I’m Bokuto Koutarou and this is my son, Shouyou.” 

“Nice to meet you, Bokuto. I’m Tsukishima Keiko.” She held out her hand and Bokuto took it, unsurprised to find she had a strong handshake. “I’m Keiji’s sister. This is my family.”

“Tsukishima Yamato,” the man said with a friendly smile, shaking Bokuto’s hand next. He didn’t have a weak handshake but compared to Keiko’s it seemed that way. 

“And these are our sons, Akiteru and Kei.” 

“It’s nice to meet you all.”

“So, how do you know Keiji?” Keiko asked.

“Well, the other day–” Bokuto let out a loud skwak. “Umbrella!” 

“Huh?” Keiko asked, looking more than a little confused as Bokuto took off his backpack and started to rummage around inside.

“Your umbrella!” Bokuto pulled out the umbrella Akaashi had lent him the first time they met, holding it out towards the other man. “I forgot to return it last time I saw you. I went to the store but Oikawa said to come back later.” 

“Did he now?” Akaashi asked, taking back the umbrella. “Well, I guess I saved you the trouble.” 

Bokuto was quiet as he zipped back up his bag and returned into his back. When he looked up at Akaashi, his disappointment was written plainly across his face. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Bokuto lied badly.

“You wanted to come back to the store?” Akaashi asked, tilting his head to the side like he couldn’t figure out why the obvious answer to Bokuto’s look made so little sense. “Do you like flowers?”

“I mean, yeah, I guess,” Bokuto answered before quickly adding. “I mean about the first part. I mean, I like flowers, but that’s not what I meant. I was trying to say I do want to come to the shop. And I do like flowers, but that’s not why. I just was thinking that maybe it might be good if maybe—”

As he began to babble, Shouyou reached up and pushed a hand into Bokuto’s face as if he knew Bokuto was spiraling into incomprehensibility. 

“Please calm down, Bokuto, I didn’t mean anything by it.” Akaashi still looked a little uncertain. “If you want to come by the shop, please feel free to. I’m sure Oikawa would like the company and I know it would be nice to not be the only person who he bothered.”

Bokuto could see Yamato was laughing behind his hand and Keiko seemed to be holding back her own laughter and he turned red, wondering if they were laughing at him, Akaashi, or both of them. 

“Oh, well, I’m glad!” Suddenly, Bokuto remembered that he had places to be and he looked at his watch. “Ah! I’m sorry, I have to go! It was nice meeting you all. I’ll see you later, Akaashi.” 

“Nice meeting you too,” Keiko and Yamato said as Bokuto smiled at them. 

“I’ll see you later, Bokuto.”

Bokuto waved at them and then started to speed walk down the street, hoping he wouldn’t be late to class. 

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢


	3. Caution Required But Not Advised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Akaashi and Bokuto spend time together with their kids.

In a lot of ways, the two weeks of the Tsukishima family living in Akaashi’s apartment was like a crash course in parenthood for Akaashi. There were, of course, things to be learned about the basic care a 2-year-old needed but there was also a lot of other things Akaashi wasn’t prepared for. Like when to let Kei cry and when to comfort him. Or what foods Akiteru was allergic to. Akaashi hadn’t even known his nephew had allergies before this. It wasn’t like it was a major allergy—just celery and pineapples—but it still seemed so strange to Akaashi that he’d never known. 

He also learned that getting two and eight-year-olds to go to bed was nearly impossible.

“You have to watch out for Kei, sometimes he tries to climb out of the crib,” Keiko explained quietly once both boys had finally fallen asleep. “He’s supposed to start transitioning to a bed around this summer but we can talk to you more about that later.”

This was a lot and Akaashi was starting to feel a bit out of his depth.

“Are you sure it's a good idea to have me take care of them,” Akaashi said doubtfully. “I'm not sure I'm cut out for this.”

“You'll be fine,” Keiko said before smiling wickedly. “You can always ask your friend Bokuto to help you.”

“Not you too,” Akaashi groaned, wondering why this kept happening.

“What? He's cute and so is his son.”

“We've barely even talked to each other.”

“So? He obviously wants to spend time with you,” Yamato added with his own smirk. “He was so upset when you said he didn't need to come by the store.”

“I get this enough from Oikawa and Suga, I don't need you two adding to this. He has a baby, he's probably married.”

“Maybe, but I don't think so,” Keiko said. “He could be in a relationship but he wasn't wearing a wedding ring so I doubt he's married.”

“Doesn't change the fact that he's a stranger,” Akaashi stood. “I'd better get going, wouldn't want to keep Oikawa awake too late.”

“Of course. We'll see you tomorrow.” 

Akaashi quickly got his bag together. He was staying one week at Oikawa and Iwaizumi's apartment to let Keiko and Yamato settle the boys in the new apartment. Then, for the second week, Keiko and Yamato would stay in a hotel so they'd be close but it would, hopefully, help the boys adjust a little better. 

“Goodnight,” Akaashi said quietly as he headed to leave his apartment. “Sleep well.”

≒☼≓

Week two turned out to be a nightmare and a half. Akaashi was not prepared for the responsibility that one child entailed, let alone two. Even with Keiko and Yamato there to help, Akaashi could already feel the stress that this was going to give him.

The main thing he'd learned about Kei is that only about half his speech was understandable, with the rest being gibberish. Another big thing he learned was that Kei was an extremely picky eater and there was very little rhyme or reason to his likes and dislikes. 

Akiteru was very kind and supportive of his brother. He was generally happy to play with Kei and seemed to enjoy being a big brother. He as pretty independent but Akaashi could tell he was still pretty clingy towards his parents, especially Yamato.

Currently, Kei was refusing to eat the carrots Akaashi was trying to give him. Only last week he'd been more than happy to eat carrots but within a few days, he'd apparently decided that he hated them. Akiteru tried to help convince Kei but after a while Kei lost his temper, knocking the carrots off his high table.

“No care’ts!”

“Kei, honey,” Keiko said sweetly, finally taking over. “Be nice.”

“No care’ts!”

“I know.” Keiko thought for a moment. “Okay, do you want carrots or peas.”

Kei was still frowning when he finally spoke, “Peas…”

“Okay, but next time ask nicely.” 

Keiko disappeared into the kitchen to get peas for Kei and Akaashi was again crushed under the weight of what he was going to have to do alone in a few days. Not for the first time or the last, he wondered if this was a good idea. 

≒☼≓

Akaashi and Keiko were sitting at Akaashi’s dining room table sipping tea silently at about 8 while Yamato was busy getting Akiteru to bed. The boy had altogether been very good the entire time he’d been staying in Akaashi’s apartment but around bedtime, he would get just a little bit fussy. Keiko said that while some of that grumpiness was because he was getting tired, she suspected it was more due to the fact that he wouldn’t be seeing either of his parents for a while starting soon. 

“Keiko,” Akaashi spoke quietly, his eyes trained on the table top. 

“Yes?”

“I don’t think I can do this.” 

“Keiji…”

“I don’t mean to make this about me when you’re going through…” Akaashi shook his head. “I’m sorry for being selfish.”

“You’re not being selfish,” Keiko insisted. “You’re allowed to talk about what’s bothering you.”

“It’s just, I don’t know the first thing about parenting.” Akaashi looked up at his sister, the weight of these responsibilities pulling his mind toward despair. “I feel like I can barely take care of myself. How can I figure out all of this on my own.”

“Keiji, Owlet,” Keiko spoke quietly, a smile on her face as she used her old nickname for Akaashi, one that she had rarely used since he graduated high school. “You will do just fine. I know this is scary and it’s a lot for you to do, but you can do it. And you’re not alone. Your friends may not have any more experience than you do, but they’re still going to be there to help. And I know I was teasing you earlier but I really think that Bokuto guy can help. He seems like a good person.”

“I don’t know that, though,” Akaashi turned in on himself slightly and Keiko’s smile turned sad. His small withdrawl wouldn’t be enough for most people to notice but Akaashi knew that his sister knew him better than anyone in the entire world. “I was lucky with Suga and Oikawa.”

Akaashi hadn’t been what anyone would call lucky in high school. For the first year and a half, he was bullied for various reasons ranging from not smiling enough to being considered a bitch, all culminating in someone spray painting the later on his locker. The night after that happened, Akaashi had confessed his biggest secret to Keiko while the two were holed up in his closet, a place he’d spent much of his childhood hiding in because small spaces calmed his anxiety. 

Keiko looked at Akaashi for a little bit, obviously deciding what to say before she even tried to open her mouth. 

“I know you have a hard time trusting people, but not everyone will backstab you. Very few people will, actually.”

“This world is full of terrible people,” Akaashi countered. “I’m not good at… people and you know it. That makes me a target for everyone.” 

About a month after he told Keiko, he’d come out to his two closest friend, the vice-captain of his volleyball team—Suzumeda Kaori—and the team’s starting wing spiker who Akaashi had played volleyball with even before they joined the volleyball team together in middle school—Hashimoto Airi. The next week the entire school knew that Akaashi was trans, not that many people used such kind terminology. 

“What people did in high school was terrible. What Hashimoto did still makes me sick. But you know what I remember more than her or any of those other assholes?” Akaashi looked up at Keiko, not responding. “I remember how your teammates rallied around you. They were all good to you. Great to you. They were everything you deserved.”

She was right. Akaashi knew Keiko was right. Akaashi remembered walking into the locker room to find their captain—Shirofuku Yukie—holding back a livid Kaori who appeared to be attempting to beat the living shit out of Airi. 

Airi was their best player and had been a starter since freshman year. Now, at the beginning of her junior year, she was widely considered the team’s ace. But after outing Akaashi, the team all but kicked her out. She was still given a starting position but the team’s icy behavior towards her eventually caused her to quit the team to join the basketball team instead. 

He knew he probably shouldn’t, but Akaashi sometimes felt bad about that.

“Keiji, you don’t have to lay your heart out for a stranger,” Keiko reminded him. “I’m just saying that he could be an asset. And if he turns out to be a dick, drop him.” She chuckled. “I mean, if he’s a dick then I’m pretty sure Tooru and Koushi will deal with him accordingly.”

Akaashi was quiet for a long time before he spoke, changing the subject suddenly. 

“Are you afraid?”

“Of course I am.”

“Are you angry?”

“I was, I’m not anymore.” 

“You love him a lot.”

“I do,” Keiko said, smiling softly. Her entire face had softened, fear evident in her eyes but otherwise, she seemed at peace. “He’s really perfect.”

Akaashi wasn’t sure what else he was going to say, letting the table fall into silence until Yamato appeared, saying Akiteru was finally asleep. Without much more conversation, the two of them left and Akaashi was left alone with his thoughts and two babies he wasn’t sure he would ever be ready for.

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

Bokuto happened to run into Akaashi right outside the flower shop, both of them heading inside at the same time. 

“Good morning, Akaashi,” Bokuto said happily, turning sideways so Shouyou could see Akaashi too. “Shouyou, say hello.”

“Hello!” The little boy shouted enthusiastically, making a tired looking Akaashi smile despite himself. 

“Hello Bokuto, hello Shouyou.” He looked at the little boy in his arms—the same one Bokuto had seen the other day when he met Akaashi’s sister—and jostled him gently. “Kei, you say hello too.”

The small blond boy turned to look at Bokuto and Shouyou, looking distinctly unimpressed which was a strange expression to see on such a young boy’s face. That said, Bokuto suspected it was simply what he looked like when he was feeling shy. Shouyou wasn’t exactly a shy two-year-old—he was often too friendly with strangers—but he still had his moments of shyness so Bokuto was used to it.

He leaned over so he was more at Kei’s eyes level, smiling widely. 

“Hello, Kei.” 

“Hello,” Kei responded quietly, looking suspicious of Bokuto but no longer like he didn’t want to look at him. 

With the pleasantries out of the way, Bokuto turned his attention more fully to Akaashi. 

Akaashi looked tired, more so than he had been the other times Bokuto saw him, and like he was being crushed under the weight of some unknown responsibilities. Then again, given the baby in his arms, Bokuto could guess at what those responsibilities might be even if he didn’t understand them. 

“Are you going to work?” Bokuto asked, indicating the flower shop with a jerk of his head. 

“Yes. It’s my first day back after my… vacation.” Akaashi took a deep breath like he was trying to give himself time to think. “Are you visiting too?”

“Well, I visited last week and had a good time talking to Oikawa then he texted me today saying I should come by around now if I had time. I did so I listened to him.” Bokuto didn’t spare a second thought for the way Oikawa’s given time had matched Akaashi’s arrival time to work. For as much as Oikawa reminded him of Kuroo, Bokuto couldn’t come up with a real reason to be suspicious of his motives and so had decided there was nothing to be suspicious of. “I’m glad I did, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”

“Yes, it has, hasn’t it,” Akaashi agreed. “Why don’t we go inside. If we say out here any longer Oikawa will start to get ideas.” 

Bokuto wasn’t sure what that meant but he obliged, following closely behind Akaashi as he entered the shop.

“Welcome back you two,” Oikawa said sweetly when they walked in. “It’s nice to see you both.”

“Thank you for the time off,” Akaashi responded. “And for letting me bring Kei.”

“Suga insisted,” Oikawa said before turning towards the back room. “Suga, get your aaa…” Oikawa turned to look at the two people holding babies in front of him, “Get out here!” 

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Suga appeared, smiling widely. “Where’s my cute nephew.”

“Suga, he’s not your nephew,” Akaashi reminded him. “He’s never even met you.” 

“So what?” Suga smiled at Bokuto and Shouyou. “Hello, you two. Bokuto and Shouyou, right? It’s nice to meet you both.” 

“Nice to meet you too. What was your name again?” 

“Sugawara Koushi,” Suga said with a big grin. “But you can call me Suga. Everyone does.” 

“Okay then, it’s nice to meet you, Suga. Shouyou, say hello to everyone.”

“Hello!” Shouyou shouted with a big grin of his own. When he saw Oikawa he seemed to light up, remembering him from last time. “Toto! Hello!” 

Suga snorted, “Toto? That’s adorable.”

“Hello, Shou,” Oikawa said with a slight blush from Suga’s teasing. “Stop being mean, he can’t say my name very well. It just comes out as ‘o-wee-wa-wa to-woo’ so I went with the sound he can say easier.” 

“Yeah, his pronunciation still isn’t great,” Bokuto admitted before adding proudly, “but he’s getting better.” 

“Well, either way, it’s adorable,” Suga insisted before moving on to talk to Kei. “Hey there, Kei, you ready for a fun afternoon with your new uncle?”

Kei looked at Suga with the same unsure eyes he leveled at Bokuto earlier and Bokuto nearly laughed. Seeing the look directed at someone else made the fact that a baby looked like he was unimpressed and suspicious of the person in front of him a lot funnier. 

“You say that like I won’t be here most of the day,” Akaashi said with an eye roll, carefully handing Kei over to Suga while waiting to make sure the boy wasn’t distressed. “Are there any deliveries to make, Oikawa?” 

“Just one right now. Here.” Oikawa handed the flowers over to Akaashi. “You brought your bike, right?”

“Parked around the corner,” Akaashi informed him, checking the information on the delivery. “This is close, I should be back soon.” 

“We’ll take good care of Kei while you’re gone,” Suga said.

“I’ll see you later, Bokuto,” Akaashi said. 

“See you later,” Bokuto responded and then Akaashi was gone. He hoped his disappointment didn’t show much but he guessed it did because when he turned back towards Oikawa and Suga they were both smirking at him. “What?”

“Don’t worry, he really will be back soon,” Oikawa assured him. “Now, tell me how you’ve been.” 

≒☼≓

By the time Akaashi returned, Bokuto had been convinced to take a break from Shouyou so that he could chat more with Oikawa. Also, Suga had reasoned, it would be good for the two babies to play together since they were the same age. 

Bokuto had learned that Suga had three younger siblings and that was how he’d come to be trusted so easily with Kei. 

“Welcome back,” Oikawa said with a smile when the door opened. “Nobody threw anything at you today?”

“Not today,” Akaashi responded. 

“Is that a common thing?” Bokuto asked, a little worried. 

“No, it’s only happened the one time,” Akaashi told him, sitting heavily on the empty seat behind the counter. “How are you, Bokuto?” 

“I’m good,” Bokuto said with his usual bright smile that many people said was one of the few traits he shared with Shouyou. “How about you? You look tired.”

“I guess I am,” Akaashi answered. 

Bokuto waited for him to continue but when he didn’t, Oikawa jumped in.

“Akaashi is taking care of his nephews for a bit while his sister and her husband are abroad. They just left two days ago. He’s also in school.”

“Wow, that’s a lot!” Bokuto exclaimed with bright eyes. “Two kids, a job, and school. No wonder you’re tired.”

“I mean, you’re doing just as much as me. Probably more,” Akaashi reminded him. 

“Sure, but I’ve been doing it for, like, two years. I’m used to it. The first few months are always the hardest.” Bokuto remembered when he was first left alone with Shouyou and how he’d had a complete meltdown. It was just good that Kuroo and Kenma had been there for him, otherwise, he never would have made it through one week, let alone over two years. “What do you study? Are you in graduate school?”

Akaashi nodded, “I’m studying history with a focus on Familial History.” When Bokuto just blinked in confusion, Akaashi added, “It’s basically the history of families. Right now I studying modern family through the lens of gender.” 

Bokuto stared at him for a little longer before giving up on really understanding how graduate school worked and instead responded with a big, honest smile.

“That sounds really complicated but maybe sometime you could explain it to me.” 

Bokuto noticed a slight dusting of red across Akaashi’s cheeks but he didn’t think much of it. 

“And what about you,” Akaashi asked, his voice even. “What are you studying?”

“Physical therapy,” Bokuto said, looking down at his lap as he spoke. He always felt a little silly talking about his studies given he’d never been considered a particularly good student. “I used to play volleyball and really loved it but I got injured… It was hard after that, but when I was injured I had a really nice physical therapist so… I guess I wanted to do something still in sports even though I can’t play anymore.” 

“That’s really sweet of you,” Akaashi said and when Bokuto looked up he found a slight smile on Akaashi face. “And you played volleyball?”

“Yeah, until around sophomore year of college. After I got injured at the end of freshman year, I lost my scholarship… I was able to play again when my injury healed but I never got my scholarship back so I had to work a lot more. Then, after Shouyou was born I couldn’t take care of him, do school work, and work enough jobs to make a living.”

“I’m sorry,” Akaashi said, a look of genuine sadness on his face.

Bokuto waved his hand, trying to dispel the unpleasantness of the conversation. 

“That was a while ago, it’s all good now. Do you like volleyball?”

“I used to play too, until the end of high school,” Akaashi told him. “What position did you play?” 

“Wing spiker,” Bokuto said with a proud smile. “How about you?”

“Setter.”

Even though he continued like normal, Bokuto thought he noticed Akaashi suddenly putting up a wall between them. He had no clue why, but he was sure he’d done something wrong.

“That’s super cool,” Bokuto responded, hoping if he pretended not to notice that things would turn out okay. “Yah know, Akaashi, I was just thinking that we should get together sometimes to study and have, like, playdates with Shouyou and Kei. That way they can have someone to play with and we can get homework done and stuff!” 

Akaashi looked uncertain for a moment but then he nodded, though the wall still seemed to be there. 

“That sounds like a good idea, Bokuto.” 

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

Akaashi was incessantly cleaning when his doorbell rang. He knew it was silly to feel embarrassed about Bokuto thinking his apartment was messy—it wasn’t—but he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t even like he was trying particularly hard to impress Bokuto, but there was a part of him that just couldn’t let the place be. 

“Hello,” Akaashi greeted when he hurried to open the door. “Come in.” 

“Thanks for inviting us over,” Bokuto said as Shouyou jumped in to greet Akaashi.

“Hi! I saw a ‘at! He was coot!” 

“A cat?” Akaashi asked, unsure if that’s what Shouyou was talking about. 

“Yeah! He was coot!” 

“Well, if you see him again you should take a picture.” Akaashi smiled at the boy as Bokuto set him on the ground, helping him take his shoes off. “Why don’t we go say hi to Kei?”

Shouyou nodded enthusiastically before running ahead of Akaashi and Bokuto and into the next room.

“Wow! I’s so big!” Shouyou ran back to look at Akaashi and Bokuto with bright eyes. “I’s so big!” 

Bokuto looked a little uncomfortable and so Akaashi jumped in to explain, not wanting to seem unreasonably rich or anything.

“My parents own the building so they insisted I live here. It’s a little too nice for me but since I’m taking care of Kei and Akiteru it’s turned out to be a really good thing.”

“The biggest apartment Shouyou has ever been in is Kuroo and Kenma’s and that place is pretty small since it’s just the two of them and neither of them makes much money,” Bokuto explained before adding, “Kuroo and Kenma are friends of mine from high school.” 

Shouyou had already found where Kei was playing and was greeting the other boy loudly. Kei was younger and more reserved so instead of responding, he was mostly staring at Shouyou uncertainty. 

“Kei, why don’t you say hello?” Akaashi prompted. “You remember Shouyou and Bokuto from the other day, don’t you? Shouyou is here to play today.” 

“Hi,” Kei said shyly. He was an immensely shy baby but Akaashi had found out quickly that the look he usually ended up giving people when he was being shy was one that looked almost suspicious. It was a little funny to see on a two-year-old’s face, but it seemed to make people uncomfortable. 

“I saw a ‘at!” Shouyou told him. “I like ‘ats!” 

Akaashi smiled at the boy, finding Shouyou to be incredibly charming for a two-year-old. Not that he didn’t think Kei was great, but he wasn’t exactly charming. In all fairness, there was a nearly six month gap between them, so it was only reasonable that Kei would have a little less personality. Also, Kei took after Keiko more than Yamato, so reservation was to be expected.

“Well,” Bokuto said with a smile. “Looks like they’ll get along just fine.” 

“I guess we should get to studying then,” Akaashi said and Bokuto groaned, making Akaashi chuckle.

≒☼≓

“I never said we were very smart!” Bokuto defended as Akaashi leveled him with a raised eyebrow. “We were seventeen! Everyone’s stupid when they’re seventeen.” 

“Jumping over a box of lit fireworks is more than stupid, it’s suicidal.” Akaashi shook his head, trying not to laugh at the story because it was honestly too horrifying to laugh at. 

“Come on, you never did anything stupid in high school?”

Akaashi thought back to high school, knowing very well there was little of interest to be found there.

“Mostly I studied and played volleyball. I usually tried to keep my head down.” 

“Really?” Bokuto tilted his head, further confirming Akaashi’s theory that Bokuto and he had very different high school experiences. 

Bokuto could come off as a bit dim some of the time but Akaashi could easily see that he was anything but that. And anyway, nobody in high school would have cared about that. Instead, the fact that Bokuto had a magnetic personality would have been his main asset. 

It was why Akaashi was afraid of him. His brain had made an unfair connection between Bokuto’s position on his volleyball team and Airi’s—plenty of people played wing spiker and Akaashi knew plenty of them who were great people—but it was hard to forget the way she’d been a magnet when Akaashi never was. Akaashi knew this was another unfair connection since the same could be said about Suga and Oikawa, especially Oikawa. But the only reason he’d trusted them was that they’d met at an LGBT+ students support meeting near the beginning of Akaashi’s freshman year, just as he’d started to look a little more like he felt he should but was still finding himself feeling extremely vulnerable. His self-confidence wasn’t very high at the time and he’d held a silent fear deep in the back of his mind that someone would call him out for not being a ‘real man.’ 

They’d—maybe too forcefully—taken Akaashi under their wing all while their respective boyfriends tried to keep them from overwhelming Akaashi too much. 

Akaashi had been lucky with them and he wasn’t sure he had much luck left. 

“Akaashi?” Bokuto asked, looking worriedly at Akaashi who’d just realized he’d been silently lost in his own mind for gods knew how long. 

“Sorry, my mind wandered,” Akaashi admitted. “I really didn’t do much in high school.”

“I mean, I guess I didn’t either,” Bokuto laughed. “I know I wasn’t preparing for college since that didn’t turn out very well. And my bad decision-making skills weren’t really lost when I graduated high school.” 

“You seem to be doing alright now.”

“Sure, but I’m just lucky that my school let me take an extended break instead of just dropping out. Otherwise, I would have been pretty screwed.” Bokuto smiled, looking honestly not too worried about what he was talking about. “I love Shouyou but I’m sure you can tell he was unplanned.”

“You’re not that young of a father,” Akaashi pointed out. “You’re, what, 23?”

“Not yet, but I will be this year,” Bokuto responded. “Maybe I’m not that young for a parent, but I’m a bit young to be a single parent, I’d say.”

“Maybe,” Akaashi conceded. “But you seem to be doing pretty good.”

“Maybe I am,” Bokuto agreed before his smile faded a little. “I’m just worried that Shouyou needs more than I can give him. He’s so bright and curious. I want to send him to preschool, he’s old enough, but I just… I don’t think I can.”

“Why not?”

“Ah, well, preschools can be a bit expensive. It’s not out of the question but price versus quality is hard.” 

“I guess I never thought about it,” Akaashi admitted. “I mean, I don’t pay for the majority of the cost to raise Kei and Akiteru. Keiko is sending me money from her work overseas to pay for their education and other expenses. Also, I don’t think Kei is ready for preschool yet. He’s a bit quiet.”

“I think he’ll outgrow that,” Bokuto told Akaashi even though he clearly had no reason to believe that. 

“If you want, I can look into the cost of the preschool Keiko and Yamato picked out for Kei when he’s ready. I’ve never really looked at them but I don’t think they’ll be too bad. Keiko and Yamato don’t have a lot of money to spare right now, but I know they wouldn’t pick anywhere low quality.

“That would be a lot of help, thank you,” Bokuto responded, both of them having abandoned any attempts at homework to instead watch the two boys play. “And if there’s ever anything I can do to help you, just text or call. I know I’m not much of an expert, especially not when it comes to eight-year-olds, but I’m still here to help.” 

“Okay, Bokuto.” Akaashi looked at Bokuto, letting his face soften into a slight smile. For all his worries, Akaashi could feel himself being pulled easily into Bokuto’s orbit. “Thank you.” 

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it isn't already clear, it will probably become so sooner rather than later, but still, I should say this: I know very little about graduate school, especially in liberal arts type fields. I studied meteorology, which is basically physics and calculus. I have a basic understanding of graduate studies in meteorology since I almost pursued that, but when it comes to things like sociology and fields like that, I'm clueless. I tried my best.


	4. Maybe in the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which friends are important.

Bokuto waited patiently for Akaashi’s door to open, Shouyou standing next to him and bouncing in place. Bokuto had an old tupperware held in both his hands, a little afraid he might drop it. 

Bokuto didn’t have the money to get Akaashi a gift and even if he had, he would have had no idea what to get the other man. They hadn’t known each other for that long and the only things he knew for sure they had in common were volleyball and two-year-olds. 

Initially, he’d tried to come at it from the volleyball angle but he realized that Akaashi hadn’t played since high school and that maybe he didn’t even like volleyball anymore. Maybe he’d only brought it up earlier because it was something they could talk about. 

Also, Bokuto had no clue what to get that was volleyball themed. 

The door opened and Akaashi appeared, looking tired but not unhappy to see Bokuto. Bokuto was glad because he was a little afraid Akaashi would be annoyed by having a near-stranger and a baby at his birthday party. 

“Oh, hello Bokuto, I’m glad you could make it.” Akaashi looked at Shouyou, “Hello Shouyou. Did you see any cats this time?” 

“No!” Shouyou answered. “Hello, Aka-see!”

“Akaashi,” Bokuto said, hoping Shouyou would pick up the pronunciation soon. He was starting to worry about Shouyou’s trouble with pronunciation. “Thanks for inviting us.” 

“Of course,” Akaashi responded, stepping aside. “Why don’t you come in. Everyone else is here.”

“Oh sorry, were you waiting for me?” Bokuto asked with a laugh. “I’m kinda’ bad with timing sometimes.”

“No, you’re fine,” Akaashi responded as Bokuto took off his shoes before stooping over to help Shouyou take off his. “They were all early. Oikawa and Suga always come early. They basically invited themselves over anyway.” 

“Well, I’m glad they did. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have known it was your birthday.” Before they stepped into the living room, Bokuto paused and so did Akaashi. “Happy birthday, by the way. I made these.”

Bokuto extended the tupperware towards Akaashi, who looked genuinely surprised. 

“You didn’t need to get me a gift. Or make me one.” 

“It’s fine, I like cooking and stuff.” Bokuto blushed a little, hoping Akaashi wouldn’t think it was weird that he cooked and baked. “They’re just some truffles. I hope you’re not allergic to anything. There’s a few different types and I can tell you what they are if you want.” 

“Thank you, Bokuto,” Akaashi said, his voice just a little quieter as he looked at the slightly battered plastic container. “This was really thoughtful.” 

“I hope you like them,” Bokuto said, rubbing his hands together nervously. “It’s been a while since I’ve made truffles.”

“I’m sure they’ll be amazing,” Akaashi told Bokuto, sounding truthful to Bokuto’s ears as he set the container down on the kitchen counter. “Why don’t we say hello to everyone else?”

Bokuto nodded, following Akaashi into the other room while Shouyou ran ahead. 

“Taro!” Oikawa called from Akaashi’s couch where he was seated next to a tough looking man whose shoulders he had his arm around. “Glad you could make it. Nice to see you, Shou.”

“Hi, Toto,” Shouyou responded with a big smile that Oikawa easily returned. “Hi, Suga.”

“Hello, Shouyou,” Suga responded. He was also sitting next to a rather tough looking man. “And hello Bokuto.” 

Both of the men that Bokuto hadn’t met looked at him with nonjudgmental eyes that put him at ease just a little. Even so, Bokuto found he was a little intimidated by their presences. Before introductions could happen, Shouyou spotted Kei who was sitting on the floor with his brother. 

“Kei! Hi!” Shouyou ran over to the other boy, nearly tripping on his own feet. “Hi!” 

When Kei didn’t respond, Akiteru took the opportunity to respond.

“Hello, umm… Shouyou? I’m Akiteru.” He poked his little brother, “Say hi, Kei.” 

“Hello,” Kei said quietly before clamming up completely. 

“I don’t think we’ve met,” Bokuto said, turning his attention back to the adults in the room. “I’m Bokuto Koutarou.”

“Sawamura Daichi, but please call me Daichi,” the man next to Suga said with a small smile and a nod. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“I’m Iwaizumi Hajime and do you really think we don’t both already know your name. You’re all Oikawa talks about anymore.”

“Iwa!” Oikawa complained. “Don’t be mean.”

Bokuto rubbed the back of his neck, unsure what to say to that and instead laughed loudly. 

“I’m just glad to be invited.” Bokuto smiled at everyone, feeling a little out of place. He was sometimes struck by how much a few years could change a person because he knew for sure that high school him would never have felt out of place anywhere, let alone in a friend’s house.  

“Please sit, Bokuto,” Akaashi said, gesturing to an open chair that had been pulled from the kitchen into the living room. 

“So, what do you do?” Daichi asked once Bokuto say, Akaashi disappearing to find another chair for himself. 

“Umm… well, a lot of things,” Bokuto answered, trying not to sound uncomfortable. Only three or four years ago he wouldn’t have been embarrassed to tell people everything about himself and his personal life. Nowadays, though, he knew how much it hurt when people laughed at you for the way your life turned out. “But I guess the main thing I do is study physical therapy.”

“Really?” Daichi asked, seemingly genuinely interested. “I almost studied that, actually.” 

“Oh, really?” Bokuto said as Akaashi returned, “What do you do instead?”

“I ended up switching to astrophysics,” Daichi said, laughing a little. “I know that’s really different, but it’s a little hard to say. Now I’m a graduate student.”

“Daichi and I are students at the same university,” Akaashi explained. “It’s also the same one that we all went to during undergraduate.”

“Which university?” Bokuto asked since they lived in a pretty big city. There were two big universities he knew of and possibly some he’d forgotten about. 

“Everglade University,” Akaashi responded. “What about you?”

“Southview,” Bokuto smiled a little sheepishly, knowing Southview wasn’t exactly known for its educational prowess. Not like Everglade, which didn’t have much a presence in sports, but did have a presence in just about everything else a university could. “They don’t have a great PT department but they have a good volleyball team so that’s how I ended up there. I never seriously considered PT as a career until Shouyou was born.” 

“They say kids change your perspective,” Suga said with a small smile. 

“They sure do,” Bokuto agreed, gaining more confidence as he talked. “Newborns are so tiny and fragile, it’s crazy. I was afraid I’d break him by accident.” 

“He still seems pretty little to me,” Oikawa commented. 

“Newborns are even tinier,” Bokuto explained. “Also he was pretty early so it might take him a bit longer to really start growing.”

“I mean, with you as his dad, he’ll probably be pretty big when he’s older,” Suga posited. 

“Sure, but his mom was short as hell,” Bokuto said with a laugh before realizing everyone else looked a little uncomfortable. “Ah, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Akaashi was the one to speak up. “We just weren’t sure if Shouyou’s mother was a sore topic.”

“No,” Bokuto said honestly, some of his confidence drying up again. “She’s not around anymore, but I don’t hold a grudge or anything. We both made our choices and I’m just glad that I’m able to be here with Shouyou.” 

When there was continued silence, Bokuto tried to change the subject. He always forgot that most people with absent former partners were still upset or angry and that when he wasn’t people didn’t know how to act. Bokuto never understood the value in sadness or anger over someone else’s choice. 

He had Shouyou and for all the problems he faced, Bokuto was happy. 

“What about everyone else,” Bokuto asked. “What do you do? I know Akaashi and Daichi are students and I know Oikawa owns the flower shop but what about you two?”

“I’m in medical school,” Iwaizumi said, “It’s why I’m not around the store very often. I’m usually studying or in class.”

“Iwa wants to be a pediatrician,” Oikawa chimed in. “Isn’t that so adorable?” Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa, nearly knocking him off his chair. “Hey!” 

“I’m a computer programmer,” Suga said before Oikawa could start complaining more. “My hours are pretty flexible which is why I end up at the flower shop a lot. I work from home so it’s nice to get out once in a while.” 

The conversation fell into an easy rhythm of questions that were, on the whole, meaningless. And yet, somehow, Bokuto found that he loved this. He got a little bit of this when he spent time with Kenma and Kuroo, but honestly, that was different. Kenma and Kuroo had been best friends since childhood and even if they were different people, they were also a bit of a set now. This, though, was different. It had been a long time since Bokuto had been part of a group like this and it felt… nice. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to remain in this group but, for now, he was just happy to be here. 

≒☼≓

Iwaizumi and Oikawa were the first to leave since Iwaizumi needed to get up early the next day and still had homework to finish. It was about twenty minutes later that Bokuto got a text from his boss saying that someone got sick and that he’d get one and a half pay if he could come in in half an hour. Now Bokuto and Shouyou were putting their shoes back on while Akaashi watched them go, looking almost wistful. 

“Thank you for coming,” Akaashi said while Bokuto helped Shouyou finish putting his shoes on. “I’m glad you could.”

“Thanks for inviting me,” Bokuto returned, smiling at Akaashi. “I hope this was a good birthday.”

“It was,” Akaashi said, sounding truthful to Bokuto’s ears. “I’ll get back your tupperware soon.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Bokuto laughed, “I’ve got plenty of those lying around my apartment. I’d say you could keep it, but I’m guessing you don’t need my old tupperware.”

“I don’t really need any tupperware,” Akaashi told him. “I don’t cook much. I’m pretty bad at it.” 

“Oh, well maybe I could show you sometime,” Bokuto said offhandedly without realizing how not offhand that comment was. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime,” Akaashi said, waving to them both. “See you, Shouyou.” 

“Bye-bye, Akaashi!” Bokuto felt a swell of pride at his correct pronunciation of Akaashi’s name. “See you!”

“See you,” Bokuto echoed as he let the door close. 

Before it closed, Akaashi smiled just a little. 

“See you later, Bokuto.”

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

Akaashi returned to the shop after a delivery to find Bokuto had shown up with Shouyou, the two of them sitting and chatting with Oikawa and Suga. 

“Hello, Bokuto. Hello, Shouyou,” Akaashi said, catching their attention. 

“Akaashi!” Shouyou shouted with his usual high level of excitement. “I saw a cat!” 

“Another one?” Akaashi asked with a smile as he walked back to the counter, handing Oikawa the signed receipts from his deliveries. “Cats must like you.” 

“I pet him!” 

“Oh really?” Akaashi leaned against the counter, unable to keep himself from smiling at the small boy. “He didn’t scratch you?”

“No! He was nice and soft!” Shouyou was bouncing in Bokuto’s lap. “He was black and white and soft!” 

“Well, he sounds very cute.” Akaashi turned his attention to Bokuto. “He likes cats.”

“Yeah, Kuroo and Kenma have turned him to their side of the ‘best animal’ battle.” 

“You don’t agree with them?” Akaashi asked, trying to ignore the sly smiles on his friends’ faces. 

“Cats are fine, but owls are the best,” Bokuto said matter-of-factly. 

“Oh, you like owls?” Akaashi almost laughed at himself for not realizing that pretty obvious fact. “My old school district’s mascot was an owl.”

“Really?” Bokuto’s eyes opened wide in surprise, a smile on his face. “That’s so cool! Mine was a tiger so not cool at all.” 

“Back in elementary school I was actually really afraid of owls,” Akaashi admitted. “Barn owls still kind of scare me. At the end of elementary school, I got to pet an owl, though, and it was really cute so I ended up kind of liking them.”

“Akaashi’s family nickname is owlet,” Suga told Bokuto, earning him a glare from Akaashi. “Sometimes Keiko still calls him that.”

“That’s a really cute nickname,” Bokuto said, making Akaashi blush despite his attempts to convince his cheeks not to do that. 

“Suga, you forgot the best part,” Oikawa chimed in, Akaashi considering if it was worth killing Oikawa. “The nickname came from how in fifth and sixth grade, before he joined the volleyball team, Akaashi was on the cheerleading team. They were called The Owlets.” 

“I swear to god, Oikawa,” Akaashi said, his cheeks reddening further. 

“What,” Oikawa asked, looking innocently at Akaashi. “It’s cute.” 

Akaashi didn’t really want to think about the many embarrassing videos and pictures from that time. Akaashi gave most of the credit for his current good coordination to volleyball and before he started playing, he wasn’t a very coordinated child. He also had perpetually messy hair that made him look like he’d just gotten out of bed. There was not one, but three home videos of him tripping over his own feet either during practice or during an actual performance. The one time he did so in a performance he’d fallen pretty spectacularly, landing on his face and giving himself a nosebleed. 

“Akaashi, that’s super cute!” Bokuto told him, only furthering the blush on Akaashi’s cheeks. “Do you have any pictures?”

“Yes.” Akaashi said but before Bokuto could ask to see them he added, “And no, you can’t see them. They only still exist because my parents would be heartbroken if I burned them all like I want to.” 

“Please,” Bokuto begged, his eyes wide. He had quite the puppy-dog eyes, but Akaashi wouldn’t be so easily swayed. 

“No way.”

“Aww, no fun,” Bokuto complained.

“I’m sorry, I guess I’m just no fun,” Akaashi shrugged. 

“Taro, that kind of thing doesn’t work on Akaashi. He’s too strong-willed.” Oikawa shook his head. “I’ve tried everything, including puppy-dog eyes, and he’s immune.”

“Your puppy-dog eyes are terrible,” Suga said with a smirk, earning him a pout from Oikawa.

“They work on Iwa.”

“Iwaizumi is dating you, of course they do. I’m pretty sure Iwaizumi couldn’t show you a good set of puppy-dog eyes if his life depended on it but if he even tried you’d cave in a second.” 

“I’d love to see Akaashi try–” Bokuto was, thankfully, cut off by his cellphone and Akaashi was saved a lot of embarrassing pleas from the room. “Hello? Oh, Kuroo…” Bokuto’s smile dropped but his voice stayed positive. “No, it’s fine. I get it… Don’t worry, really, things happen… Kuroo, I can watch it when it comes out on DVD…” Bokuto smiled slightly. “Kuroo, really, there’s nothing you could do. I like spending time with Shouyou so don’t worry about… Of course. Keep me updated. See you.” Bokuto put his phone away, replacing his slight smile with the same large one from earlier and Akaashi was struck by how real it looked even though he suspected it was less than authentic. “Sorry about that.”

“What happened?” Akaashi asked, a little concerned. 

“Oh, my friends Kuroo and Kenma were going to watch Shouyou tonight so I could go see a movie that’s leaving the theater soon. They both work for the same place and there was an emergency so they both had to go in.”

“That’s too bad,” Akaashi said, “If you want, I can take care of Shouyou for a little while and you can go to the movie.”

“No, it’s fine,” Bokuto told him. “I can’t ask you to do that. I already felt back asking Kuroo and Kenma.”

“I have a way better idea,” Suga exclaimed. “You can both go together. Daichi and I can watch Akiteru, Kei, and Shouyou. Akaashi, you haven’t had a proper night off in the last almost three months.”

“Suga, I wouldn’t want to put you out,” Akaashi told him. 

“It would be no problem,” Suga smiled at Bokuto. “That is if you trust me with Shouyou.”

“Of course I trust you, but I wouldn’t want to bother you any more than I want to bother Akaashi.” 

Akaashi turned to look at Bokuto and found he had withdrawn in on himself, looking uncertain and almost fearful. Akaashi had never seen him this way since they met and he realized that for as loud and unthinking as Bokuto could sometimes seem to be—he often seemed to say whatever came to mind—he was actually incredibly thoughtful. 

Akaashi also realized that if he didn’t accept, Bokuto wouldn't either. 

“Come on, Akaashi,” Suga said, his voice sweet and maybe a little knowing. What he knew, Akaashi wasn’t sure but Suga seemed to think he knew something. 

With a sigh, Akaashi shrugged. “Why not? One night can’t hurt. And I guess you two do seem to love babysitting for some reason.” Akaashi turned to look at Bokuto. “Well, how about it? I don’t know what movie you want to see, but we might as well go see it while we have the chance.”

Bokuto’s eyes lit up, the smile on his face widening into an almost impossibly large smile. 

“You really want to?” 

“Sure, why not?”

“Okay!” Bokuto turned to smile at Suga. “Thank you so much, Suga!” 

“No problem,” Suga said, waving his hand to dispel the thank you. “You guys figure out when you want to go and you can text me about dropping off the boys.”

“Thank you!” Bokuto said again, excitedly before turning to look back at Akaashi. “This’ll be so much fun!” 

Akaashi smiled back because as much as he hated asking people to do him favors, he thought Bokuto might be right. 

≒☼≓

Akaashi hadn’t really been expecting to go and see a romance movie with Bokuto, but he hadn’t made any mention of his distaste for romance movies. In the end, it wasn’t a terrible movie and had been pretty fun at the very least. Akaashi still didn’t think he’d be watching many romance movies in the future, but it had been nice to do something truly mindless for a couple of hours. 

After the movie was over, they both decided to grab something to eat for dinner before heading over to pick up the boys. Sitting over their meals—Akaashi had ordered a salad and after a long, uncertain silence Bokuto had apparently panicked, forgetting what he wanted and so he just said he wanted the same thing—their conversation meandered from topic to topic, never staying anywhere for too long. It was like both of them could feel how light the mood was currently and neither wanted to be the one to break it. 

After a particularly long lull in the conversation, Bokuto leaned back and let out a long, satisfied breath. 

“Tonight was really fun.”

“It was,” Akaashi agreed.

“I love Shouyou, but it’s nice to get away sometimes,” Bokuto admitted. “And it’s so weird to think that I have more friends now who can help me take care of Shouyou.”

“I hope you didn’t feel pressured to leave Shouyou with Suga and Daichi,” Akaashi said, remembering how little Bokuto actually knew the two men. 

“No, I know you trust them and Shouyou likes Suga, so I wasn’t worried about that. I felt a little bad leaving him with them, but I guess that just shows how good of people they are.” 

“Yeah, they’re great. And so are Iwaizumi and Oikawa, though there usually much busier than Suga and Daichi. Well, Daichi is pretty busy, but I’m pretty sure he’s been busy since he was fourteen.” 

“I never really knew what it meant to be busy, I think,” Bokuto said honestly. “Like I was busy when I first started college. Studying and being a student-athlete wasn’t easy, but I really didn’t study that hard at the time. I didn’t have any reason to. Now, I’m lucky if I sleep 5 hours.” 

“Yeah, I never really considered what people meant when they told me to slow down until I didn’t have a choice.” Akaashi thought back to high school and university and how everyone always told him they were worried about him for this reason or that reason. He’d never understood back then. He was doing fine even if he maybe didn’t get enough sleep and definitely didn’t have any free time. “Now that things are out of my hands, it’s easier to see what people meant.” 

“Being a single parent is hard,” Bokuto said, nodding to himself. “And you have two kids now, so that can’t be easy.”

“I mean, I don’t really pay for their cost of living and whatnot so it’s not too bad. How many jobs do you work, again?” 

“Like two and a half.”

“Two and a half?” 

“Well, I have two jobs I do online but they don’t take up that much time. And I work as a janitor part-time.”

“Three jobs,” Akaashi shook his head. “That’s too many. I don’t know how you can do that, study, and take care of Shouyou.”

“Without Kuroo and Kenma, I never would have been able to.” Bokuto looked off into space, looking almost wistful. “Without them, I don’t think I would have been able to keep Shouyou, let alone go back to college.”

“You know, we’ve known each other for almost three months and I still haven’t met these two,” Akaashi pointed out. “You told me some stories about high school, but how did you guys become friends?”

“We went to school together, though we didn’t really hang out much until middle school. We were all on the volleyball team together. After that, we spent more time together. They were the only ones who have stuck with me through it all. Well, not the only ones, some of my other friends from high school are still friends, but they all moved far away. Or stayed in our hometown.” Bokuto’s smile dissolved as he picked at the remains of his salad. “They’re the only ones who are here for me and who are always ready to help. I can’t say the same about my family.”

“I’m sorry,” Akaashi managed, not sure what else to say.

“It was my choice,” Bokuto told him, surprising Akaashi. “They didn’t agree with… well, a lot of things, and were very negative about the choices I’d made in life. I told them that either they could accept my life as it was now or they could get out. They chose to leave.”

“I’m still sorry. I’ve had a lot of changes happen in the last, maybe, eight years and I couldn’t have done it without my family.”

“Kuroo and Kenma are my family now. Shouyou is my family.” Bokuto’s smile returned, this time small and soft. “And I guess maybe you guys are part of it too. I don’t need people who aren’t going to be there for me and Shouyou.”

“Friends are important,” Akaashi said, thinking about to high school. Sure, he’d been betrayed by someone he considered his best friend, but he’d also been fiercely protected by another best friend and by many teammates he would probably call friends. And his small group of friends from university were pretty much the best people he knew. “Good friends are important.”

“You sound like someone speaking from experience,” Bokuto said, a strange wisdom Akaashi occasionally saw back in his eyes. 

“I don’t really think it’s important to go into all the details but back in high school… I didn’t have a lot of friends. All of my friends were on the volleyball team and at the time most of them were not people I’d call friends, mostly because I didn’t think they thought of me as friends.” Akaashi pursed his lips for a moment before continuing. “The girl who was my best friend since we were children betrayed my trust and it hurt a lot but now that I can look back on the time more evenly, I’m realizing how my teammates– how my friends stood by me.” 

“That’s terrible,” Bokuto said. “I mean the betraying thing. The standing by you part was really good.” 

“High school wasn’t a great time for me,” Akaashi admitted, “But I’m past that now and I’d like to think it made me stronger.” 

“I don’t know if it made you stronger,” Bokuto said, “But you seem pretty strong to me.” 

“Thanks, Bokuto. Coming from someone like you, that means a lot.”

“Someone like me?” Bokuto blinked, looking genuinely confused in a way that Akaashi hadn’t expected. 

“Bokuto, you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met,” Akaashi told him, deciding to lay out his thoughts plainly even though he felt a little vulnerable doing so. “You’re a single father of a two-year-old who works three jobs and is also studying physical therapy. You’ve had people be pretty shitty to you and yet you’re so nice to everyone. You’re like Keiko, nothing can really knock you down. Not for long, anyway.”

Bokuto laughed, though it was an almost thoughtful laugh. “I get knocked down plenty, a lot of times by myself.” Bokuto stopped laughing, looking at Akaashi with soft eyes. “But that does mean a lot. Thank you.”

Akaashi wasn’t sure what to say to that thank you or what to do with that soft look so he just nodded, the two of them falling back into a comfortable silence.

Akaashi didn’t know what to make of Bokuto just yet, he still felt a little trepidation about trusting him fully, but he was quickly coming to agree with Keiko’s analysis of him. 

He was kind, he was strong, and he could set the world on fire if he wanted.

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

“Are you alright?” Bokuto asked Akaashi, who had been fidgeting with his fingers more than usual since the got to the café where they were supposed to meet Kuroo and Kenma. 

“Hmm?” Akaashi seemed to realize why Bokuto had asked, his hands falling to his sides. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Bokuto asked, unconvinced by Akaashi’s answer. “You don’t have to be nervous, Kuroo and Kenma are really nice.” 

“I’m okay, really.” Akaashi nodded at Bokuto reassuringly. For a moment it seemed like he wasn’t going to say anything else but then he turned away and added in a quiet, embarrassed voice, “I don’t really like meeting new people.” 

“Don’t worry, they’re good people,” Bokuto said before remembering that maybe telling someone who was worried to ‘not worry’ was a stupid idea. “And if you need to leave or anything, don’t worry about it, I get it.” 

“Thanks,” Akaashi said, his voice still quiet but now he sounded a little less embarrassed. 

Suddenly, Akaashi stood up straighter, taking a deep breath as he seemed to regain the composure Bokuto was used to seeing. Only a few moments after he did, Kuroo and Kenma rounded a corner. When they saw Bokuto, Kenma nodded to him and Kuroo waved a little more obviously than was necessary. 

“Hey, Bo,” Kuroo greeted. “And you must be Akaashi.” 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Akaashi said, taking the hand Kuroo reached out. Bokuto could tell they were both gripping the other’s hand with more force than was necessary as if they were in some sort of competition. “Are you Kuroo, then?”

“Yes, I’m Kuroo Tetsurou,” Kuroo said as he let go of Akaashi hand, turning to look at Kenma. 

“I’m Kenma, umm, Kozume Kenma,” Kenma looked at Akaashi with calculating eyes that Bokuto knew were not obvious to most people but which he’d seen many times before. “Everyone calls me Kenma.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Koz– Kenma.” Akaashi looked around for a moment before nodding to no one in particular. “Why don’t we go inside?” 

≒☼≓

“So, what do you do, Akaashi?” Kuroo asked once the four of them were settled with their drink. “You work for a florist, right?”

“Yes,” Akaashi agreed, taking a long sip of his coffee. He drank it black and Bokuto couldn’t help but cringe at the drink. “I do deliveries part time for my friend’s flower shop. But I’m also a graduate student.” 

“Graduate school, huh, sounds hard,” Kuroo mused. “I didn’t end up doing graduate school, though maybe I’ll go back in the future.” 

“It’s not too bad,” Akaashi said, though Bokuto was pretty sure that was a lie. He’d seen the stuff Akaashi was studying. “I’m only in my first year so it’s still just a lot of classes. Not much different than university for now. Once I start my research, it’ll be harder, but I think that might not be for another year and a half. It’s too difficult to do research and take care of two kids.”

“That’s right,” Kuroo said as if he didn’t totally know all this about Akaashi. Bokuto wasn’t sure if Kuroo was pretending not to know to be nice, to cover up the fact that Bokuto talked about Akaashi all the time, or because he was looking for some information Bokuto hadn’t given him. “Your nephews, right?”

“Yes.” Akaashi didn’t continue, looking at Kuroo with eyes that were almost daring. 

Kuroo paused but then seemed to decide something. Bokuto wasn’t sure what had just happened between Akaashi and Kuroo, but Kuroo went back to the topic of school after a pause that was just a beat long enough to be uncomfortable. 

“What do you study?” 

“I’m studying history, with a focus on familial history. I’m planning to do research into the place of gender in modern families.” 

“Interesting,” Kuroo said, nodding a little bit. “So you’re going to be researching gender roles?”

“Sort of, but I want to see how changes in societal views on things like same-sex parents or trans parents have affected families and affected people’s view on familial dynamics.” Akaashi smiled a little. “There are still quite a few shitty families out there, but there has been a shift in recent years towards the acceptance of ‘non-traditional’ families and I want to see if that has had an effect on what is considered a family.” Akaashi’s smile fell and he shrugged. “I mean, I have a lot of things I’m interested in about, really, family as it relates to LGBTQIA+ issues, but I’m trying to narrow it down to one topic otherwise it’ll be hard to find an advisor. My university has a few people studying familial history, which is more than most universities, but none of them are currently doing research into LGBTQIA+ issues with families. I think I might have to ask if I can work outside the history department.” Akaashi sighed. “I think I might have gone into the wrong field of research for what I’m interested in.” 

Kuroo blinked at Akaashi, seeming incredibly surprised by how much Akaashi had to say about his field. Bokuto felt a strange pride at the fact that Akaashi had been able to surprise Kuroo, though he wasn’t sure why that made him feel proud. 

“That sounds more like social science or gender studies,” Kenma said, looking interested in what Akaashi had to say. “I don’t know much about graduate school. Can you change departments?”

“I’m not sure, I’m going to be talking with my advisor after this year is over but having Kei and Akiteru is complicating things quite a bit.” Akaashi looked surprised for a moment before clarifying, “Not that I don’t like taking care of them, I just mean that it’s hard to figure out graduate school even without two little boys. I’m not really used to taking care of kids yet.”

“It gets easier,” Bokuto said with a smile. “Though some things get harder, I’m sure. I mean, I wouldn’t even know where to start with an eight-year-old.”

“I don’t really know either,” Akaashi told him, smirking a little. “I’m just lucky that Akiteru is a really good kid.”

“He’s a really good big brother,” Bokuto commented, both to Akaashi and to Kuroo and Kenma. “He always tries to take care of Kei.” 

“It’s really sweet,” Akaashi agreed. “But I worry about him sometimes. He’s always so happy even with everything going on with his parents.” 

The group was quiet, Akaashi blinking at them confusedly. 

“What?” Suddenly he seemed to realize something. “Oh. I never told you why my sister and brother-in-law went overseas.”

“I thought it was for work,” Bokuto said, unsure what he was missing here. 

“Keiko is working, but the reason they moved overseas is that my brother-in-law is very ill,” Akaashi explained. “He was given less than a year to live but they were able to find a promising treatment abroad. They didn’t want to uproot the boys, so they asked if I could take care of them. Our parents wanted to, but my mom had a bad fall recently and can’t really take care of two little boys.” Everyone remained quiet and Akaashi tilted his head to the side. “I thought I told you.”

“No,” Bokuto responded, feeling like he’d had the wind knocked out of him. “You didn’t tell me that. Oikawa said that they were working overseas, but that’s it.”

“Oh,” Akaashi said again. “I guess I didn’t realize it hadn’t come up.” 

“I’m sorry about that,” Kuroo said. “That has to be hard.”

“This treatment is promising,” Akaashi said, his voice falling a little. “I’m not always good at being hopeful, but I really believe he’ll be okay. Yamato—my brother-in-law—is a strong person. So is my sister. They’ll be okay.”  Akaashi shifted uncomfortably, seeming to realize this discussion had brought the mood down. “How about you two, what do you do?” 

“We work for The National Weather Service,” Kuroo explained. “I’m a forecaster.”

“And I’m a computer technician, I guess,” Kenma said with a shrug. “My job is a little nebulous.” 

“Huh,” Akaashi said, seeming surprised. “I didn’t expect that.” 

“Really?” Kenma asked.

“I mean that you two work for The National Weather Service. You don’t hear that a lot.” 

“We just like weather,” Kuroo said with a big grin. “And saving lives.”

“I mostly like computers,” Kenma amended, “Kuroo likes weather.” 

“Come on,” Kuroo complained, “you know you like weather too.”

“I like computer modeling and there’s a lot of that in meteorology,” Kenma explained, looking at Akaashi but seeming to be talking Kuroo. “It’s a pretty secure job, too. Who knows, in a few years we might not need forecasters, but we will need computers and people to run them.”

“Kenma, stop being mean,” Kuroo complained, making Bokuto laugh. 

“Well,” Akaashi said, a slight smile appearing on his lips. “Either way, that sounds interesting. I’ve never been very good with computers other than the basics. I’m more of a liberal arts person myself. I used to really like math but…” Akaashi seemed to be remembering something unpleasant as his face soured. But, instead of voicing his thought, he shook his head. “Well, in high school, it stopped being fun.”

“That’s too bad,” Kenma said. “I like math. It’s very comfortable. Math can’t be mean to you.”

“I guess that wasn’t my experience,” Akaashi responded, looking down into his empty coffee cup. “I’m going to get another coffee.” 

Without waiting for a response, Akaashi pushed his chair back and headed for the counter, leaving Bokuto alone with his friends.

“He’s skittish,” Kuroo commented. “Based on your description I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I think he was bullied in high school,” Kenma said. “That’s probably why he’s so nervous around us, Kuro.”

“How’d you figure that out so quickly?” Bokuto asked, glancing at Akaashi. 

“He basically just said it,” Kenma rolled his eyes. “You are both dense as hell.”

“He did tell me he didn’t have a lot of friends in high school,” Bokuto admitted. “I just thought it was because he’s sort of shy.” 

“He was probably bullied because of his sexuality or something,” Kenma mused. “It’s probably why he’s so passionate about studying LGBTQIA+ issues.”

Before Kenma could continue, Akaashi walked back to the table, setting down another black coffee. 

“How much coffee do you drink?” Bokuto asked, wondering if it was good for Akaashi to drink so much coffee. 

“Usually two or three cups in the morning,” Akaashi said, taking a sip. “Then usually three throughout the day. More if I need to study late.” 

“That’s a lot of coffee,” Kuroo said and Kenma snorted. 

“Kuro, you drink two or three cans of soda every day. At least Akaashi doesn’t drink as much sugar as you do.” 

Kuroo made an offended noise and Bokuto laughed loudly as Kuroo tried to defend himself. Out of the corner of his eye, Bokuto saw Akaashi bring his cup to his lips, almost hiding the fact that he seemed to be suppressing laughter. Bokuto thought Akaashi looked nice with that small, humored smile on his face and he promised himself he’d try and make Akaashi laugh more.

Bokuto didn’t know what it was like to be bullied, didn’t know what it was like to have your best friends betray your trust, and so he couldn’t really understand Akaashi that well, but he hoped he could make Akaashi’s life just a little brighter from then on. 

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢


	5. Skipping Stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bokuto and Akaashi spend even more time together.

Every day was starting to feel the same to Akaashi, though maybe not in a bad way. He woke up early—the worst part—and made himself some coffee. Then he drank at least two cups of coffee before Akiteru woke up at a far too early hour—usually between 6 and 6:30. Kei would sometimes wake up then and sometimes he would stay asleep for longer, it depended on the day.

Akaashi would cook breakfast for Akiteru and himself before getting Akiteru ready for the day. School didn’t start for him until 9:15, but Akaashi brought him to a before school program that started at around 8. It always took Akiteru a while to get ready, mostly because he insisted on doing it all himself and often he would forget something and Akaashi would have to remind him.

The school wasn’t far from Akaashi’s apartment, but they had to walk so it took about twenty minutes. That meant getting Kei out of bed and into a stroller at around 7:30 and they’d all head out by 7:40, though Akaashi liked to leave earlier than that.

Akaashi was still in his first year of graduate school and even though he had worked with his advisor to slow down his course schedule enough to allow for time to take care of the boys, Akaashi still had to go to classes. He had to study and he had to worry about passing tests in the not too distant future.

So, on days when he had class then Kei would go to daycare. He was still young and not quite ready for a more fulltime type of preschool so, for now, he was really just being taken care of for the hours when Akaashi couldn’t.

Most afternoons would consist of a quick lunch before going over to work at Oikawa’s. Some afternoons, he’d pick up Kei early and meet up with Bokuto for a playdate or bring him to work so Suga could play with him.

In the late afternoon, he’d pick up Akiteru and head home and both of them would sit at the table together and work on homework. Akiteru would finish before Akaashi and would usually play with Kei until dinner.

Not long after Akaashi made dinner and they ate, Kei would be put to bed. Sometimes Akaashi would do something with Akiteru until the boy’s bedtime but sometimes Akiteru would entertain himself while Akaashi studied more. After Akiteru was in bed, it would be more studying for Akaashi before he went to bed himself.

This morning, though, things were a bit different from the start. For one, Akaashi didn’t have class today and had been convinced by Bokuto that they should have an early playdate since they would both be busy for the next few weeks. The plan was to meet Bokuto for breakfast after Akaashi dropped Akiteru off at school.

It was a little past 6:30 when Akaashi realized Akiteru hadn’t gotten out of bed yet. Putting down his coffee—his third—Akaashi returned to the bedroom to wake the boy up.

“Akiteru,” Akaashi said quietly, shaking the boy lightly. “Time to wake up.”

“No,” was the unexpected response Akaashi received.

“Akiteru, you’ll be late for school.”

“No.”

“Akiteru…”

The boy sat up, looking at Akaashi with eyes that were nearly a glare.

“Fine.” He got out of bed, walking around his room slowly while he started to get ready for the day.

“I’ll start making breakfast,” Akaashi told him but Akiteru just glared at Akaashi again.

“No breakfast.”

“You have to eat breakfast.”

“No.”

“Akiteru, breakfast is really important.”

“Fine,” He responded and Akaashi suppressed a sigh before heading back to the kitchen.

Akaashi was used to Kei’s fussiness, but Akiteru was generally a very agreeable kid and this sort of grumpiness was new. By the time Akaashi finished making breakfast—it was just eggs and toast, he wasn’t exactly a chef—Akiteru had made his way into the kitchen, dressed but still looking unhappy. His hair was noticeably unbrushed, but Akaashi decided to wait until after breakfast to deal with that.

“Your eggs are bad,” Akiteru said through a mouthful of those said eggs. “Dad’s are better.”

“I know,” Akaashi agreed, a little shocked by the insult but not really bothered by it. Akiteru wasn’t wrong, after all. “Your dad is a really good cook.”

Akaashi wasn’t sure what response Akiteru had been looking for, but that wasn’t it because Akiteru got quiet after that, simply staring at his food as he picked at it. By the time they needed to finish getting ready for the day, Akiteru had only eaten about half his food but Akaashi let him be, not sure what to say about that anyway.

“Akiteru, can you go brush your teeth and hair while I wake up your brother?”

“No,” Akiteru said, crossing his arms.

“Akiteru, we’re going to be late for school if you don’t.”

“I don’t want to go to school.”

Akaashi blinked at Akiteru, uncertain for a moment what to say. Akiteru seemed to love school but this sudden shift worried him. Was Akiteru being bullied? Was he doing poorly in class?

“Akiteru, but you said you love school.”

“I want to go to school with Mom and Dad!”

“Akiteru, that’s not possible.”

“I want Mom and Dad!”

“Akiteru, I’m sorry, they’re not here right now.” Akaashi felt suddenly out of his depth. “Kei and I will bring you to school and–”

“No! You’re not Dad! I want Dad!” Big tears welled in Akiteru’s eyes, hovering there for a moment before falling as he lost any composure an eight-year-old could hope to possess. “I want Daddy!”

Akaashi had seen Keiko and Yamato deal with Kei’s occasional outbursts, but Akiteru had been so calm that there was no need for them to do so with him. But now, Akaashi had no idea what to do with this very upset Akiteru. He couldn’t even give the boy two options to pick from since what he wanted wasn’t something he could have. He had to have Akaashi because Akaashi was, unfortunately, the only family member Akiteru could be with right now.  

Finally, Akaashi decided to go with bribery of sorts.

“Akiteru, if you finish getting ready I’ll call Mom and Dad to talk to you. Does that work?”

Akiteru quieted down as he listened to Akaashi, his eyes still watery and his lips and shoulders still shaking. He thought for a moment about Akaashi’s offer and finally, he ducked his head and spoke softly.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Akaashi agreed. “You finish up and I’ll call them.”

Akaashi felt like he was standing on the edge, but he had to keep it together at least long enough to drop off Akiteru at school. He’d have to call the school to say Akiteru would be missing his before school program, but that was fine. First, he had to call Keiko.

The phone rang a few times before Keiko picked up.

“Keiji, is something wrong?” She sounded concerned, probably knowing that this was an odd time for Akaashi to call.

“Umm, yes? No. Umm…” Akaashi was doing his best to stay calm, but his older sister’s voice nearly threw him over the edge. “Akiteru is really upset. Can you guys skype with him? I think he’s really missing you both.”

“Keiji, are you okay?” Keiko asked as Akaashi heard her stand, probably going to get Yamato and her laptop.

“Yeah, just wasn’t really ready for Akiteru to have a meltdown like this.” Akaashi took a deep, shaky breath. “He’s probably upset that you guys are missing his birthday tomorrow.”

“That couldn’t have made him feel much better.” Keiko sighed. “I should have known this would happen. He tries to be such a good big brother but sometimes he forgets that he doesn’t always have to be happy. It’s sort of like how you always try to say you’re fine, even when you’re not.”

“I’m really fine, Keiko. I was just really surprised by his outburst. Once I take a few breaths, I’ll be fine.”

“Uncle Keiji,” Akaashi turned to see a demure-looking Akiteru waiting in the doorframe. “I’m done.”

“Thank you, Akiteru,” Akaashi said, doing his best to smile at Akiteru as he opened his own laptop. The moment he opened skype, Keiko hit the call button. “Your mom is calling right now.”

“Thank you,” Akiteru said, his voice quiet now that his anger had faded and his tears had stopped.

Keiko appeared on the screen and Akaashi hung up his phone.

“Keiko, I’ll leave Akiteru with you. I need to make a few calls.” Akaashi stood and motioned for Akiteru to take a seat in front of the computer. “There you go, Akiteru.”

Yamato appeared on screen just as Akiteru sat.

“Hey, big boy,” Yamato said. “Happy almost birthday.”

Without waiting, Akaashi retreated to the kitchen to make his call to the school. Once it was done, he let himself collapse against the kitchen wall. As he lowered himself to the ground, he pulled his knees to his chest protectively. He was trying his best not to cry, have a panic attack, or both. Just as he thought he was going to lose his grip, his phone buzzed.

_From Bokuto Koutarou: are we still on for this morning?_

_To Bokuto Koutarou: Something came up, can we move it back a little?_

_From Bokuto Koutarou: of course_

_From Bokuto Koutarou: is everything ok??_

_To Bokuto Koutarou: Just some trouble getting Akiteru out of bed today so he’s going to be late going to school. Can I text you when I know exactly when I’ll be ready?_

_From Bokuto Koutarou: of course! dont worry abt it_

_To Bokuto Koutarou: Thank you. I’ll text you soon._

Without waiting to see if Bokuto replied, Akaashi put his phone down and buried his face in his knees, letting himself cry until Kei started to fuss in the other room.

≒☼≓

When Akaashi was finally able to meet up with Bokuto—at Akaashi’s place, since it was easier for both of them given their two-year-olds—he had gotten more control over his face and emotions. Deep in the pit of his stomach, Akaashi could still feel the swirling uncertainty that had overtaken him that morning, but he had control over it for now.

After taking care of Kei, Akaashi had cleaned himself up—he looked terrible even after that, but it was better than nothing—and waited for Akiteru to finish talking to his parents. Akaashi was careful to not get stuck talking to his sister because he knew that if Keiko got to him at that moment, he’d cave again. Not many people could break Akaashi’s walls, especially when he’d built them as strongly as he had this morning, but Keiko made his walls look like nothing but cardboard and styrofoam and right now he didn’t need that. Akaashi had just barely been able to work himself through his own breakdown and he didn’t need to be dissected right now.

“Akaashi, is everything alright?” Bokuto asked the moment Akaashi opened the door, his face lined with worry. “You look terrible.”

“Thank you, Bokuto,” Akaashi said, hoping to sound properly sarcastic but also not so sarcastic that he came across as mean. Normally that line was easy for him to walk but today it was like he was trying to do it drunk and blindfolded. “Everything is fine.”

“Are you sure?” Bokuto asked, walking inside with Shouyou at his heels. Even Shouyou seemed to notice something was wrong as he looked quietly between Akaashi and Bokuto. “Akiteru doesn’t usually have trouble getting up, does he?”

“No, but he was a bit upset this morning,” Akaashi hoped he was walking the line between calmness and flippancy. He hoped that his own breakdown this morning didn’t show up in his every motion and word. “It’s his birthday tomorrow, so I think he was missing his parents more than usual.” Akaashi turned to look at Shouyou, trying and failing to muster a smile. “Hello, Shouyou, Kei is in the living room if you want to go play with him.”

“Okay,” Shouyou said, looking uncertain and like he wanted to say something else. In the end, he didn’t say anything and instead scurried into the other room.

“Akaashi,” Bokuto’s voice was soft but it seemed to hold a warning of sorts. “You can tell me if something is wrong. I know we don’t know each other that well, but you can trust me.”

“I know,” Akaashi said honestly because for as many doubts as he had, he found that he did trust Bokuto. He just wasn’t sure he trusted himself to talk about this morning without his recently constructed walls failing him. “Akiteru just had a meltdown this morning and I wasn’t expecting it.”

“That’s not why you’re upset,” Bokuto said, his face serious and his eyes full of a wisdom Akaashi didn’t expect. “Why are you upset?”

Akaashi hated how much Bokuto was like Keiko. He hated how the way Bokuto talked made him want to open up and spill his heart. He hated how safe he felt because he knew how easy it was for safety to lead to ruin.

He’d felt safe when he told Kaori and Airi he was a boy and not a girl, but Airi had snatched that safety away in a single weekend. Akaashi had gotten used to trusting people again only recently and that was only after around three years of Oikawa and Suga working hard to convince him that most people could be trusted.

Bokuto was different. Bokuto wore his heart of his sleeve. After only four months, Akaashi could already see that. Bokuto was free with his emotions, good and bad. Usually, those emotions were good, but even when he was upset about something, he very easily told Akaashi about it. He didn’t fear what others could do with his emotions even though he’d been hurt before, and by his family no less.

When Akaashi talked to Keiko, he felt like he was fifteen again and hidden in his closest after the most recent unfortunate bullying incident. When he talked to Bokuto he felt like he was fifteen again, ready to spill his heart to his two best friends in the entire world.

“It’s stupid,” Akaashi decided on trust. Decided that he would never find out if he could trust Bokuto if he didn’t take the leap. And he wasn’t fifteen anymore. He was an adult—a young one, but still—and he could deal with anything Bokuto could throw at him.

“If it’s what you’re feeling, it’s not stupid.”

The genuineness of Bokuto’s words struck Akaashi and he caved, letting himself fall into a kitchen chair, Bokuto following suit and sitting across from him.  

“Akiteru was really upset this morning and I just… I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea how I could possibly help him and it scared me. I broke down too. I just– I have no clue what I’m doing and I’m so afraid I’m going to fail these boys.”

“Akaashi…” Bokuto seemed to be thinking of what to say, what he could say. “You’re not going to fail them.”

“But I might! I don’t know what I’m doing. Kei is so tiny and fragile and I knew that but Akiteru is too and I can’t take care of them both. I should have moved home with them, let my parents do the parenting. I should never have assumed I could do this! I’m not their father and I’m not their mother and I don’t know how to care for them.” Akaashi gritted his teeth. Even though he decided to be truthful with Bokuto, he hated the feeling of baring his soul. It just didn’t feel great. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Akaashi,” Bokuto said, his voice firm. “You’re doing the best you can, right?”

“My best isn’t good enough.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Fine, yes, I’m doing my best,” Akaashi answered, feeling suddenly annoyed. “But my best isn’t enough. These boys deserve more than my best!”

“Akaashi, let me let you in on a little secret, none of us have any fucking clue what we’re doing.” Akaashi was taken aback by the heat in Bokuto voice. Even Bokuto looked a little surprised by it and when he continued, his voice was a little softer. “I know a little bit about taking care of a baby, but I don’t know everything. I don’t know how to take care of an eight-year-old, I’ve never done it before. Maybe your sister knows how to take care of Kei since she already took care of Akiteru but she’s not an expert on kids. She’s never raised a ten-year-old or a fifteen-year-old. Your parents raised two kids so they know more, but Akiteru and Kei aren’t you and Keiko so even they wouldn’t know everything.”

Bokuto sighed, his entire face softening and he seemed to be trying to collect his thoughts.

“When I first brought Shouyou home from the hospital I was pretty convinced I’d made a terrible mistake. There was a part of me that was convinced that I’d end up hurting him accidentally. I had wanted to raise him but suddenly I realized I had no clue what I was doing. I had a bag of supplies for, maybe, a week. I had a second-hand crib from Kenma’s parents and second-hand clothes from Kuroo’s family. I was so scared and lost. I fell apart that first night. I put Shouyou in his crib and I just sat on the floor crying and shaking. I had one job and had put my education on hold. I couldn’t play volleyball anymore. I had a newborn and I was all alone.”

Bokuto reached across the table to softly touch Akaashi’s hand.

“But I wasn’t alone and neither are you. You have your friends and your family. You have me. I have Kuroo and Kenma and now so do you too. I’m not alone and neither are you. This is scary and hard, but you’ll never be alone.”

Sudden tears pricked Akaashi’s eyes and he reached up to rub them away, not expecting any of Bokuto’s words.

“I know,” he said finally. “Thank you for reminding me.”

Bokuto laughed, looking suddenly embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Don’t give me all the credit, I’ve had to have the same thing banged into my head by my friends plenty of times. Kuroo has said it countless times and even some of my friends who don’t live around here have had to remind me.” Bokuto smiled sheepishly at Akaashi. “You’ll be okay and so will Akiteru, I promise.”

“Thank you,” Akaashi said again, liking the safety he felt even if it still scared him.

“Don’t mention it,” Bokuto smiled. “Now, let’s make some awesome plans for Akiteru’s birthday tomorrow.”

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

“I’m going to fail this test,” Bokuto complained, letting his face fall onto the textbook open in front of him. It was about a month after Akiteru’s birthday and finals had arrived too quickly, like usual. “Just leave me to my fate.”

“Stop being dramatic,” Akaashi sighed, looking up from his research paper. “You just need to study more.”

“I’ve been studying for this one test for, like, two days straight. I swear to god, this professor wants us to fall.”

“I doubt that.”

“He does! He hates me too.”

“Again, I doubt that.”

Bokuto just made some more annoyed sounds, obviously not agreeing with Akaashi’s view on the subject. After a few moments of Bokuto grumbled to himself, he glanced up at Akaashi.

“How are you so focused?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s so easy for you.”

“I just do it,” Akaashi said with a shrug. “It’s studying.”

“Yeah, and it’s super boring.” Bokuto picked himself off the table to look back at his book. “Like I just don’t understand how you can work nonstop like this.”

Akaashi shrugged again, “I’ve always been good at studying. The faster I do it, the faster it gets done.”

“Stuff not getting done is sort of my thing, though,” Bokuto joked. “Haven’t you ever missed a deadline or forgot to hand something in?”

Akaashi looked at Bokuto like he was a lunatic.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“I’ve handed in less than satisfactory work before, but I’ve never, just, not handed something in.” Akaashi shook his head. “That would make me too anxious.”

“I’ve never been particularly anxious, I guess,” Bokuto responded. “Can’t pay attention for shit, though.”

“I guess neither of us is very good at school, then,” Akaashi commented. “When I was in middle school I couldn't give any sort of oral presentation because I would get so anxious I could barely speak. When I was even younger, I used a notebook to write or draw what I needed when I got too anxious to speak and my family didn’t know what to do.”

“Wow, that sounds pretty bad,” Bokuto commented, looking at Akaashi with poorly disguised concern.

“It was, I guess, but I’m much better now.” Akaashi shrugged again, seeming to find comfort in the gesture. Bokuto could understand that a little, he often did the same with laughter, even at times when laughter wasn't ideal. “Medicine and therapy work wonders.”

Akaashi looked at Bokuto, opening his mouth to speak but then, seeming to think better, he shut his mouth and looked down at his laptop.

“What?” Bokuto asked, unwilling to let that go. “What were you going to say?”

“I was going to say you should think about going to a doctor. Maybe there's a reason you have trouble concentrating.”

“I don't really have the money for that.”

“That's why I didn't say anything.”

“Oh,” Bokuto blinked a few times. He always forgot that most people had better filters than him.

After he thought for a while about what he should say, Bokuto decided to simply change the subject.

“Akaashi, can we do something else for a little? I’m so bored.”

“You can go play with Shouyou and Kei, if you want,” Akaashi pointed out. “But I’m really getting somewhere with this paper so I need to keep writing.”

Bokuto made an annoyed sound and flopped down on the table, whining at Akaashi in the hopes that that would somehow win him over.

“Please! Can’t we get something to eat or something?”

Akaashi looked up from his computer, eyebrows raised higher than Bokuto thought was natural or necessary.

“I can’t believe you’re older than me.”

“That’s what Kenma always says to Kuroo and me,” Bokuto said with a quick laugh.

“Kenma does seem to be the only one of you guys with any sense.” Akaashi went back to typing. “Should I call Kuroo and Kenma to pick you up? You seem like you need a nap.”

“Akaashi, you’re being mean!” Bokuto shouted, Akaashi smiling slightly at his complaint. “Kuroo and Kenma aren’t my parents.”

“They sure seem like they are.”

If he thought about it, Bokuto guessed that they could be a bit parental but that was mostly because Kuroo liked to point out that he was older than Bokuto even if they were in the same year. Even when Bokuto tried to make a joke about Kuroo being held back it usually fell flat since Bokuto had nearly been held back in fourth grade.

“What about Oikawa and Suga? Are they your parents, then?”

Akaashi seemed to think for a moment, looking away from his computer screen for a split second before his attention returned to his work. “I guess they think so. I let them believe that.”

Out of ways to try and make fun of Akaashi, Bokuto fell silent for a long time. He watched Akaashi type, the small smile from earlier disappearing into a concentrated frown. After almost ten minutes of silence, Bokuto decided the best course of action would be to try and make Akaashi laugh.

“Knock, knock.”

Akaashi looked up at Bokuto, seeming to try and decide if answering was worth it.

“Who’s there?”

“Who.”

“Who who?”

“Are you an owl?” Bokuto asked, barely able to keep himself from laughing at his own joke.

Akaashi, though, just looked at him like he was an idiot before sighing and looking back at his work. Not that Bokuto would be so easily dissuaded.

“What kind of books do owls read?”

“What kind?” Akaashi asked, not looking up this time.

“Hoo-dunnits.” Bokuto laughed to himself even though he was disappointed by Akaashi’s lack of even a smile.

After a long silence, a smile crept back onto Bokuto’s lips.

“Hey, Akaashi.”

“Yes, Bokuto?”

“What does a well-educated owl say?”

Akaashi didn’t respond, staring intently at his computer as he seemed to try to ignore Bokuto.

“Whom.”

Akaashi looked up a Bokuto, his eyes narrowed and his lips pursed. After a few moments of Bokuto thinking Akaashi might murder him for that joke, a smile spread across his lips and he slapped a hand over his face, his body shaking with laughter.

A huge smile spread onto Bokuto lips and he laughed loudly, contrasting Akaashi’s nearly silent laughter.

Akaashi brought his other hand up to his face, covering his face completely as he laughed. Just as Bokuto thought it was going to die down, Akaashi took a deep breath and then let out a loud snort, making Bokuto laugh even harder. Akaashi let his hands fall, glaring at Bokuto even though he couldn’t seem to stop his laughter either.

“That was such a stupid joke,” Akaashi said through laughter as he continued to glare at Bokuto, his face red from either embarrassment or from laughter, though Bokuto wasn’t sure which one.

“You laughed, though!” Bokuto said triumphantly.

“I guess I did,” Akaashi agreed, his laughter finally dying down but his smile still in place.

“I win, then!”

“I wasn’t aware we were playing a game.”

“We were.”

“Okay, you won,” Akaashi allowed, looking back at his computer. “Now I need to get back to work.”

“But Akaashi, I won,” Bokuto whined, laying out across the table. “We should do something fun!”

Akaashi looked at Bokuto through narrowed eyes.

“Do you know what else the educated owl says?”

“What?” Bokuto asked, perking up.

“Get to work.”

Akaashi looked back down at his computer and Bokuto let out a sound of loud complaint. Despite his complaining, though, he did go back to studying after a few more minutes of complaining.

The whole time, he could see that Akaashi still had a humored smile stuck to his lips and even if he hadn’t been able to get out of studying, Bokuto still knew he’d gotten a pretty good outcome.  

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

Most graduate students didn’t have what would be traditionally thought of as a summer vacation. Unfortunately for Akaashi, he wasn’t most graduate students right now. Right now he had to young boys to take care of, one who was now out of school for the summer.

That was why Akaashi’s plans got pushed even further back as he had to postpone his studies until Akiteru went back to school in September. He didn’t mind that much, he cared about the boys, but it was a little hard to watch his classmates starting their research when he knew that would probably not be possible for him as long as he was taking care of his nephews.

The upside to this problem was the fact that he got to spend more time not just with the boys, but also Oikawa and Suga. And Bokuto.

Since Bokuto was still an undergraduate student, he had an actual summer off. He’d offered to look after the boys more often so Akaashi could keep working on his graduate degree, but Akaashi just couldn’t imagine asking that of someone he knew for only around six months.

So they were on break and were, therefore, able to spend a lot more time together, much to the interest of Akaashi’s friends. Even thought Akiteru wasn’t out of school yet—it was late May— Akaashi and Bokuto, along with their respective two-year-olds, had been spending a lot of time together. When Akaashi told Oikawa that he and Bokuto had plans to do this or that, he’d give Akaashi a suggestive smile, all while pretending he wasn’t. Akaashi usually just rolled his eyes and tried to pretend the look didn’t turn his cheeks a little red.

It was a beautiful May day when Bokuto, Akaashi, Kei, Shouyou, and Akiteru arrived at the nearby park, Bokuto pushing a small bike while holding a helmet under his arm.

A few days earlier, Akaashi had made mentioned of the fact that Akiteru didn’t know how to ride a bike yet because he was really afraid of falling. Akaashi’s parents had gotten the boy a bike and helmet for his birthday but Akiteru refused to ride it. Since it had been late winter still, Akaashi hadn’t pushed the point. But once Bokuto found out that Akaashi still hadn’t pushed the point, he decided to take the teaching upon himself.

Akaashi was honestly glad because bike riding was a lot like studying: he was good at it but honestly had no idea where he acquired the skill. Based on his lack of coordination as a child, he honestly had no clue how he ever was able to ride successfully.

“Don’t worry, Akiteru, riding a bike is super easy.” Bokuto smiled widely at the boy. “I promise.”

Akiteru looked at Bokuto with distrusting eyes but didn’t comment. Akaashi hoped Akiteru would have a good time today.

“Kei, Shouyou, why don’t we go play over there?” Akaashi asked, taking both boys by the hand while nodding at Bokuto.

Akaashi found a spot in the grass to set their bags down, laying out a blanket for Kei and Shouyou to sit on, even though he expected Shouyou would be up and running soon enough. Akaashi pulled out some toys for the boys before turning his attention back to Bokuto and Akiteru.

Akiteru looked like he was trying his best not to be terrified of everything that was happening. Thanks to Bokuto’s complete lack of volume modulation when he was outside, Akaashi could hear most of what he was telling the boy. Akiteru’s replies were too quiet to hear, but Akaashi could put together most of it without them.

“I swear I won’t let go,” Bokuto was telling him, looking at the boy very seriously. “I never break a promise.”

Akaashi was worried for a little that Bokuto would break his promise, losing any trust Akiteru had for him, but he was proven wrong when Bokuto finally got Akiteru going on the bike, one hand firmly gripping the back of the bike and the other hand hovering at Akiteru’s back just in case.

Akaashi watched fondly as Akiteru was able to pedal a little bit, apparently held upright by Bokuto’s strength alone.

“See! You did great!” Bokuto gave Akiteru a big smile. “Let’s pedal faster now!”

Akaashi smiled to himself, turning back to Kei and Shouyou. Shouyou was trying to get Kei to pay attention to him, but Kei kept turning his head to ignore Shouyou. Even if Kei was being a little mean, Akaashi couldn’t help but laugh.

Letting out a long breath, Akaashi folded his legs under himself so he was sitting a little higher.

“Do you two want to play a game?”

“Yes!” Shouyou shouted, running to stand at Akaashi’s feet.

“Kei?”

Kei looked liked he was going to refuse but after a few moments of staring at Akaashi, he stood shakily and looked at Akaashi.

Akaashi grabbed one of the soft balls laying on the blanket, looking at Kei first.

“Okay. One, two, three, catch.” He threw the ball but Kei didn’t quite close his hands in time, the ball hitting him in the chest. As he tried to recover, he nearly fell but was able to keep his balance. The ball rolled back to Akaashi and Kei looked at him like he was challenging Akaashi to just try to hit him again. “Try again. One, two, three, catch.”

This time, Kei’s hands closed at the right time and he grabbed the ball, Akaashi clapping for him.

“Good job,” Kei smiled, looking proud of himself as he held the ball. “Can you throw it to Shouyou?”

Kei looked at Shouyou then threw the ball back to Akaashi.

“Okay, I’ll throw it to him.” Shouyou looked ready for the ball. “Okay, Shouyou. One, two, three, catch.”

Like Kei, Shouyou had a little trouble the first time, but, unlike Kei, he didn’t keep his balance and ended up tumbling over, the ball rolling to Kei.

“Are you okay, Shouyou?”

“Okay!” Shouyou responded, popping to his feet with the speed of a child who often fell over. “Again!”

“Kei, can you throw Shouyou the ball?”

Again, Kei threw it to Akaashi—well, more at the ground in front of Akaashi—and he threw it to Shouyou.

“One, two, three, catch.” This time Shouyou caught the ball, but again he lost his balance and tipped backward.

“Can you throw to Kei?” Akaashi asked when Shouyou sat up.

“Yep!”

Shouyou attempted an overhand throw at Kei and for a moment Akaashi thought he’d have to stop the ball before it pegged the younger boy in the head, but Shouyou’s aim was off and, like with Kei’s throws, it landed in front of Kei.

Their game of catch continued much like that—Akaashi to Kei, Kei to Akaashi, Akaashi to Shouyou, Shouyou to Kei, Kei to Akaashi, and Akaashi to Kei again—Akaashi’s attention drifting back to Akiteru and Bokuto every so often. Akaashi found himself smiling a little every time he looked up at the pair.

Even as Akaashi and the babies changed from game to game, he found his attention drifting back to Bokuto and Akiteru, who was making steady if slow progress on his bike. Each time he practiced peddling, Akiteru would look at Bokuto seriously and say something—Akaashi assumed it was “don’t let go”—and Bokuto would respond with an assurance that he wouldn’t let go.

That went on for almost two hours when Akaashi finally started to think it might be time to bring the babies home for a nap. But watching the concentration that was slowly building on Akiteru’s face made Akaashi pause. After all, Shouyou and Kei seemed fine for now so he let them continue to play with their cars, letting his attention wander more fully to Akiteru and Bokuto.

“Okay, I want you to pretend I’m not holding on this time,” Bokuto said. “Peddle as hard as you can.”

Akiteru was facing Akaashi now so he was able to more or less read his lips as he spoke.

“You better not let go.”

“I would never let you fall,” Bokuto assured, his change in phrasing ringing through Akaashi’s ears even if Akiteru didn’t seem to notice. “I promise.”

Akiteru seemed to accept that and after a small push from Bokuto, he was off peddling. Bokuto jogged near him, but it was obvious his hand was no longer on the bike. After a few feet, Akiteru seemed to notice something different and he glanced behind him. For a moment panic struck through his face and he started to totter. Before he could fall, though, Bokuto circled his arms around Akiteru, lifting him away from the bike before it could crash to the ground with him on it.

“You let go!” Akiteru yelled as Bokuto put him down, seemingly unfazed by Akiteru’s look of anger.

“You did it!” He shouted, raising his arms in celebration. “You rode the bike!”

Akiteru was quite for a long time, obviously shocked. After a moment of looking between Bokuto, the bike, and himself Akiteru seemed to finally come to terms with everything that happened.

“I knew you could do it,” Bokuto added, a wide smile spreading across his face as he brought his hands down onto Akiteru’s shoulders, “You can do anything now!”

Akiteru considered everything happened then finally let himself smile at Bokuto.

“I rode the bike.”

“You did!” Bokuto turned to look at Akaashi, his eyes nearly closed he was smiling so widely. Unexpectedly, Akaashi felt his heart skip a beat when Bokuto looked at him. “Did you see that?”

“Yeah,” Akaashi responding, smiling at Akiteru. “You did really great.”

“He really did,” Bokuto laughed loudly, turning back to Akiteru. “Let’s get some ice cream to celebrate!”

Akaashi couldn’t really understand how he hadn’t noticed until now how beautifully captivating Bokuto was when he smiled.

“Can we, Uncle Keiji?” Akiteru asked.

“Please, Uncle Keiji,” Bokuto mirrored jokingly, unintentionally causing a blush to rise in Akaashi’s cheeks.

“Okay, fine,” Akaashi said because he suddenly realized he was in too deep and he would have agreed to anything Bokuto asked at that moment. “Let’s get ice cream.”

Bokuto let out a loud celebratory woot and Akaashi knew for sure he was a dead man.

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢


	6. Transitions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shouyou has a birthday and Akaashi sees some old teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: this chapter is the one with the accidental dead naming I mention in the tags.

Bokuto was really tired when he woke up early on Shouyou’s birthday, but he was glad to say that he’d successfully cleared his entire day so he could spend it with Shouyou. Today happened to be one of his days off and he’d worked really hard to finish all the work he needed to get done for his two online jobs. 

The first thing to be done was, of course, to get breakfast ready for Shouyou. He loved eggs so instead of the normal morning meal of cheerios, Bokuto went with scrambled eggs and some fruit. Strawberries were a little expensive, but Bokuto had found some half-priced strawberries the day before so Shouyou would get this special fruit for his birthday. 

Before Bokuto could even think about waking up Shouyou, the smell and sound of breakfast woke him up. His bed wasn’t far from the kitchen, after all, and Shouyou was a light sleeper despite Bokuto being a heavy sleeper and an even heavier snorer. Luckily, Shouyou had easily gotten used to Bokuto’s snoring, otherwise, he’d never get any sleep. 

“Dad!” Shouyou shouted, bouncing in his bed. “Good morning!” 

“Good morning, Shouyou,” Bokuto said with a laugh. “You can get out of bed.”

Shouyou had transitioned to a regular bed a few months earlier and his bed still had safety bars so that he wouldn’t roll out in his sleep, but it was easy for him to get out of bed once awake. Even so, he still tended to wait for permission to leave the bed. That was fine in the morning—Bokuto didn’t have to worry about what Shouyou might get into while he was asleep—but at night, if he had to use the bathroom he would usually wake Bokuto up to ask if he was allowed to go. At this point, Shouyou could generally go to the bathroom by himself, but it was hard for him to break the habit of asking to leave bed. Bokuto was trying to convince him he didn’t need to ask permission to get out of bed, but it was hard given how easy it was for Shouyou to simply wake Bokuto up. 

Shouyou came to stand next to Bokuto and, once he made sure the pan was turned in a way that it wouldn’t be accidentally flipped over, he reached down to pick up Shouyou. 

“Eggs!” Shouyou smiled widely, his eyes shining. “I like eggs!”

“I know, Sunshine, that’s why I’m making them. For your birthday.” Shouyou looked up at Bokuto, almost confused. “Happy birthday.” 

Shouyou looked confused for a moment then seemed to remember what birthdays were, his face lighting up. 

“It’s my birthday!” His statement was half a question and so Bokuto nodded.

“Yep, happy birthday.” 

“Birthday!” Shouyou seemed to be thinking hard for a few moments before asking, “What do we do?”

“Have fun,” Bokuto explained. “We can do lots of stuff together. It’s really nice out. After breakfast, we can go to the park. Later, Uncle Kenma and Uncle Kuroo have a surprise.” 

“A surprise? What’s the surprise?” 

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you,” Bokuto laughed, “Now, are you ready for breakfast?”

Shouyou shouted out an affirmative but wordless response and Bokuto smiled fondly at the boy as he set him down. It seemed like it would be a good day. 

≒☼≓

First, they took the train to a bigger park a little out of town. Shouyou loved the train, so he spent the entire time staring out the window and making amazed sounds every time they passed anything even a little interesting. Bokuto found he kept having to remind Shouyou to hold onto the railing so that he wouldn’t topple over.

“Shouyou, what do you want to do?” Bokuto asked after they set up a blanket in the open grass where many families were relaxing. 

“Ball!” Shouyou exclaimed, bouncing in place. “I want to throw!” 

“Okay, baby,” Bokuto smiled at Shouyou before digging around one of their too many bags. Bokuto always overpacked, even for short half day trips. “Here. Do you want to play catch?”

“Yes!” Shouyou took the ball and ran out into the grass, Bokuto following him with a laugh. “Daddy, catch!” 

Shouyou threw the ball overhand, causing the ball to only make it halfway to Bokuto before it slammed into the ground, rolling the rest of the way to Bokuto.

“Good throw! Now catch!” 

Shouyou had a little difficulty catching the ball, but he was able to and he smiled widely at Bokuto.

“I caught it!” 

“Amazing, Sunshine, now throw it back.”

They played catch for a while, throwing the ball back and forth with varying degrees of success. Shouyou seemed to be getting better at throwing and was actually able to get the ball to Bokuto the majority of the time. Shouyou did get hit in the face with the ball a few times, but he would just laugh and continue playing. Only after about fifteen minutes did the nearby playground catch Shouyou’s eyes.

“Daddy, can I play on the toys?” He asked, pointing to the playground. 

“Of course,” Bokuto smiled at Shouyou softly. “Be careful and just shout if you need anything.”

“Okay!” 

Bokuto smiled as he watched Shouyou run over to the playground, quickly scrambling up a ladder with surprising ease. Bokuto knew three years weren’t that many in the grand scheme of things, but Shouyou was getting so much older. Only a year ago, he’d been so different. Two years ago, he’d barely had enough of a personality to really be considered a person. 

Bokuto saw Shouyou stopping near the top of the jungle gym to look out over the park. When he spotted Bokuto, he waved wildly until Bokuto returned the wave. Then he turned and started to chat with the other little kids on the playground. 

Bokuto let out a sigh, letting himself relax. It wasn’t long before he found himself unusually tired, his mind drifting until he was, in fact, asleep.

≒☼≓

When Bokuto woke up, it was in a partial panic as he realized how irresponsible he was being. He started to look around for Shouyou, already convinced the boy had been kidnapped, only to find him curled up on their blanket, also asleep.

Bokuto sighed and smiled before realizing that the music he was hearing—music that had been a staple of his vague dreams—was actually his phone. 

“Hello?” Bokuto answered, a little groggy. 

“About time you answered the phone,” Kuroo responded. “You’ve been silent for like two hours.”

“Two hours!” Bokuto looked down at this watch, letting out a noise of surprise that easily woke Shouyou. “We fell asleep, I didn’t even notice the time.”

Kuroo laughed. “Of course you two fell asleep. Well, get your asses over here as soon as you can. Everyone else is already here.”

“Sorry!” Bokuto shouted into the phone, awarding him more laughter from Kuroo. “We’ll be there soon.”

“Daddy?” Shouyou asked, still obviously groggy from sleep.

“Hey, Sunshine, didn’t mean to fall asleep on you. Or wake you up. Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, I played with new friends. They were really… fun.” 

“That’s great,” Bokuto stood and stretched. “Well, it’s almost time for your surprise, so why don’t we get ready to go over to Kenma and Kuroo’s?” 

“My surprise!” Shouyou exclaimed, his excitement showing he’d completely forgotten about the surprise. “Let’s go!” 

“First, we need to put stuff away, but then we can go.” Bokuto leaned over and kissed Shouyou on the forehead. “I love you, Baby.”

≒☼≓

When they arrived at Kuroo and Kenma’s apartment, Shouyou was practically vibrating out of his skin. Bokuto was actually a little worried he might be disappointed by the surprise at this rate. He was also worried that Shouyou might end up being scared by the surprise. Bokuto just wasn’t sure anymore that a surprise for a three-year-old had been a good idea, but now it was too late to worry about that. 

Bokuto only knocked once before Kenma opened the door, smiling at Shouyou.

“Hey there, Shouyou, happy birthday.” 

“Kenma! Hello!” Shouyou returned Kenma’s smile with his own 100-watt smile. “What’s the surprise?” 

Kenma chuckled, “Come inside.”

When the door opened fully, it revealed how packed the entire front room was with a least ten people, though probably it was more. 

“Happy birthday, Shouyou,” they all said, smiling brightly at the little boy who looked stunned and more than a little confused as well. 

“For me?” Shouyou asked, looking up at Bokuto.

“Of course, it’s your birthday. Happy birthday.”

Finally, Shouyou seemed to understand and his smile widened. 

“Thank you!” 

≒☼≓

The party went well. Everyone was able to come, even a couple of old teammates who usually were stuck in their hometown or on the other side of the country.

Everyone played games with Shouyou and they all ate lots of food, culminating in a cake. Bokuto hadn’t been involved in the cooking or baking, but apparently, Iwaizumi and Suga had saved the day by being the only two people who were good at cooking and baking. 

After eating cake had been present time and Bokuto was surprised by the number of gifts Shouyou received. He’d told people they didn’t need to bring gifts but it appeared that everyone had disregarded him. 

Bokuto, Kuroo, and Kenma’s old teammates who came—Konoha, Sarukui, Yaku, and Lev—had all pooled their funds and knowledge of children together to get Shouyou a giant art kit which Shouyou was barely dissuaded from opening the minute he saw it. 

Suga and Daichi got him some books about growing up and being nice, which Bokuto guessed would be more important in the next year or so since he was going to enroll Shouyou in preschool. There was also a book in there about differences with an LGBT-theme that Bokuto appreciated. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi presented Shouyou with a six-piece dress up set, complete with costume box. Oikawa said he was the one to pick out the outfits and thought they gave a good range of options—princess, knight, doctor, generic sports star, fireman, and chef—which Shouyou would have a blast with. 

Kuroo and Kenma bought Shouyou a scooter, saying he was too cool for a tricycle so he had to move up to a scooter until he could ride a real bike. Even though Shouyou definitely didn’t understand Kenma and Kuroo’s—well, Kuroo’s—reasoning, he was excited to be able to ride it around. 

Finally was Akaashi, Kei, and Akiteru. Kei and Akiteru each had a small wrapped package.

“Happy birthday, Shouyou,” Akiteru said with a smile, handing over his package before nudge his brother. 

“Happy… birthday,” Kei said, handing the package over too.

Once they were opened, they were both revealed to be plushies. One was a black cat like the one Bokuto and Shouyou often saw on the way to Akaashi’s apartment. The other was a cute, very round, brown owl that Bokuto briefly considered stealing because it was so adorable. 

“I knew he’d like the cat,” Akaashi explained to Bokuto. “I guess I hoped he’d like the owl.” 

“Thank you!” Shouyou said to Akiteru and Kei before turning to Akaashi. “Thank you, Akaashi!” 

“Happy birthday, Shouyou, I have one more thing for you.”

“You really didn’t have to get so much.”

“Akiteru and Kei wanted their own presents,” Akaashi explained to Bokuto even as he was handing over another present to Shouyou. “And I was being selfish and wanted to give one too.” 

When the wrapping was off, it was revealed that Akaashi’s gift was a simple wooden box. It was beautifully painted to mimic a kind of night sky that Bokuto and Shouyou had never seen living in the city. It had a simple latch that had no lock on it but could accommodate one if wanted. 

“You’re still young,” Akaashi said, kneeling down next to Shouyou. “So maybe it’ll be a few years before you want to use this, but I wanted to get it for you.”

“What is it?” Shouyou asked. 

“It’s just a box,” Akaashi said. “But sometimes having a box is what you need. You can put things you like in here. Or maybe one day you’ll have a diary and you’ll want to keep it safe. You can do whatever you want with the box, but it’s yours forever and it’ll stay with you as long as you want. My sister gave me a box like this when I was in middle school, and I still have it.”

Akaashi stood back up, glancing embarrassedly down at his feet. 

“I guess Shouyou is a little young for a gift like that, but I wanted him to have something like it. It’s hard to explain the feeling of having a little, safe box of your own, but mine got me through a lot.”

“I think it’s a really thoughtful give,” Bokuto said. “Even if he doesn’t understand it yet, I’m sure in the future he’ll suddenly have a use for it and he’ll be so, so happy to have it.” 

“Akaashi,” Shouyou said quietly, coming up to tug on Akaashi’s hand. When Akaashi looked up at him, Shouyou had a serious—as serious as a three-year-old could be—face on. “I don’t know this thing. I like it. Thank you.” 

Akaashi smiled at Shouyou with a soft smile that Bokuto knew Akaashi reserved for Akiteru and Kei. Now, though, Bokuto was noticing that Shouyou had been added to that roster.

“You’re too sweet,” Akaashi laughed, reaching down to pat Shouyou’s head. “Happy birthday, Shouyou.”

As Bokuto watched Shouyou run around the room to thank people and engage them in simple conversation, he felt the pang of sadness that he knew would get worse and worse the older Shouyou got. Still, he felt like this birthday might just have been a success and even if someone else said it wasn’t, Bokuto knew it was. No matter what, Shouyou was smiling, and that meant the world to Bokuto.

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

“No offense, but it’s insane that you’re friends with them,” Bokuto told Akaashi as they both sat in a quiet but busy café near the flower shop. 

They’d decided to get something to drink before Akaashi had to go pick Akiteru up. Kei and Shouyou were both with Suga today. According to Suga that was because he liked spending time with the boys and while that was true, Akaashi suspected it had more to do with the fact that Oikawa and Suga were doing their level best to get Akaashi and Bokuto alone together almost constantly. 

“Oikawa and Suga are not exactly very similar to you in personality. Like maybe if you were friends with Daichi and Iwaizumi first it would make more sense, but Oikawa and Suga?” 

“It wasn’t really by choice,” Akaashi admitted. “In my freshman year I went to a couple of meetings for an LGBTQIA+ group on campus and the two of them just sort of adopted me. I didn’t dress very well back then and they made it their personal mission to improve my wardrobe.”

“You didn’t dress well? I have a hard time believing that,” Bokuto said, making Akaashi roll his eyes.

Pulling out his phone, Akaashi dug through his pictures until he found one from early college that didn’t remind him of the time in his life when seeing his own reflection made him hate everything about himself. 

“See,” Akaashi said, showing Bokuto his phone. “My wardrobe was mostly sweatshirts and sweatpants, I didn’t know how to do my hair at all, and I rarely looked anyone in the eyes. There was really only one thing I was good at at the time and that was disappearing in a crowd.” 

“You look so young,” Bokuto exclaimed. “How old were you?” 

“Probably eighteen,” Akaashi mused, trying to remember when exactly the picture was from. “I didn’t know how to pick out my own clothes and I didn’t want to ask my parents or Keiko for help. The bagginess of the clothes was sort of a plus for me.”

“I can only imagine what a makeover from them would be like,” Bokuto laughed. “Though, it looks like they did a good job.”

Akaashi tried to pretend that Bokuto comment hadn’t made him blush, but it was hard to pretend that given how on fire his face was. 

“For all their faults, they’re pretty fashionable,” Akaashi agreed. “That said, if it wasn’t for Daichi and Iwaizumi, I probably wouldn’t have stuck around long enough to let them do any sort of makeover. So I guess in a way, I was friends with Iwaizumi and Daichi first because I definitely trusted them more. At the time Oikawa and Suga seemed wishy-washy and I didn’t really like that. Daichi and Iwaizumi were solid and unimpressed by most things in a way that I could appreciate.” 

“I wish I could have seen what it was like when you guys met,” Bokuto laughed again. “They’re a year above you, too, right?”

“Yeah, and Oikawa was the social media chair of the club so I really didn’t trust him.” 

“What, didn’t like Instagram?” 

“No, not at the time. Anything that can document my existence through pictures was pretty terrible for me.” 

Bokuto looked momentarily confused for reasons Akaashi couldn’t place but then the look was gone, Bokuto nodding. 

“I get it.” He paused to take a drink of his hot chocolate. “Did you guys ever do anything crazy?” 

“Crazy?” Akaashi tried to think of something crazy they’d done, but usually, he, Daichi, and Iwaizumi were able to talk Suga and Oikawa out of anything crazy they were trying to plan. “I can’t really think of anything.” 

“Come on, you’ve gotta’ have some sort of crazy story!” Bokuto insisted. “Like I remember how my freshman year, after the last game of the official volleyball season, the entire team decided that we needed to go see some new movie that was coming out at midnight. But we got lost on the way to the movie theater because none of us knew how to use the buses so we ended up on the completely wrong side of the city. In the end, we went back to one of the upperclassmen’s apartment and all got way too drunk. Then we decided to try and talk to ghosts so someone went to Walmart and bought an Ouija board. We were all terrified but nobody wanted to admit it, so we tried to use it. Nothing was happening but then one of the guys not playing accidentally leaned against the light switch, and we all screamed like we were being murdered. Even when we realized what happened, we were all so shaken up that we decided to get rid of the board.”

Akaashi couldn’t help but chuckle, a hand over his mouth as he waited for Bokuto to continue. 

“We didn’t know how to get rid of it but one guy said that you had to burn it and salt the ashes.”

“No,” Akaashi gasped, “you didn’t try to burn it, did you?”

Bokuto was laughing now too, “We took it to the bathroom and put it in the tub. Then we used a match to set it on fire. We’re really lucky we didn’t burn the place down, but in the end, we burned the board pretty well and then some got salt from the kitchen and dumped it onto the board.”

“God, you guys were idiots,” Akaashi said, snorting before his chuckle turned into a low laugh. “And that was only freshman year?” 

“We weren’t always that stupid,” Bokuto defended laughingly, “but I guess we usually were.”

“Yeah, I definitely don’t have any stories like that.”

“They don’t have to be stupid, just fun,” Bokuto’s smile faded and he gave Akaashi a pleading looking bordering on puppy-dog-eyes.

“I really don’t have much,” Akaashi insisted. “I think the strangest thing we ever did was during my junior year, Suga and Oikawa insisted we do something fun.”

“Well?” Bokuto asked expectantly and Akaashi sighed, caving to his big-eyed interest. 

“It was April and they would be graduating soon. It was pretty warm for April so Suga and Oikawa decided we were all going to go hiking, but they wanted to go really early in the morning so we go see the sunrise. The place they wanted to go was a long hike so we left at like midnight since the sun rose around six in the morning. We were not well prepared to go hiking, especially not in the middle of the night. Luckily, Iwaizumi had thought to print out a map of the area before we left so we didn’t get too lost in the end, but during the night part of the hike, we did get a little lost. We didn't make it to the top before sunrise but we did find a small pond in the hills that Suga and Oikawa decided we need to swim in.

Daichi, Iwaizumi, and I told them it was dangerous since we didn’t know anything about the pond but they weren’t going to take no for an answer. Suga threw Daichi into the pond, Oikawa picked me up and threw me in after him, and then Suga and Oikawa both dragged Iwaizumi into the pond. The water was freezing and we ended up watching the sunrise while in the pond.”

“How’d you get back?” Bokuto asked, wide-eyed. “Did you get lost?” 

“We were technically lost, but there was a pond on Iwaizumi’s map so we just sort of hoped that was this pond. Luckily, it was and we made it to the top of the mountain around seven in the morning. It took us about an hour and a half to get back because there was actually a pretty direct and clear trail, but we hadn’t seen it at night.” 

Bokuto leaned back in his chair, laughing brightly. His laugh seemed to echo in the quiet café and Akaashi couldn’t find it in himself to be worried about bothering the other patrons. Instead, he smiled at Bokuto, soft and maybe a little too fondly, but Bokuto couldn’t have seen that since his eyes were closed. Akaashi loved when Bokuto laughed like this. He’d noticed that Bokuto was the kind of person to laugh in all sorts of situations, including when he felt uncomfortable, but each laugh was so distinct that Akaashi was pretty good at telling the difference between them now. This head back, eyes closed, bright laughter was probably Akaashi’s favorite laughter from Bokuto, partially because it was the rarest type but also because it was undeniably infectious. 

“That’s amazing,” Bokuto said once his laughter died down. “I’m really glad you guys didn’t die on that mountain.”

“Me too,” Akaashi snorted. “I– umm…” 

Akaashi lost his train of thought when someone called from a nearby table. It was a familiar voice calling a familiar name but he didn’t want to deal with it right now. He decided it was probably nothing. 

“Sorry, I forgot what I was saying,” Akaashi admitted, “what did you say–?”

“Miya!” 

There was a young woman standing, bright-eyed and smiling next to Bokuto and Akaashi’s table. She had black hair and big, cute green eyes. After a few moments, Akaashi dragged his eyes up to look at her, taking only a moment to process the familiarity of her face and voice.

“Eri, it’s been a while,” Akaashi answered carefully. “How are you?” 

“I’m great! It’s been so long since I last saw you. Graduation, probably. How have you been?”  

“Good. I’m in graduate school now. Are you living in the city?” 

“Yep, me and Mako moved here a few months ago for her new job. You remember Mako, right?”Eri laughed. “Of course you do, you remember everyone.”

“Are you two still together?” 

“Yep!” Eri held out her hand, where there was a simple silver band embedded with one small diamond. “We got engaged a little before we moved here.” 

Eri smiled widely, turning to wave at someone at the counter who was carrying two drink. 

“Dragonfly, look who it is!”

In the time it took for Mako to walk over, Akaashi glanced at Bokuto and was surprised to find a bewildered look on his face. In a moment a lot of things fell into place and Akaashi was left with the distinct feeling that he’d never actually told Bokuto that he was trans.

It wasn’t that Akaashi thought anyone deserved to be given that information nor did he try to keep it a secret, but that wasn’t the issue here. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Bokuto, he just really thought he had. 

“Can you believe we’d run into Miya like this?” Eri asked when Mako arrived at the table.

Mako was just as tall and thin as she had been in high school, a slight—and more or less noncommittal—smile on her lips as she looked at Akaashi for a few moments before turning to her fiancée. Without a word, she punched Eri in the arm, hard enough that Eri looked surprised but not actually with any malice behind it. 

“His name is Keiji, stop using the wrong name.” 

All the color drained from Eri’s face and she looked horrified for a few moments before bowing deeply to Akaashi.

“I’m so so sorry, Keiji! I forgot! God, I didn’t mean to do that!” 

“It’s fine,” Akaashi said, “I knew you weren’t trying to be rude. We haven’t seen each other in years.” Eri stood up straighter, looking embarrassed but thankfully not apologizing anymore. Akaashi was never sure how to respond when people apologized, even if he was glad when they did. “How are you, Mako? Eri said you got a new job. And that you’re engaged. Congratulations on both.” 

“Thanks,” Mako looked at Bokuto. “Sorry, I’m sure Tulip didn’t ask your name.”

“Ah, Bokuto Koutarou.” Bokuto seemed to have gained more control over his surprise, but he was still obviously trying to put together what had just happened. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Mako Ootaki and this is my fiancée Eri Miyanoshita. We knew Keiji back in high school.” 

“Oh,” Bokuto said, realizing something. “You were on his volleyball team?”

“Yeah,” Mako looked at Akaashi, and he nodded, hoping to convey that he wasn’t trying to hide anything from Bokuto. “Oh, I bet he never told you that he was our captain his senior year.” 

“Huh?” Bokuto looked at Akaashi with surprise of a different sort. “You never told me!” 

“It was only because Kaori didn’t think a junior should be captain, which was silly.” Akaashi shook his head. “I was supposed to be vice-captain, but Kaori wasn’t having it for some unfathomable reason.” 

“You were a great setter, of course, we’d want you as captain,” Eri exclaimed. “You were a great captain too.”

“I should have known you were a captain,” Bokuto added. “You’d be so good at it.”

“I really wasn’t,” Akaashi maintained, sighing deeply. “Do you two want to sit?”

“No, we don’t want to intrude,” Mako said before Eri could respond. “Why don’t we exchange numbers, though. We should get together sometime and catch up.”

“That sounds fine,” Akaashi agreed, pulling out his phone and quickly giving them his number. “Good luck with everything, you two.”

“Good luck with school,” Mako responded. 

“I hope we get to see you again, too, Bokuto,” Eri said with a sweet smile.

“I’m sure we will,” Bokuto responded, returning her smile with his own toothy grin. “Have a nice day.”

Once they had retreated back to their own table, Akaashi felt Bokuto turn back to him, his mouth opening and closing while indecision played across his face. 

Finally, with all the delicacy Akaashi expected from him, Bokuto finally spoke.

“You’re trans?”

Akaashi sighed, partially relieved and partially tired. There didn’t seem to be malice behind Bokuto’s question, just genuine curiosity and surprise. Akaashi couldn’t even say exactly what was still bothering him. Being accepted so unquestioningly as cis was what he’d dreamed of for most of high school and college so that wasn’t it. Maybe it was because Akaashi felt he’d told Bokuto enough for him to understand Akaashi’s trans-ness. Maybe Akaashi was still afraid that Bokuto secretly hated him now. 

“Yeah,” Akaashi said simply. “I’m no exactly obliged to tell you.”

“I wasn’t saying you were!” Bokuto exclaimed, a little too loud for the once again quiet café. At this rate, they’d be asked not to come back. “I just meant… I didn’t know. I don’t care—like you’re still the same person and everything. I guess I’m just surprised. I never would have guessed. Not that I would try to guess!” 

“Bokuto, it’s okay,” Akaashi said, letting his face and body soften. “To be honest, I thought I’d already told you.”

“You did?” Bokuto thought for a moment and then a lightbulb went off behind his eyes. “Oh. I guess you kind of did. I just never put it together.” There was another pause and then he continued with a voice so quiet Akaashi would never have guessed it was possible for it to come from Bokuto. “So your best friend– Or, your former best friend… Did she… Out you? To the whole school?”

“Not the whole school, but enough people for it to get around. Honestly, for as much as she… didn’t like my gender identity, I don’t think she meant it to get out like it did.” Even now, Akaashi couldn’t believe that Airi had meant to do so much harm. “I think she just trusted the wrong people. Maybe we both did.” 

“That doesn’t make it okay,” Bokuto said crossly, looking down at his hot chocolate like it had wronged him in some way. 

“No. I guess it doesn’t.” Akaashi felt a little warm with an unexpected bit of happiness, but he was still wary. “You’re fine with this, right?”

“What?” Bokuto looked up, surprised again. “Of course! This is you. It’s always been you. And, like, in the future, if someone uses the wrong name, I’ll totally correct them. If that’s what you want, of course. Like, just tell me if you ever need help. Or don’t, because I know you’re like really good at taking care of yourself and stuff. But, seriously–”

Akaashi smiled, putting up a hand to stop Bokuto from rambling himself further into a hole.

“Thank you, Bokuto.” Akaashi felt a little strange, almost like he was coming out again even though he felt like he’d been out to Bokuto for a while now. “That sort of misunderstanding rarely happens. I haven’t seen Eri and Mako since high school when I still went by my deadname. Eri can be a bit of an airhead sometimes, so I wasn’t surprised that she forgot. But, if we ever find ourselves in a similar situation, feel free to correct the person. Now, why don’t we go back to talking about stupid things you did in high school and college?”

Bokuto nodded, smiling widely as he launched into another story of some idiocy he and his college volleyball team got themselves into. Akaashi found himself laughing despite himself at the story, feeling good about the day despite the discomfort of his interactions with Eri and Mako. When he got home, he noticed some messages he’d gotten earlier. 

_ From Eri Miyanoshita: Nice to see you again Keiji!!!! Lets get together sometime soon :D _

_ From Mako Ootaki: This is Mako. It was nice seeing you again. I apologize again from Eri’s mistake. It was good to meet Bokuto. I couldn’t help but notice how comfortable you seem with him, I think today was the first time I ever heard you laugh. _

_ From Eri Miyanoshita: Your friend (bokurou????) seemed nice :D :D :D _

_ From Mako Ootaki: Sorry if that seems strange or invasive, but it was hard to ignore your laughing. _

_ From Eri Miyanoshita: Are you two dating? Can I ask if you two are dating????? _

_ From Mako Ootaki: I’m happy you found someone who makes you smile. _

Even though Akaashi knew Eri’s question should have made him blush, it really didn’t. There was something innocent about the question that made it less invasive. Instead, it was Mako’s final text that made him blush because of all the meaning implied in it.

Her text made Akaashi’s blush, but it also made him smile. 

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢


	7. Water Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which water damage isn't all bad.

“This class is going to kill me,” Bokuto complained. “We’re like two weeks in and this class is going to kill me.”

“Bokuto, I am going to go out on a limb here and say you’re over-exaggerating,” Akaashi responded, not even looking up from the book he was reading. 

Akaashi had been reading the same boring-looking book for almost an hour now, writing down notes and marking things in the book. It was called “The Culture of Family” and the title alone left Bokuto uncertain what it could possibly be about. 

“I’d never even heard of molecular pathology before my advisor told me I had to take it.” Bokuto looked hopelessly at his textbook. “General pathology last semester was pretty hard, but at least I knew what that was.”

“The reason you’re taking this class is that you don’t know much about it. You’re going to learn about it.” Bokuto had no clue how Akaashi could read and talk to him. “It’s only two weeks in, you’ll figure it out. You’re smart enough.” 

“You really think so?”

Akaashi sighed and put his book down, looking at Bokuto with an unreadable expression. Despite his stoicism, Bokuto could see some softness in Akaashi’s eyes.

“Yes, I do. You wouldn’t be able to handle all the things you do at once if you weren’t smart.” 

Before Bokuto could come up with a response, his phone buzzed and he saw it was a message from Kuroo. He and Kenma were at a meteorology conference on the other side of the country and Kuroo kept sending Bokuto pictures of how much fun they were having. 

“What did he send this time?” Akaashi asked, obviously ready for Bokuto’s complaints. 

“They’re at the top of the tallest building in the city.” Bokuto turned his phone so Akaashi could see the picture. “Look at that view!” 

Akaashi snorted, “Kuroo looks like he’s going to have a heart attack.”

Bokuto looked back at the picture and saw that Akaashi was right; Kuroo looked two shades paler than usual and like he was ready to faint. Bokuto typed out a snide comment about Kuroo’s fear of heights, then put his phone down. Before he could try and get back to work—Akaashi hadn’t even picked up his book again—Bokuto’s phone started to ring. He was surprised to see it was from his neighbor, who he talked to pretty regularly in person, but almost never on the phone. 

“Hey, Kita,” Bokuto answered. “Is anything the matter?”

“I’m afraid so,” he said, panic shooting through Bokuto. “It’s nothing too bad, but it isn’t great either. About a third of the apartments on our floor were flooded when a pipe burst.”

Bokuto felt nauseous. He didn’t have the money to move but he also didn’t have the money to repair whatever damages had been accrued. 

“Koutarou, are you still there?” Kita asked, his voice fatherly in the way that Bokuto remembered from the first time the met on a night when Shouyou just wouldn’t stop crying. 

Bokuto had assumed Kita was there to yell at him for the non-stop crying, but instead, he’d asked if Bokuto and Shouyou needed anything. It probably hadn’t been smart to let a stranger into his apartment to take care of his baby, but Bokuto had been exhausted and desperate. In the end, it had turned out alright. 

“Yeah, sorry.” 

“Don’t worry yourself too much, Son, the man in 213 is a lawyer and he has already had a word with the landlord about paying for damages.”

“Do you think he’ll pay?” Bokuto wasn’t so sure he would. A nicer apartment would have insurance or something, but he had no clue if that would be true for his apartment building. He definitely didn’t have renters insurance. 

“Legally he should have the building insured so that should pay. If he doesn’t have insurance, then he’ll be in hot water anyway.” Bokuto didn’t say anything and so Kita continued. “Don’t worry, Koutarou, everything’ll be alright.”

“Do you know if it’s livable?” 

“I can’t say for your apartment, but mine is just barely livable. But with a baby…”

“Yeah, I got it.” Bokuto sighed. “I wonder how long repairs will take.” 

“It’ll work out.”

“I know.”

“If you need somewhere to stay, my sister–”

“I could never impose on your family like that,” Bokuto interrupted. “Anyway, you should go stay with your sister. Don’t stay in the apartment if it’s really damaged, you could get hurt or sick.” 

“Okay, I won’t.” Kita paused. “I’ll let you go, but if you need anything, you can always call me.”

“I know. Thank you for telling me about this. Bye.”

“Bye, Koutarou.” 

When Bokuto set his phone down, sighing louder than he meant, he was met with silence from Akaashi. For a moment, he thought he could go back to his work without Akaashi asking what had happened, but when he glanced up, he saw Akaashi was watching him intently. 

“What’s up?” Bokuto asked with an uncomfortable laugh, “Something in my teeth?” 

“Bokuto, do you really think I didn’t hear a conversation happening two feet from me?” 

Bokuto deflated, “No.”

“What wrong?”

“Umm, well, my apartment was flooded. The landlord should pay for damages but even if he does, I don’t know how long repairs will last. I don’t really have money to move right now. If Kuroo and Kenma were here, I could go stay with them, but until they get back…” Bokuto sighed. “They’ll be home soon, I guess. I can stay in a cheap hotel for a few nights.” 

“Bokuto, are you serious?” 

Bokuto looked up at Akaashi and found him looking at Bokuto like he was insane. Or an idiot. Or both. 

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not staying in a hotel.” Akaashi crossed his arms. “You and Shouyou are more than welcome here. It might be a little tight, but it’s a pretty big place.” 

“I wouldn’t want to–”

“You were the one who said that we were here for each other,” Akaashi said, looking away even as his face remained obstinate. “I can offer you a place just as much as Kuroo and Kenma could and I’m doing it. I’m not alone and neither are you.”

Bokuto stopped for a moment, surprised to hear his own words from a handful of months earlier directed back at him. And Akaashi was right. Akaashi didn’t think he was a burden and he didn’t think that Bokuto was a waste of time. It had been nine or ten months since they met and if Akaashi was still around, it meant he was in it for at least a little longer.

“Okay,” Bokuto said, smiling faintly at Akaashi. “Thank you.”

“You’d do the same for me,” Akaashi said and Bokuto wanted to point out that even if he wanted to agree, there was no way that in this situation he’d be able to help Akaashi. Before he could, Akaashi added in a soft, surprisingly vulnerable voice, “You already have.” 

Bokuto blinked at Akaashi. When had Akaashi decided Bokuto was safe? Bokuto didn’t know when that happened but he wondered if maybe his life would have been very different if he’d met Akaashi five or ten years earlier. 

“Well, we should figure out logistics,” Akaashi said, breaking Bokuto out of his thoughts before he could decide where Akaashi fit in his life now. “We might need to get another bed.” 

≒☼≓

Things were certainly tight in Akaashi’s apartment, but no more than they could handle. Akaashi had insisted Bokuto take his bed, much to Bokuto’s chagrin. But Bokuto was realizing quickly that Akaashi could be stubborn as hell when he wanted to be. Akaashi had insisted that somehow Bokuto was a guest and that guests never slept on the couch in Akaashi’s home. 

Since Shouyou was old enough to sleep in a bed, Akiteru had given his bed up and was sleeping on the smaller of Akaashi’s two couches. Bokuto had been able to bring the bed guard from Shouyou’s bed since it was above where the water had reached. Most of Bokuto’s important things—textbooks, his laptop, and his important documents—had either been in waterproof cases or on his person. He was going to have to send Kenma’s mother a thank you card for getting him those waterproof cases for his important documents otherwise he would have been in a lot of trouble. 

Bokuto also thanked his lucky stars for having an understanding boss. For as much as he worked Bokuto and the other employees to the bone, he was also a human being to some extent. When Bokuto explained his situation, his boss was able to get Bokuto a week and a half paid leave. It wouldn’t fully cover until his apartment was repaired—that would probably be two weeks—but it was enough. 

Even so, Bokuto woke up early the third morning in a row staying in Akaashi’s apartment and found himself confused for longer than he probably should have been. The first confusion was the fact that the place didn’t smell right. After that, he’d realize that the bed didn’t feel right—the mattress was too comfortable, the sheets too soft, and the pillow too firm—which would make him panic for a half second. Then the room would come into focus in his mind and he’d realize he wasn’t in his apartment, thus explaining the difference. Only then would he wake up enough to remember what was going on. 

This morning, the realization came a bit quicker than the last two mornings and he realized suddenly how strange this all was. He’d know Akaashi for less than a year and here he was, staying in Akaashi’s bedroom. 

He slid out of bed, leaving the blankets a mess as he crossed the floor to the door. As his hand touched the doorknob he remembered that it was probably considered polite to make a bed after you used it—this was the first morning he’d considered this—and he hurried back over to the bed to make it. It was a messy job, but it was obvious he tried so, satisfied, he exited the room. 

It was just past 5:30 in the morning—which was actually later than usual for Bokuto—so Bokuto was the only one awake. Even Shouyou, who was an early riser like Bokuto, rarely woke up before 5:30 and today, Bokuto expected that 6 or later was much more likely. He was having trouble sleeping now that he and Bokuto weren’t in the same room—Shouyou had always slept within arms reach of Bokuto—and that was messing with his regular sleep patterns. Combine that with all the excitement and stress of the past few days and it was no wonder he’d been sleeping longer. 

That said, maybe Akaashi was just wearing off on Shouyou.

Bokuto knew Akaashi woke up early to get ready for the day and to get ready for class, but he’d never considered the fact that maybe Akaashi wasn’t built for early mornings. Once he pulled himself from sleep, Akaashi was out of it for a good hour before the coffee he pumped into his body finally seemed to activate and wake him up just a little bit. Bokuto wasn’t sure how to come to terms with how adorable Akaashi looked when he was so asleep at the kitchen table that Bokuto feared he’d drown himself in his coffee cup. 

Bokuto crept past Akaashi and Akiteru on his way to the kitchen, glad that they both seemed to be heavy sleepers since even when he was being quiet, Bokuto tended to be pretty loud. Before he arrived at the kitchen, though, Bokuto realized he could smell coffee and after a quick couch-check, he saw that Akaashi was already awake. 

“Morning,” Bokuto greeted as quietly as he could. “You’re up early.” 

“I wanted to see how early you woke up,” Akaashi replied sleepily. “You wake up too early.” 

“This is actually a little late for me,” Bokuto laughed, taking a seat across from Akaashi. “Why didn’t you just ask when I woke up?”

Akaashi shrugged, taking another long drink of his coffee before standing slowly. 

“Do you want breakfast?” 

“Sure, why not?” Bokuto hopped up. “Want help?”

“It’s fine,” Akaashi waved him away. “I’m just going to make some scrambled eggs and toast.”

“Okay,” Bokuto started to sit down but as he watched Akaashi get his equipment together, he realized maybe Akaashi could use a simple lesson on the best way to make scrambled eggs. “You don’t need a bowl.” 

“Huh?” Akaashi turned to look at Bokuto. “How am I supposed to whisk the eggs?”

“Stir them in the pan…” Bokuto thought for a moment then decided he might as well take over. “Here, let me show you.” 

“I didn’t know you were an egg snob,” Akaashi said, humor obvious in his tone.

“I’m not, this is just the best way to make them,” Bokuto defended. “Now watch. It’s all about not overcooking then.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve already told you that I’m not much of a cook,” Akaashi reminded him.

“Then I’ll teach you,” Bokuto said, giving Akaashi a wide smile. Bokuto was surprised when Akaashi’s face started to turn red, but Akaashi turned away before he could ponder the cause, heading back to the table.

“Okay, but not now, it’s too early for me.” 

“I guess that’s a good point.”

They fell silent, Akaashi sipping his coffee quietly behind Bokuto—the only reason he could hear it was that the room was so quiet—and Bokuto cooking the eggs. Even though Akaashi was silent, Bokuto swore he could feel Akaashi’s eyes drilling into him. But when Bokuto did turn to look at Akaashi, his eyes were elsewhere, his face still red. 

“Here,” Bokuto said, handing a finished plate of eggs to Akaashi. “Try those. I like them with scallions, but they should be good without them.” 

Akaashi took the plate and ate a few bite of the eggs before nodding at Bokuto.

“These are good.”

“You like them?”

“Sure, they’re good.”

“You don’t sound like you actually like them,” Bokuto insisted, squinting at Akaashi distrustingly. 

“It’s not that they aren’t good,” Akaashi admitted, “I’m just not really someone who notices things like that.” 

“How can you not notice good food?” Bokuto asked, completely bewildered. “Food is great!” 

“I mean, it’s fine,” Akaashi shrugged, “but I just don’t notice much difference in quality I guess.”

That did explain why all the spices Bokuto had seen in Akaashi’s kitchen were either low quality or old.

“You should make these for Akiteru, though,” Akaashi continued. “Yamato is a great cook and Akiteru would probably love these eggs. He doesn’t really like mine.” 

“All the more reason for me to teach you to make eggs this way.” Bokuto took a bite from his plate, talking through the food. “You really don’t cook?”

“I mean, I do, but not well.” Akaashi shrugged again. “I’ll pretty much eat whatever.” 

Bokuto took another bite, wondering what it was like to live with such little appreciation for good food. 

Like he could read Bokuto’s mind, Akaashi spoke up again. 

“For me, the food isn’t as important as the people you’re eating it with.” Akaashi was looking at his plate, his face giving nothing away about what he was thinking or feeling. Even the blush he’d had before had faded. “If a stranger handed me these eggs, I wouldn’t care much. But you made them and that makes them mean something. Food is food, but people make it and that’s what matters.” 

“I guess you’re right,” Bokuto agreed, a long silence stretching between them before Bokuto added, “My mom taught me how to cook.” 

When Akaashi didn’t respond, only looking at Bokuto with those same unreadable eyes, Bokuto continued. 

“Back then, it made me so happy to be able to do something with her because we didn’t have a lot in common. I was always a problem child and I was the middle of three so it always felt like I was only noticed when I screwed up. I don’t even remember why she taught me to cook and not my brothers. My best guess is that it was a way to keep me busy. Maybe she wanted me to learn patience and how to pay attention for long periods of time. I never asked, so I can’t really say. I guess… I miss them. I know I cut them out, but I miss them anyway.” 

“That’s okay,” Akaashi told him, “you’re allowed to miss them.”

“I don’t know how big your family is, but mine is pretty big.” Bokuto found he suddenly didn’t have an appetite, but he knew he needed to finish these eggs so he took another bite, chewing slowly before he continued. “My mom has two sisters and my dad has two brothers and a sister. I have two brothers. I have eleven cousins. Three of my grandparents are still alive. Holidays were always busy and so maybe my mom just taught me to cook so I could help on holidays but it was so nice to cook for everyone. They all liked my cooking, too. Sometimes I might have been lost in the crowd, but everyone was so loving until… until they weren’t. I love my friends so much, you’re all family now, but sometimes I feel lonely with just me and Shouyou. I wish Shouyou could experience holidays like I did when I was little but I don’t think that’ll ever happen.” 

“A small family isn’t always a bad thing,” Akaashi said, “my family is small. For most of my life, I had two living grandparents. Most holidays growing up were just six of us. Now, with Yamato, Akiteru, and Kei it’s sometimes bigger but when they spend holidays with Yamato’s family, it ends up with just my parents and me.”

Bokuto looked at Akaashi with surprised eyes, not expecting him to open up like this. Bokuto was surprised any time Akaashi opened up because since they met, Bokuto had been reminded time and time again that Akaashi was a reserved person, especially when it came to talking about himself. 

“For you, that probably sounds lonely, but it was nice. I never felt lost in a crowd because there was no crowd to get lost in. Maybe I was spoiled growing up, but I always knew I was loved, no matter what, because there was never any question about how people felt. No one in my family is that outgoing, but we’re pretty honest with each other and, I think, that’s not possible when there are lots of people.” Akaashi looked off to the side, his eyes thoughtful. “If your family doesn’t love and respect you and Shouyou, then they don’t deserve to be family. And, of course, if you ever decided to try and give them a second chance, all your friends would be here to support you.” 

“Thanks,” Bokuto smiled widely at Akaashi. “That means a lot.”

“Well, family is important but you get to decide who your family is. If your family is the people who are related to you by blood, great, but if they're your friends, then that’s great too.” 

Akaashi bit his lip, but not in the way Bokuto usually saw him bit his lip. Instead of the habit of picking at or biting skin, this was a nervously thoughtful thing that didn’t do any damage to Akaashi’s skin. It was probably related to the same impulse that caused him to accidentally make his lips bleed on occasion, but this was much less concerning than that action. 

“I’m flattered to think that you include me in your family and if you don’t have plans for any holidays, you should tell us. I know Kenma or Kuroo invite you home but if they can’t or don’t, you and Shouyou are always welcome to come to holidays with me. Like I said, we have room.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Bokuto wished he still had the unending confidence he’d had in high school. He was still confident, but he’d realized in the past four or so years that he was terrible at ‘reading the room,’ meaning that he was never sure when he was actually wanted somewhere and when people wanted him to leave. Sometimes he wished he could go back to the blissful ignorance he’d had in high school. 

“You wouldn’t be imposing,” Akaashi shook his head, turning to smile at Bokuto with a rare soft smile. “It’s a while from now, but if you don’t make other plans for Christmas, you and Shouyou should come celebrate with us. Kei and Akiteru are so used to spending time with Shouyou now, they might be lonely without him.” 

For a moment Bokuto thought Akaashi was going to add something else, but in the end, he said nothing and Bokuto let that feeling go.

“Thanks. It means a lot,” Bokuto told him, a feeling blooming suddenly in his chest. 

Whether it was his words or his smile, Bokuto couldn’t say, but something about that entire exchange made Bokuto’s heart suddenly skip a beat and a lot of things became clear. 

First, while Bokuto had noticed—and almost commented on—Akaashi’s attractiveness from pretty early on in their interactions, Bokuto never realized just how attractive he was when he smiled like this. It was soft and meaningful. It was happy and almost loving. It felt in that moment like Akaashi was giving Bokuto his entire attention and all the affection he could. It was like, for a moment, there was nothing in the world but the two of them and this kitchen table. 

All at once, a swarm of butterflies exploded in his stomach and Bokuto was sure his entire face turned red, though Akaashi didn’t comment if it did. 

Second, Bokuto also became incredibly aware of the fact that despite the small amount of time they’d known each other—nine months was quite a few, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t very long—Akaashi had become an important fixture in his and Shouyou’s life. 

Lastly, and most importantly, Bokuto realized that there was nowhere he’d rather be than sitting across from Akaashi, eating eggs and talking about anything and everything. 

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢


	8. Just a Little Bit of hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Akiteru makes a friend.

When Keiko and Yamato picked up, Akaashi couldn’t help but smile at them. It had been a while since he got to video chat with them—usually he had something else to do and would simply set the boys up in one room with the computer—so it was nice to see their faces. 

Yamato was looking a lot better than the last time Akaashi had seen him, and that made him feel a certain amount of relief. Of course, Akaashi was mostly happy because he wanted his brother-in-law to be healthy, but it was also a relief to know that not only would Akiteru and Kei probably not have to worry about growing up with only one parent but also they’d probably get their parents home in a timely fashion. And that also meant that they would have two better parents than him soon. 

“Keiji, you look tired,” Keiko commented. “Have you been getting enough sleep.” 

“Hello Keiko,” Akaashi said sarcastically. “It’s nice to see you too.” 

“I’m just telling the truth,” Keiko defended. “And excuse me for worrying about my baby brother.” 

Yamato chuckled and Akaashi rolled his eyes, even if he still had a fond smile on his lips. 

“You’re looking better, Yamato,” Akaashi commented. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling really great. The treatment is going well and my doctors are hopeful about my recovery. They’re being cautious about what they tell me, of course, but they have started to say I might be able to return home by the end of the year.”

“Really?” Akaashi had honestly not expected that. Keiko and Yamato had said at the beginning of the treatment that they might be away for two or three years, but this new information would put that treatment time closer to a year and a half. “That’s great news.” 

“We’re really happy,” Keiko said, reaching out to take Yamato’s hand as she looked at him with eyes that were so full of love that Akaashi almost turned away. He knew how much his sister loved her husband, but sometimes it still surprised him to see it. 

“I’m really happy for you both,” Akaashi said as the door to his room opened slowly, revealing Akiteru and Kei. “You’re both finished picking up?”

“Yes,” Akiteru said with a small smile. “Are Mommy and Daddy there?” 

“Hey baby,” Yamato said as the boy’s voice carried to the computer. “We’re here.”

Akiteru and Kei walked to the bed, Akiteru helping Kei climb up before sitting next to Akaashi. 

“Akiteru, did you grow since we last talked?” Keiko asked, her smile widening. “I swear, you’re going to be 7 feet tall before you stop growing.” 

“Uncle Akaashi’s been measuring us on the wall!” Akiteru said. “Kei is taller too.” 

“Measuring heights, huh?” Keiko smiled at Akaashi. “Sounds like something Mom would do.”

“Well, it was nice when we were growing up,” Akaashi said. “And I didn’t think Mom and Dad would mind if we wrote on the walls here.” 

“They will be absolutely charmed by it,” Keiko laughed. “I guess when we get back, we’ll have to start our own chart.” 

“I guess so,” Akaashi agreed. “Since last time you video chatted with Akiteru, I think he’s grown half an inch.” 

“Wow, you’re going to be so tall soon,” Yamato told Akiteru. “I guess you take after Mommy.”

“You say that like you’re short,” Keiko told him, “You’re tall too. And look at him, he looks so much like you. I’d bet he’ll be your height by the time he’s sixteen.” 

“I’m sure both of them will be taller than me when they’re sixteen,” Yamato commented. 

“Guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” Keiko said with a nod. “So, Akiteru, you went back to school recently. How is it?”

“It’s really fun,” Akiteru said with a huge smile. “We’re learning lots of cool things. And I get to take Music Class this year! And gym is really fun too. We played volleyball last week and it was really fun! Oh! Also, I made a friend in my class.”

“Really? What’s their name?” Keiko asked.

“Saeko and she’s really cool and stuff. She likes to play on the jungle gym and she makes me climb really high. It was scary at first, but it was really cool to see the playground from there.”

Akaashi listened closely, filing the girl’s name away in his mind so he could contact her family to make a playdate. He’d been a little worried in the previous year because Akiteru had never talked much about friends. He had people he seemed to get along with, but no friends. It was good to know he had made a friend this year and Akaashi would do anything to help that friendship along. 

“And, like, one time a kid was being mean to me and she told him to shut up and scared him away. It was super cool.”

Akiteru continued to talk about Saeko, going on and on about the cool things she’d said or done. Akaashi smirked to himself, wondering if maybe Saeko was too cool for Akiteru even if it seemed like the two of them got along surprisingly well. Akaashi loved Akiteru, but he wasn’t exactly a cool kid—most kids his age wouldn’t be described by anyone as cool, but Akiteru was particularly uncool in the most charming of ways—so it was surprising to hear that this girl spent so much time with him. 

While Akiteru talked, Kei moved from his place next to Akaashi into his lap, seemingly to get a better look at the computer. Akiteru was to Akaashi’s left, on his knees and leaned a bit forward as he talked excitedly. For a moment, Akaashi felt like maybe this was right. For the first time in almost ten months of taking care of the boys, Akaashi thought maybe he wasn’t so terrible at this. Akaashi thought that maybe, just maybe, things weren’t going to fall apart and that maybe things were, in the end, really, really okay.

≒☼≓

When Akaashi came to pick up Akiteru on a day when Suga and Daichi were watching Kei for a few hours, Akaashi saw Akiteru was talking to a girl in his class that Akaashi recognized because of the way she talked animatedly to Akiteru. Akaashi remembered seeing the girl a few other times with a woman who was likely her mother, talking about the day like she’d just been on a grand adventure. Today, though, the woman hadn’t arrived before Akaashi and he saw his chance to ask her about a playdate.

As if on cue, a woman about Keiko’s age walked into the classroom with short, black hair that looked almost exactly like the little girl’s.

“Excuse me,” Akaashi said, stepping towards the woman, “Sorry to bother you, but are you Saeko’s mother?” 

The woman’s face looked momentarily horrified and then suddenly apologetic. 

“I’m sorry, what did she do? I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

Akaashi blinked at her, surprised by that response. 

“What?”

“Huh?” She blinked at Akaashi. “You mean you’re not upset…”

“Why would I…?” Akaashi shook his head. “No, it’s not that. I’m Akaashi Keiji. Tsukishima Akiteru is my nephew. I’m taking care of him right now.” Akaashi pointed at Akiteru and Saeko. “He mentioned he’d made friends with a girl name Saeko and I was wondering about planning a playdate.” 

“Oh!” The woman sighed and then smiled. “Sorry, I just thought… Usually, parents are complaining about something Saeko said or did. She can be a bit forward and maybe a little aggressive by accident. Some boys and a lot of the girls in class don’t really like that. The parents really don’t like it.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Akaashi shook his head. “She seems like a nice girl to me. I’m just glad Akiteru made a friend, he can be a little shy.”

Saeko’s mother laughed, throwing her head back as she did. It seemed that Saeko took after her mother, not that Akaashi minded. He spent half his time with Bokuto and Shouyou, after all. 

“Shyness has never stopped Saeko from talking to someone.” She stuck out her hand. “Where are my manners? I’m Tanaka Reiko.”

“Nice to meet you, Tanaka,” Akaashi said taking her hand. “Why don’t we exchange numbers? We can plan something.” 

“Sounds good to me. I hope you don’t mind if I bring Saeko’s younger brother, too. I don’t usually have someone to watch him and he’s only 4 so I can’t exactly leave him alone.”

“That’s totally fine,” Akaashi said. “Akiteru has a younger brother too. He’ll be turning 3 this year, but right now he’s only 2.” Akaashi thought for a moment. “We could actually do two playdates. Akiteru’s younger brother—Kei—isn’t always that friendly, but I have a friend with a 3-year-old who’s really outgoing. Maybe the three of us could get together with all the kids.”

“That sounds great,” Tanaka said. “My son, Ryuunosuke, is really outgoing. Hopefully, he’s not too much for the boys.”

“Knowing Shouyou, I’m sure it’ll be a relief to have someone to play with who’d more upbeat than Kei,” Akaashi said with a laugh. “Here’s my phone, just put your number in.” 

As Tanaka typed her number in, Akaashi called Akiteru over. Seeing her mother, Saeko followed. 

“Akiteru, how does a playdate with Saeko sound?” Akaashi asked. 

“Really?” His eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked at Akaashi before turning to Saeko. “Do you want to?” 

“Duh!” She said, slapping Akiteru on the back. “That’ll be fun!” 

Tanaka chastised her daughter for being too rough with her friend and Akaashi laughed as Akiteru tried to explain that it was okay because he was really strong. By the time they all said goodbye, Akaashi couldn’t keep a smile off his face. 

≒☼≓

It turned out that Tanaka was a single mother, thus making plans that fit her, Bokuto, and Akaashi’s schedules was a bit of a nightmare. In the end, they weren’t able to make plans until October, much to Akiteru’s chagrin. Even pointing out that he still got to see Saeko in school almost every day didn’t make him less impatient for the day to arrive.

Now, though, it was September 20th and both Akiteru and Kei—along with Shouyou—were with Kuroo and Kenma for the evening. 

Akaashi wasn’t sure what had possessed him to ask Bokuto if he wanted to go out for dinner together for Bokuto’s birthday, but as Akaashi waited outside the train station for Bokuto, he realized how date-like this was. 

Bokuto was going to have a bigger party next weekend since everyone was free, but for his actual birthday, Akaashi wanted to make sure he didn’t spend the whole day studying at home. 

When Bokuto appeared from around the corner, Akaashi found himself swallowing dryly. Bokuto was wearing a pair of old but well fitting slacks and a shirt that seemed just a little too tight, clinging closely to his chest and shoulders. He had a jacket thrown over one shoulder, probably because it was a little warm for September. 

For Akaashi’s part, he was pretty cold and wearing his fall jacket despite it still technically being summer. He was wearing jeans, but they were one of his best pairs of pants. They were black and, in Oikawa’s words, ‘hugged his ass really well.’ He was wearing a long sleeve shirt that was maybe a little too loose but was comfortable and warm. He still wasn’t that comfortable in tight shirts, but Oikawa and Suga respected that when they took him shopping. 

They were good friends.

“You look nice,” Akaashi commented in spite of his brain telling him not to. “Aren’t you cold?” 

“Nope,” Bokuto said matter-of-factly. “It’s not that cold out. Are you cold?”

“Maybe a little, but that’s why I’m wearing my jacket.” Akaashi looked more closely at Bokuto and noticed his cheeks were unusually red. “Did you run here? You didn't have to.”

“Huh? What do you mean? I didn't run here.”

“Well, your cheeks are red so I thought that was why.”

“Oh, uh, umm–” Bokuto pulled his jacket off his shoulder and put it on hastily. “I'm probably just colder than I thought. Guess I'll put on my jacket!”

Akaashi shrugged and as he turned to head into the train station, he swore he saw Bokuto let out a sigh of relief. 

≒☼≓

At first, dinner was quiet. It was quieter than Akaashi expected, given Bokuto was… well, Bokuto. 

“Are you feeling alright?” Akaashi finally asked, a little worried that Bokuto’s red face still hadn’t lessened much since being inside. 

“Huh?” Bokuto blinked at him, looking caught off guard. “Yeah, I think so. Why?”

“You’re still red,” Akaashi explained, taking a small sip of his drink. “It’s not that warm in here.” 

“Oh, umm…” Bokuto laughed nervously. “I guess… this place is kinda’ fancy and I’m not really…”

Akaashi got the feeling that Bokuto was lying, though he couldn’t exactly pinpoint why he thought that. And, anyway, he thought maybe he was wrong. 

“You shouldn’t worry,” Akaashi said simply, smiling just a little bit as he added. “You look great.” 

At that Akaashi did notice the way Bokuto got redder and he realized maybe that was a strange thing to say to your friend. So, before things could get dangerously uncomfortable, Akaashi changed the subject. 

“How’s Shouyou doing with his counting?” 

Bokuto sighed, “Not great. I was hoping he’d be better with numbers than he is with sounds, but he seems to take after me a little too much. Like I know he was premature so things will take longer than they might for other kids, but I still worry about him.”

“He’ll catch up,” Akaashi assured him. “Keiko told me that Akiteru lagged behind a little when he was a baby, but look at him now.”

“That’s good to hear.” Bokuto smiled to himself, seemingly unphased by Akaashi’s conversation pivot. “How’s your sister, umm, Tsukishima?” 

“You can call her Keiko,” Akaashi said with a snort. “All my friends do. It’s too confusing to call her and Yamato Tsukishima.”

“I guess it would be,” Bokuto nodded to himself, “So how are they?”

“Really good. Yamato is getting stronger every time I talk to them. I think he’ll really be okay.” Akaashi smiled softly. “I’m obviously glad because I care about Yamato, but more than that… He and Keiko love each other so much. I don’t know how Keiko would have been able to… I hate to think what it would have done to her.”

“I can’t even imagine,” Bokuto said, looking sad. “I don’t think I’d be able to get through something like that.”

“Well, she didn’t die, but Shouyou’s mother…” 

Akaashi paused, wondering if maybe he shouldn’t bring her up. Bokuto didn’t seem bothered talking about her, but it still seemed like a bad topic to bring up. 

“I guess… that’s really different.” Bokuto smiled sadly, looking passed Akaashi as he spoke. “We met in high school, yah know? And she was so much cooler than me. She didn’t care that I was the school’s big sports star or whatever. She didn’t really give a damn about me at all. She got her motorcycle license when she was sixteen and used to ride to school. When the administration told her only seniors could drive to school, she’d just park it near school and walk the last two blocks. 

“I got my car license when I was seventeen and was only allowed to drive our old car when I had work. One night I found her broken down on the side of the road and gave her a lift to the nearest service station. I can still see her smile at me almost mischievously as she said, ‘thanks, Bright Eyes.’ She called me that pretty much for the rest of the time we knew each other.

“Shouyou looks a lot like her. Same hair and eyes. She used to keep her hair long, usually braiding it. It was to her waist when we were in high school, but then once we started university she cut it so it was shorter than my hair. We kind of started dating our senior year, not that long after I helped her out. We weren’t really official or anything, but we were more or less exclusive. We were too young to be doing any of the shit we got into and it only got more intense in college. Freshman year was the only time we were official, but we started drifting further and further apart until we were one wrong move away from breaking up. Then she got pregnant.”

Bokuto got quiet, shaking his head as he did.

“We were really stupid. Headstrong and stupid. That was a turning point for me. All of a sudden everything was so real and so hard. I’d thought getting injured was hard enough. I’d thought losing my scholarship was the worst thing that could happen, but I was wrong.”

Bokuto fell silent as their food arrived, only continuing when the waiter left. 

“I never want Shouyou to know he was an accident. I love him so much, but… if we’d been even a little smarter…” He shook his head again. “We had a lot of talks. We talked about termination. I told her it was her choice. She decided she wanted to have the kid, but that she couldn’t take care of them. I said I wanted to take care of them, that I didn’t want the baby to end up in the system. She told me I’d have to do it alone and I told her that was fine. Shouyou was born and I took him and then we… She left the city and I haven’t seen or heard from her since. We left on as good of terms as could be expected and I don’t hold a grudge or anything. We both did what we thought was best for us and, I think, for Shouyou.”

Bokuto fell silent and Akaashi was pretty sure he was finished, the story done. Still, Akaashi waited and sure enough, Bokuto did have more to say. 

A smile on his face, Bokuto shook his head. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone all of that. Like, Kuroo and Kenma were there and my family was more or less there… I think you’re the first person who’s heard the whole thing like that.” Bokuto looked up at Akaashi, looking sheepish. “Was that too much?”

Akaashi shook his head, “Of course not.” Akaashi paused for a moment and then it was his turn to look away as he said, “You know, for better or for worse, maybe all of that happened for a reason. And, I mean, if it hadn’t happened how it did, there’s a good chance we never would have met.” 

“I didn’t think about that,” Bokuto said. “Of course I was already happy to have Shouyou, but now I’m really glad it all happened like it did.”

Akaashi looked at Bokuto and was sure Bokuto could see the way his face was flushed. Akaashi could feel his heart beating and his hands were sweaty as he tried to get up the courage to just tell Bokuto about his feelings.

But, in the end, that was easier thought than done and so he didn’t say a word about the way that Bokuto invaded his every thought these days or how Bokuto’s smiles made Akaashi feel a little lighter. 

“Thanks for this,” Bokuto said as he grabbed his fork to start eating. “I’m having a good time. And I like spending time with you.”

“Me too,” Akaashi said, with maybe too much sincere softness in his tone. “Happy birthday, Bokuto.”

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢

Bokuto knew it was silly to be nervous about a playdate, but he found himself strangely intent on impressing the mother of Akiteru’s friend. A voice in the back of his head whispered that he was probably worried about impressing Akaashi, but he did his best to ignore that because it would make keeping his cool much more difficult. 

He recently let Shouyou start picking out his clothes for the day and today he’d picked out a cat dress that was a hand-me-down from one of Kuroo’s sisters. Normally Bokuto couldn’t care less if Shouyou picked out a dress or a pair of pants, but there was part of him that worried about what these new people would think. But even imagining telling Shouyou he had to wear something else made Bokuto feel terrible and so he hoped that things would be okay. He reasoned that if Akaashi had planned this, the family had to be decent. 

For maybe the first time in his life Bokuto was not only the first person to arrive for a meetup, but he was also early. Even when he was the first person there, it was usually only because everyone else was late. Today, though, he was there twenty minutes early at the south entrance to the park.

Ten minutes before they were supposed to meet up, Akaashi texted to say he would be a little late. The bus was stuck in traffic and it wasn’t exactly like he could just tell the driver to let him out. 

Five minutes before they were supposed to meet up a woman with two children in tow walked towards the entrance. Her eyes locked onto Bokuto before dragging down to Shouyou and after a few moments on contemplation, she walked over to him.

“Hi, are you, umm… Bokuto Koutarou?” 

“Yeah,” Bokuto answered with a wide smile. “You must be Tanaka Reiko.” 

“Yep. I guess we’ll have to wait here for Akaashi, then.” She glanced at the two children with her, both of whom looked like they were about to explode with energy. “These are my kids.”

“I’m Ryuunu— nosuke!” The boy exclaimed, tripping over his own name in his excitement. “Hi!” 

“I’m Saeko,” the girl added, looking and sounding excited, but managing to be more reserved than her brother. 

Bokuto looked down at Shouyou and found he was slowly inching his way behind Bokuto, his selective-shyness showing itself. Even so, he still was able to speak, his voice as firm as could be expected from a shy three-year-old. 

“I’m Shouyou.” 

 

“Nice ta’ meet yah!” Ryuunosuke said, looking closely at Shouyou for a few moments before he spoke again. “Nice dress! Do you like cats?” 

Shouyou didn’t come out of hiding, but he also didn’t recede further behind Bokuto, looking at Ryuunosuke with a simple sort of interest. 

“Yeah.” 

Ryuunosuke thought for a moment before saying, “Dogs are better!” 

“Ryuu!” Reiko exclaimed, “What did I say about opinions?”

“Uhh…” Ryuu seemed to be thinking hard about the word, Bokuto surprised a boy his age could understand the word. “They’re like hands?”

“Why’s that?”

“They’re not always right.” Ryuunosuke made an annoyed face. “But I was just saying dogs are better.”

“You like dogs, but if Shouyou likes cats, that’s okay.” Reiko rubbed her eyes, looking exhausted before smiling at Ryuunosuke. “Not everyone likes dogs. Just because you like dogs, doesn’t mean they’re better than cats.” 

“Fine,” Ryuunosuke conceded, looking unhappy about it. “Cats are okay too.”

“I like dogs too,” Shouyou told him quietly. “I like lots of animals. Cats and dogs and owls and penguins and birds.”

“See!” Ryuunosuke smiled at his mom. “I was right.”

Reiko sighed, seeming to decide this battle wasn’t worth her energy and so instead she turned back to Bokuto.

“So, how do you know Akaashi?” 

“I was on my way home from school and it started raining but I didn’t have an umbrella,” Bokuto explained. “I was with Shouyou and was using a notebook to keep him dry. Akaashi gave me his umbrella. Later I ran into him again since we apparently both use that road a lot. I gave back his umbrella but just sort of kept going back to the place where he worked. His boss actually was the one who invited me back, but when we realized we both had boys around the same age, it made sense to spend more time together so the boys had someone to play with.” 

Reiko chuckled a little, unsuccessfully hiding her laughter behind her hand. 

“What?”

“Sorry, it just sounds so much like a cheesy romance novel.” 

Bokuto felt his cheeks reddening, his growing feelings for Akaashi making him more embarrassed than he normally would have been. After all, he was pretty used to Kuroo teasing him in a similar manner, but that hadn’t usually been about people Bokuto cared much about romantically. Also, he knew when Kuroo was just being a loveable asshole so it was easier to ignore his pestering. 

“It’s not like that!” Bokuto insisted, his voice probably a little too loud. “We’re just friends.” 

Reiko laughed louder, not trying to hide her laughter now. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to imply anything.” Her laughter petered out a little, though she still had a smile on her face. “You’re adorable, honestly.” 

Before Bokuto could respond, he caught sight of Akaashi and the boys hurrying toward them. Akaashi had Kei in his arms and was walking quickly while Akiteru followed a little behind him. 

“Sorry we’re late,” Akaashi said, a little out of breath as he walked up to them. “I didn’t expect traffic to be so bad today.” 

“It’s alright,” Reiko said, “It happens.” 

“Akiteru!” Saeko exclaimed, walking over to slap Akiteru on the arm in what was obviously supposed to be a friendly manner even if it didn’t come off as such. “You’re here!” 

“Yep!” Akiteru responded, rubbing his arm discreetly. “Oh. This is my brother, Kei.” 

Akiteru presented his brother who stared at Saeko silently until Akiteru poked him. 

“Hello.”

“Hi Kei! This is my brother, Ryuu.” She grinned, pointing to her brother. “His name is Ryuunosuke but you can call him Ryuu.” 

“Nice to meet you, Ryuunosuke,” Akiteru said, obviously uncomfortable with calling someone by a nickname at someone else’s insistence. 

“Nice ta’ meet yah too!” Ryuunosuke responded, giving Akiteru a toothy grin of his own. 

Just when Bokuto thought he’d have to convince Shouyou to join the others, Akiteru turned as smiled at him.

“That’s Shouyou, he’s my brother’s friend.” Akiteru gestured for Shouyou to come over and after a few moments of hesitation, he emerged from behind Bokuto and went to stand near Akiteru and Kei, only glancing back at Bokuto once for reassurance. “He’s really cool. If you like running around, Shouyou is really good at that stuff. And jumping too.” 

Ryuunosuke seemed to be sizing up Shouyou for a second time before he spoke. 

“Good at jumping, huh? But you’re so small!” 

“Ryuu!” Reiko jumped in, crossing her arms while giving her son a look of disbelief. “What did I say about commenting on things like that?” 

“What? It’s not a bad thing!” Ryuunosuke defended, pouting a little bit. “He just is!”

Bokuto laughed, checking quickly to make sure Shouyou hadn’t been upset by the comment. Seeing that he didn’t seem to care much, Bokuto waved Reiko off. 

“Don’t worry. Shouyou is a little small for his age, it’s true. But that’s totally fine, right Sunshine?” 

“Yeah!” Shouyou said, smiling confidently. “I bet I can jump higher than you!” 

Kei turned to look at Akaashi, tugging on his hand until Akaashi leaned down to listen to Kei’s question. After listening, Akaashi snorted a little, covering his mouth quickly with his hand before regaining his composure. He responded in a quiet tone to Kei, his response making Kei look unhappy. 

“Why don’t we find somewhere to put our stuff?” Reiko asked, hiking her bag higher onto her shoulder and heading into the park, Akaashi and Bokuto following close behind with their entourage of children. 

Bokuto felt like this was going to be a good day.

⥤ ☂︎ ⥢


	9. Constellations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bokuto needs a break.

Akaashi was doing something he found himself doing a lot more lately: observing Bokuto. 

They were once again at Akaashi’s kitchen table, doing homework together while Kei and Shouyou played in the other room. They’d both started going to daycare, but today was a weekend so Bokuto and Akaashi had no classes. Bokuto had work today, but it was at night so while he was at work, Shouyou was going to stay with Akaashi. 

These days, Akaashi had been observing Bokuto mostly because in the past month or so, there had been a clear shift in Bokuto’s attitude. He was rapidly approaching the end of the first semester of his final year of university which, in Akaashi’s opinion, was one of the hardest semesters in university. The content was difficult and, even for a student like Akaashi, it was easy to get distracted by thoughts of what you’d be doing after university. On top of that, Bokuto was studying for the GRE now and Akaashi could tell that was weighing on him heavily. 

Lately, Bokuto had been distracted and his concentration was worse than usual. On top of that, he was more irritable than usual. He hadn’t snapped at Akaashi or Shouyou, but Akaashi had noticed him getting annoyed at even the smallest inconvenience. For example, right now he was getting obviously annoyed by the fact that his mechanical pencil's lead kept snapping even though the reason that was happening was that he was writing too hard. 

After if snapped for the fifth time in as many minutes, Bokuto let out a shout of annoyance, throwing his pencil down and crossing his arms. 

“I’m done!” He shouted. “This is stupid and I’m done.” 

“What’s stupid?” Akaashi asked calmly, hoping Bokuto hadn’t noticed that Akaashi had been watching him work for the last few minutes.

“This stupid test is stupid. Nobody can pass it, it’s impossible.”

“Are you studying for the GRE?” 

“Yes.” 

“If you want help, I can help you study,” Akaashi offered. “And you have plenty of time left to study. You won’t know everything right away.”

“It’s just like stupid high school math again. None of this makes sense, it’s all stupid math.” Bokuto’s shoulders had tightened to the point that they were raised nearly to his chin. “I’ll never understand it and I should just give up.” 

“Bokuto, maybe you should try doing something else,” Akaashi suggested, his mind working quickly through the best way to bring Bokuto’s spirits back up. “Or we can take a break.”

“It doesn’t matter if I take a break, I’ll still be stupid when I try again.”

Akaashi pursed his lips, thinking for a little before he spoke again.

“Bokuto, you’re not stupid. But you are too stressed out and you need to relax.”

“I don’t have time to relax.” 

“You’re not going to get anything done like this.” 

“Like what?”

“You’re agitated,” Akaashi explained. “And you’re not going to concentrate well. We should take a break.” 

“I don’t want to,” Bokuto grumbled, crossing his arms. “You don’t understand.” 

Akaashi narrowed his eyes, looking at Bokuto with something just short of a glare that made Bokuto’s grumpy demeanor drop, a look of almost fear replacing it. 

“When’s your next day off? Do you have off for Thanksgiving?” Akaashi asked, looking at his computer so he could open his calendar.

“Umm, yeah, there’s no class for the whole week.” Bokuto looked at Akaashi uncertainly. “I have to write a piece about football for Thanksgiving, but that’s almost done. During the holiday, there aren’t any goals to hit for data entry, so I can take a day or two off without worrying too much. And the building I clean is closed on…” Bokuto thought for a moment. “The 22nd and 23rd.” 

“Okay, the 22nd is Thanksgiving so that’s off the table.” Akaashi looked at the 23rd for a long time. He wasn’t planning to go home this Thanksgiving, so he was free. “If Suga and Daichi can take care of the boys, we’re going out on the 23rd.” 

“Huh?”

“You’re taking the whole day off,” Akaashi commanded. “You’re working hard and it’s admirable, but you need a day off. Also, don’t worry about studying for the GED right now. Your midterms are more important and they’re next week. You can start studying for the GED during winter break when you’ll have more time. I’ll have more time too since winter isn’t really a big time for buying bouquets. I’ll help you study.” 

“Akaashi…” Bokuto was suddenly sheepish as he looked at the table. “You don’t have to do that.” 

“No, but I want to.” Akaashi crossed his arms. “I passed the GED, so I can help you. You’re going to burn out if you don’t take a break and then what’ll you do?”

Still looking sheepish, Bokuto looked up at Akaashi. 

“Sorry…” He threaded his fingers together, his lips pursing into an almost pout, though this one was more self-conscious than his earlier pout. “And thank you.”

“It’s fine,” Akaashi said, giving Bokuto a small, fond smile. “Remember how we talked about slowing down?” Bokuto nodded. “You need to slow down and, the thing is, you can. It doesn’t always feel like it, but you’re allowed to.” 

“Thanks,” Bokuto repeated, a sudden redness in his face that Akaashi didn’t understand. “For everything.” 

Akaashi just nodded, the two of them looking at each other silently for a few more moments before, with red faces, they both looked back at their work. 

≒☼≓

Akaashi didn’t want to admit that he was really nervous about this day out. He pulled nervously at the sleeve of his plaid button-up while he waited for Bokuto. Suga and Oikawa had, of course, insisted on okaying any outfit Akaashi wore despite his argument again the help. There wasn't much he could do, though, since Suga and Daichi were taking care of the boys for Akaashi and Bokuto. 

They’d insisted that Akaashi wear a plaid button-down over a tight black t-shirt. While they did understand that he still felt uncomfortable wearing tight shirts, they’d convinced him by letting him pick a particularly unfitted shirt to go over it. 

He’d also overturned their suggestion of borrowing a pair of Oikawa’s pants because Akaashi wasn’t about to wear something as tight as their suggestion. Instead, he went with a simple pair of black chinos that weren’t too tight or too loose. His friends had been disappointed, but Akaashi made sure to point out that the black t-shirt was already more or less out of his comfort zone. He also reminded them that most of his clothes had, at some point, been chosen or okayed by Suga and Oikawa. 

In the end, he was glad that Suga and Oikawa had decided to teach him how to dress properly, even if it had been a lot back when they started. They’d helped him through a lot of difficulties—not just in relation to clothes—and for that, he was so, so glad. 

Akaashi had already dropped Kei and Akiteru off at Suga and Daichi’s, but Bokuto had to run a few quick errands first, so he was going to drop Shouyou off and then meet Akaashi for breakfast. Bokuto was only a minute late, but Akaashi had already been anxious so now he was starting to worry unnecessarily. He knew he was being irrational, but that didn’t stop his anxiety from climbing with each second that passed. 

“Hey!” Akaashi turned to see Bokuto jogging towards him. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Akaashi said, doing his best not to look like he was checking out Bokuto. “You’re basically here on time.” 

Bokuto was wearing a pair of old slacks and a slightly ill-fitting button-up shirt. Despite the overall lack of sleekness to the outfit, Akaashi could tell that Bokuto had been trying to look nice and, if Akaashi was honest, he thought Bokuto looked good in just about anything he wore. 

“Still.” Bokuto smiled as he caught his breath. “So, this is the place?”

Akaashi nodded, “They have good breakfast, I think.” 

“Not that you would know,” Bokuto joked, earning him a petulant glare from Akaashi. “But, I’ve heard of this place. People do say it’s good. I haven’t been able to go here yet, so I’m excited.” 

“I’m glad.”

The inside of the restaurant was small and there were a lot of people waiting, but Akaashi had planned ahead.

“Akaashi, table for two,” he said to the hostess, who smiled widely at him and gestured for them to follow her. “Thank you.”

Once they were seated, Bokuto looked at the menu with an enthusiasm that only Bokuto could put into something as simple as looking at a menu. After almost ten minutes—and Akaashi sending the waitress away twice—Bokuto finally decided he was ready to order. He decided on a waffle with strawberries, a side of bacon, and a hot chocolate. Akaashi got a vegetable omelet and black coffee. Once their food arrived, Akaashi had finally started to calm down a little as he remembered that no matter what, this wasn’t that different from what they did at least once a week. 

“You celebrated Thanksgiving with Kuroo and Kenma, right?” Akaashi asked, take a sip of his coffee. 

“Yeah, we all went to Kenma’s parent’s house this year so it was quieter than last year.”

“Last year?” Akaashi asked with a raised eyebrow. “What happened last year?”

“Oh, well, we went to Kuroo’s place. Have I ever told you about Kuroo’s family?” Akaashi shook his head. “Oh, well, Kuroo is the youngest of five.”

“Five?” Akaashi raised his eyebrows as high as they went. 

“Yep, four older sisters. Aiko is the oldest and she has three kids of her own, all girls. Rena and Rina are twins and Rena has a son. Rina is married but they don’t want kids. The youngest girl, Megumi, is a year older than Kuroo and she just had a baby like a month before last Thanksgiving. Last year they all went to Kuroo’s parent’s place and of course, there was Kenma. Also, his parents go to the Kuroo’s place whenever Kuroo and Kenma go there since Kenma is an only child. Then there was also me a Shouyou.” 

Akaashi did a quick count on his fingers, “That’s 21 people?”

“Oh, I didn’t even mention the extended family that came.”

Akaashi shook his head, “I can’t even imagine.” 

“It’s a lot, but it’s nice. Though, I guess I’m used to it.” Bokuto smiled at his plate. “The first Thanksgiving when it was just me and Shouyou was really hard since my family always loved Thanksgiving. But Kuroo’s family was so welcoming like always and they gave me good advice about having a baby. Kenma’s parents were really helpful too. They had a lot of baby stuff still left over from when Kenma was a baby and they gave it to me. And Kuroo’s family all had hand-me-down stuff to give me.”

“Wow,” Akaashi commented. “I think the most people my family has ever hosted is, like, ten.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, back in my first or second year of high school.” Akaashi thought for a moment. “My family and my uncle’s family, yeah. That’s like eight people.” 

“Wait, your uncle? You… you’ve never mentioned him.” Bokuto looked suddenly worried, “Is he… Is he okay?”

“Oh.” Akaashi realized the mistake he’d made. This was supposed to be a stress-free day for Bokuto and here he was talking about estranged family. “My uncle’s not dead or anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I mean, I was kind of worried about that. Then what? Did they move or something?”

“Not exactly…” 

Akaashi didn’t mind telling Bokuto personal things anymore, not really, but he didn’t want to upset Bokuto. That was the opposite of what this day was supposed to be about. 

And maybe he was genuinely bad at talking about himself.

“We just don’t talk to them anymore.”

“Really?” Bokuto asked, obviously having a hard time not pressing for more information. 

After a moment of silence where Bokuto obviously was trying to figure out what to say that wouldn’t sound like him trying to get Akaashi to say more, Akaashi sighed and gave up. 

“In my sophomore year of high school—that was when I came out—my aunt and uncle weren’t all that… they didn’t exactly agree with me that, well, that trans people exist at all. So my parents decided they weren’t welcome anymore.” 

“I’m glad your parents were on your side,” Bokuto said, frowning. “Fuck your aunt and uncle, though.”

Akaashi chuckled, “Thanks for that.”

“Really, I mean it.” Bokuto pouted his lips. “They sound like they suck.”

“Until then, I never would have expected it. After, you start to see all the things you never noticed.” 

“I get that,” Bokuto nodded. “I’ve told you that my family was shitty about me wanting to raise Shouyou but… that wasn’t the first thing, just the last. Most of them were pretty shitty when I came out as bi. I’m pretty sure the most supportive comment I got from my family was ‘why can’t you just choose one?’ so that shows how awesome they were.” 

Akaashi grimaced, “I hate people like that.”

“Yeah, they suck.” Bokuto looked down at his half-eaten breakfast and then at Akaashi’s clean plate. “You eat really fast.” 

“I’ve been told that,” Akaashi shrugged. “I don’t usually notice. Don’t worry about me, I’m used to finishing first.”

“It’s not good for you to eat so fast,” Bokuto pointed out, taking a few more bites of his own meal while Akaashi flagged down their waitress so he could order another coffee. “It’s bad for digestion, I think.”

“I know,” Akaashi agreed, knowing it was just one of his many issues that he didn’t have a good explanation for. This one was definitely related to not wanting to spend too much time in the cafeteria at school, but he wasn’t sure if that was the only reason. “But I don’t… I don’t notice.”

“Okay, I’ll help you then,” Bokuto told Akaashi assuredly, smiling at him. “I’ll tell you if you’re eating fast.”

“Really?” Akaashi blinked at Bokuto, not expecting him to care enough to do that. For a moment he fought with the impulse to try and hide his problem more thoroughly, but the lack of judgment on Bokuto’s face put Akaashi at ease. “If you don’t mind, you’re more than welcome.” 

“Of course I don’t mind!” Bokuto's smile widened. “That's what friends do! Just like how you told me I was getting too stressed even though I didn't notice. I never notice until after, usually.” Bokuto's smiled faded a little. “It isn't like I'm trying to get all stressed and agitated, but I never notice until it's too late.”

“I understand,” Akaashi said, nodding. “I guess I'm the opposite. I notice, but it's still really hard to correct myself. I've been told I get into my own head a lot.”

Bokuto thought for a moment, taking a few more bites of his food.

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“Ugh, it's that obvious?” Akaashi asked, knowing it was but hating to hear that out loud.

“It’s not that obvious, but we spend a lot of time together,” Bokuto pointed out. “I’m not sure I’ve really seen you overthink things often, but it makes sense.”

“I guess so,” Akaashi agrees. “It’s a product of my anxiety, so I guess it’s in character for me.” 

Bokuto nodded, clamming up in a way that Akaashi had learned meant he wasn’t sure what would offend him and so he chose to say nothing. Based on stories from Bokuto and also from Kuroo and Kenma, it sounded like Bokuto hadn’t always been like that, but had learned over time that he wasn’t a very delicate person. When he liked someone, instead of speaking up, he would often say nothing out of a fear that he would inevitably say the wrong thing. 

“Well, when we’re done here, I thought we should take advantage of the nice weather,” Akaashi said. “I have a full day of things planned, but if you want to say no to any of them, that’s okay.” 

“I trust you,” Bokuto insisted, “What do you have planned?” 

“Well, first I thought we could take a walk around the park since the weather is pretty nice today. Then we can get lunch, if we’re hungry, and maybe some ice cream. I know it’s November, but there’s a good ice cream place near here according to Suga and it doesn’t close until December. Then, I was thinking we could go to the ice rink and try some ice skating. There are a few other options we have after that if we still have more time, but by then, it’ll probably be time for dinner. After dinner, I have one last idea, but that’s a surprise.” 

“That all sounds like fun!” Bokuto exclaimed. “Ugh, but why’d you tell me there’s a surprise? I’m going to be thinking about it all day.” 

“Bokuto, you’re impossible,” Akaashi said, a smile creeping on his face, “But I’m not going to tell you what it is. At least not yet.” 

“Please, Akaashi!” Bokuto begged, attempting to use his puppy dog eyes on Akaashi. 

They were more effective now than they had been the first time Akaashi saw them, but they still didn’t work. 

“Nope, it’s a surprise.” 

Bokuto groaned and pouted, his eyes flickering down to his food then back up to Akaashi. He looked like he was going to try to make Akaashi feel bad, but then something changed on his face and he smiled, a strange dusting of red appearing on his cheeks. 

“Okay,” he caved, going back to his food and leaving Akaashi to wonder what had just happened. 

≒☼≓

The day was warm, but still had the obvious chill that late November always had. The wind was strong enough to make Akaashi wish he’d worn a jacket. He remembered gloves, but he’d thought the warm button up would have been enough. 

Akaashi quite liked the weather in this area, especially in fall. Summers could be a little hot and way too humid for him, but part of that awareness of the temperature came from the fact that he had to go outside a lot. Summer was a big time for flowers and there was nothing he hated more than delivering flowers in the middle of a humid July day.

Autumn was Akaashi’s favorite season, though. Even though he’d been born in December, it was early enough that he liked to think of himself as a fall baby, even if winter fit his personality better. It wasn’t that he subscribed to any sort of nonsense like that, but he often saw parallels in his friends and family. Bokuto and Shouyou were great examples. Summer fit them both really well since they both burned bright. 

Today, though, was nothing like Summer and it wasn’t winter either. It was that perfect fall day that couldn’t be matched by any season. Even with the chilly wind, Akaashi loved it and found he didn’t mind the way his nose was starting to get cold. Bokuto seemed unaffected by the cold, but when Akaashi looked at his face he found Bokuto had rosy cheeks that showed how cold he actually was. 

“Do you want to go inside?” Akaashi asked as they walked slowly through the park, side-by-side and maybe a little closer than was strictly friendly. Akaashi chalked that up to the coldness of the day making them both search for a little extra warmth. “You look cold.” 

“I’m fine,” Bokuto said with a smile. “I don’t mind being a little cold. It’s really nice out.”

“Watch out!” Someone shouted from a field to their left. 

Before they could react, a frisbee hit Bokuto in the arm and landed harmlessly next to him. Bokuto reached down to pick it up, looking around for who’s frisbee it was when a dog came barreling towards him, jumping up onto Bokuto before he or Akaashi could process the situation.  

“Woah!” Bokuto shouted, nearly toppling over as the big husky tried to grab the frisbee from him. “Is this yours?” 

“Sorry!” A woman shouted, coming to a stop near Akaashi and Bokuto as the dog took the frisbee and turned, seeming surprised to see the woman so close. 

“It’s okay,” Bokuto said as the woman caught her breath. “Are you alright?”

“I’m good,” she said between breaths. “We’re still teaching her not to jump up, I’m sorry.” 

Bokuto smiled at the woman, “That’s okay, I love dogs. What’s her name?” 

“Mally,” the woman said. “And I’m Alison.”

“Can I pet her?” Bokuto asked, looking hopeful enough to make Alison laugh.

“Of course.” She looked at her dog, “Mally, heel.” 

The dog looked at her owner for a long time and then, finally, sat. Bokuto basically collapsed to the ground in front of the dog, petting her softly while Akaashi watched, trying to dampen down the way the scene made his heart skip a beat. Even after all the times Akaashi had watched Bokuto interact softly with Shouyou, it was still always interesting to watch him interact with other things that were smaller than him. And with Bokuto, most living things were smaller than him. 

“I’m Akaashi,” Akaashi smiled at Bokuto for a moment before looking up at Alison. “And he’s Bokuto.” 

“Nice to meet you both.”

Akaashi and Alison chatted a little as Bokuto pet Mally, occasionally adding something to the conversation. After a few minutes, he stood, a huge smile still on his face. 

“Thanks!” Bokuto said a little too loudly. “It was nice to meet you two.” 

Bokuto waved to Alison and Mally as they walked away before turning to smile at Akaashi. 

“You like dogs?” Akaashi asked unnecessarily. 

“Yep! They’re great.” 

Akaashi chuckled to himself, pointing to a nearby bench. 

“Why don’t we sit down? There are a lot of dogs out today. We can watch them.” 

“Great idea!” 

Sitting next to each other, Akaashi realized suddenly how much smaller this bench was than he originally thought. He tried to ignore the way his and Bokuto’s knees would knock together whenever Bokuto gestured wildly. He was telling stories about his childhood dog—a mutt named Mustard—and just like his stories about high school and college, a much younger Bokuto had gotten into a lot of crazy situations with his dog.

“My cousin Mei and I would run around the city together getting into as much trouble as two kids and a dog could without literally getting arrested.” Bokuto looked down at his hands, still smiling but seeming a little sad. “I miss them both. Mustard died when I was in middle school, but I still spent a lot of time playing with Mei since we were the same age. But, well, I haven’t talked to any of my family in a while.” 

Bokuto seemed to suddenly collapse in on himself, his shoulders pulled tight and his legs and arms pulled towards his body. Akaashi watched as he made himself smaller and smaller until finally, Akaashi refused to watch him do that anymore. 

“Bokuto, hey, it’s okay.” Akaashi reached out and touched Bokuto’s arm lightly. “You can talk about it if you want.” 

“I usually try not to think about it,” Bokuto admitted. “It’s easier to not think about it.” 

“It is,” Akaashi agreed, “but it’s not really good for you.”

“I’ve already told you how I miss them,” Bokuto explained. “There’s just… nothing I can do about it so I don’t want to think about missing them.”

“If you ever want to go back to them, we’ll be here for you,” Akaashi told him, repeating what he’d said last time they talked about this. “But even if you don’t want to, don’t forget that it hasn’t been that long. If you don’t talk to them again, you’ll still miss them, but four years isn’t that long. It’ll get easier with time.”

Bokuto nodded silently, still looking at his hands like they were the only thing keeping him anchored. Impulsivity took over and Akaashi pulled Bokuto into a hug that was rendered a bit awkward and uncomfortable thanks to them sitting on a bench. Bokuto didn’t seem to mind, though, seeing as he returned the hug with a tight grip of his own. Akaashi hadn’t noticed it until now, but Bokuto was shaking a little and Akaashi felt suddenly bad. He was really terrible at planning fun days out. 

“Thanks,” Bokuto finally said. “Sorry for being sad.”

“It’s okay,” Akaashi said softly, smiling despite himself. “You’re allowed to be.”

Bokuto held Akaashi for a few more moments in silence before letting go and smiling at Akaashi with a small but genuine smile which Akaashi easily returned, hoping Bokuto couldn’t see the way Akaashi’s heart was melting. 

After a few more moments of silence, Akaashi spoke up.

“Why don’t we go get lunch?” 

≒☼≓

Akaashi could tell that Bokuto wasn’t back to a hundred percent, but he could also tell Bokuto wanted to try and pretend. Akaashi could appreciate that kind of facade and so he allowed it as they both ordered sandwiches. Bokuto ordered a complicated sandwich with more than a few words in the description which Akaashi had never heard before. Akaashi simply ordered a BLT, leaving Bokuto with a scandalized look as the waiter watched heasitantly. 

“Come on, Akaashi, there are so many good things to try!” 

“I’m fine, Bokuto,” Akaashi replied, nodding to the waiter and waiting to continue once he left. “Food isn’t that interesting to me.” 

“I know you said that eating food made by special people makes food special, but what about eating food with special people?” Bokuto asked. “Isn’t that why Thanksgiving is fun even if you, like, bought the dinner.”

“Well, I’ve never experienced what you just described.” Akaashi thought for a few moments before continuing. “But I guess I understand what you mean. But, for me, the food isn’t important. It’s the time spent together. We could be locked in a walk-in freezer and I’d still probably enjoy myself.” 

“Really?”

“Here’s the thing,” Akaashi said, speaking before he could really think thoroughly about what he was saying. “I’m not a particularly… tactile person. When I was younger I was… touch averse. I’ve gotten over that, I guess, fear, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t still affect me. I’m not very good at physical displays of affection which has caused me problems in the past. But, maybe to compensate, my emotional connections tend to be strong no matter what. I’m basically built for long-distance relationships. That bleeds into everything. Food doesn’t mean much to me, but the emotional connection to food does. Not all food has an emotional connection and usually when it does, the food can be taken away or changed and the connection will remain because it’s about the person, not the food.” 

Akaashi paused, realizing that even though he wasn’t very tactile, he did tend to be a little more physically affectionate with Bokuto in a way that was uncharacteristic of him. He wondered if that was a bad thing for him to do given his crush and he wondered if Bokuto had noticed and was now wondering what Akaashi meant about not being a tactile person. 

Akaashi didn’t speak for a few moments, instead bitting his lip before speaking quietly, “sorry, I’m not sure that made much sense.” 

“I’m not sure I completely understood, but at the same time I think I do understand enough.” Bokuto smiled widely. “Everyone’s different, I guess, and sometimes it’s easy to forget that.” 

Before Akaaashi could think of something to say in response, their sandwiches arrived and the conversation moved on from there. 

As they finished their lunch, Akaashi realized that he was looking at Bokuto with what was probably plain affection. He jerked his body into a stiff position before flagging down their waitress so he could get the bill.

“Do you want to get some ice cream?” Akaashi asked, looking at the bill intently as he pretended to check the prices. Really, he was hoping to hide the slight dusting of red that was surely attached to his cheeks now. 

“Of course!” Bokuto exclaimed with a smile big enough for Akaashi to see even though it was firmly in his periphery. “I love ice cream.” 

≒☼≓

There weren’t many people waiting in line for ice cream, the air too cool for most people to think about ice cream. That said, the shop wasn’t completely abandoned, with a few other groups scattered inside at tables. 

One was a group of high schoolers obviously on vacation, laughing and talking a little too loudly to be polite, but not so loudly that Akaashi found them annoying. 

At another table was a family of four, with two tired looking parents sitting quietly while one of their children talked animatedly about something, his eyes bright. The mother smiled at something the boy said, still looking tired, but nonetheless happy. 

Last were two college students who looked like they were on their first date. There was a sweet air of awkwardness about them while they both tried to impress the other. One was bouncing his knee instantly and the other kept tearing small pieces off of the napkin in their hands. The boy said something and then his date’s face lit up, the room filled suddenly with their ringing laughter. 

It was a nice little ice cream shop and while Akaashi waited for Bokuto to decide on a flavor, he walked over to claim one of the empty tables, put his bag on a chair before turning to look at Bokuto for a moment. 

He was looking at the ice cream flavors while a young worker hovered nearby, waiting for Bokuto to request something. Bokuto asked a question about a flavor and the young man answered easily. Finally, Bokuto nodded to himself and stood up straighter, placing his order while Akaashi walked up behind him. 

“And I’ll have a cup of mint chocolate chip,” Akaashi chimed in. “Both for here.” 

“Alright,” the young man responded—his nametag read Saito—as he got both ready, handing them over to Bokuto as Akaashi stepped towards the register. “That’ll be seven twenty-seven.” 

“Here you are,” Akaashi said, handing over the money, then leading Bokuto towards their seats. “What did you get?”

“Chocolate raspberry,” Bokuto responded, handing over Akaashi’s ice cream. “You know, you don’t have to pay for everything today.” 

Akaashi tilted his head to the side, “I’m the one who asked you out today, though.” 

After a moment of silence, they both turned red as Akaashi realized how that sounded. Quickly he tried to backtrack, feeling like he might be better off just saying nothing. 

“That’s not what I meant! I just meant I forced you to come out today so it makes sense that I would pay.” 

Bokuto laughed a little too loudly, earning him a curious look from the father of the family near them. It wasn’t even an annoyed looked, simply curious, as if he’d been eavesdropping on their conversation and was as confused by Bokuto’s unnatural laugh as Akaashi was. 

“It’s fine! Don’t worry about it!” Bokuto responded, even though it barely made sense to Akaashi. After a moment of silence between them, Bokuto looked down at his as yet uneaten ice cream and announced, “This ice cream is really tasty.” 

Akaashi wanted to put his head in his lap and die right there. 

≒☼≓

In the end, ice cream had turned out not to be too awkward. After a few false starts, they’d been able to move past Akaashi’s awkward comment. By the time they left to head to the ice rink, things were back to normal even if Akaashi was still thinking about how stupid he had been. 

Now, at the ice rink, his mind had thankfully been pulled away from those thoughts. Instead, he had started to wonder why in the world he’d thought ice skating was a good idea given he’d never actually been ice skating before. In his mind, he’d rationalized that it couldn’t be that hard since children did it, but now that they were looking at the ice rink, Akaashi suddenly realized that ice was very slippery and he wasn’t sure his volleyball-improved coordination would survive on a surface of that type.

A memory surfaced of the idea for ice skating being planted by Suga and Oikawa and he realized that this had probably been some dumb plan on their part to make him and Bokuto do something cheesy and romantic. He couldn’t decide if him making a fool of himself was also part of their plan, but he wasn’t sure whether he hoped so or not, so he tried to pretend he hadn’t had that thought. 

“Man, it’s been a long time since I’ve been ice skating,” Bokuto commented, smiling widely at Akaashi as they waited to rent ice skates. “Mei and I used to go sometimes with my big brother.” 

“Really?” Akaashi asked, surprised to hear Bokuto talking about his family again without a hint of the sadness that usually came along with them. 

“Yeah. Ryuuta always used to take us places that we were too young to go alone. He’s four years older than me, but everyone thought he was really responsible. I’m sure he hated luging us around the city, but our parents made him, probably to keep me and Mei out of trouble at least some of the time. Mei’s big sister, Rina, would sometimes take us places, but she was only a year older than me, so it wasn’t like she was that much more responsible.” 

“You had a lot of freedom as a kid, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Bokuto laughed to himself. “Most kids living in the city do. It’s not that same out in the country?”

“I didn’t live in the country,” Akaashi said with an eye-roll. “But, no, we didn’t have that much freedom. I mean, we had a lot of freedom, but it had boundaries that were pretty much the street I grew up on. It wasn’t until I started volleyball that I started walking to and from school alone. Before that, my parents drove me. In high school, I had more freedom, but I didn’t really… I didn’t have anywhere to go except home and school.” Akaashi shrugged, falling silent as they paid for their skates and requested the correct size, only continuing when they were walking away with a pair of battered skates each. “My only friends were on the volleyball team. After practice, we were all usually too tired and busy to do anything other than go home.”

“I guess you probably studied a lot,” Bokuto mused, putting his skates on with hands that were a little too practiced for Akaashi’s liking. He glanced up to see Akaashi struggling with his own skates and added, “Do you need some help?”

“I’m good,” Akaashi said even though he was pretty sure he was tying the skates incorrectly. “I thought you said it’s been ages since you went ice skating?” 

“I mean, it has been. I think the last time I went was in high school.” Bokuto looked thoughtful for a moment. “But, especially in middle school, Mei and I used to go a lot. There was the really cheap rink near us and I guess even though I had volleyball, having a different sport-type-thing was a good way for me to clear my mind.” Bokuto laughed to himself. “Honestly it was pretty stupid to go ice skating so much. It’s a miracle I never injured myself badly on the ice.” 

“If I’d known you were good at ice skating, I would have picked something else,” Akaashi grumbled, making another attempt at tying the skates tight enough for his ankles to feel supported. “So Mei is the same age as you?”

“One year younger, so pretty much. Like I said before, my family is pretty big, so just about everyone had some cousin or sibling close to their age to play with. Mei was from my mom’s side of the family, which is smaller than my dad’s side. My oldest cousins are six years older than me and the youngest in the family is my brother Hayato, who’s two years younger than me.” Bokuto bit his lip, looking down at the ground. “A lot of them have kids now and I just… I wish Shouyou could have the same childhood as me. I know Wakana and Ren both have kids around Shouyou’s age. And my brother has four-year-old twins…” Suddenly Bokuto looked up at Akaashi with hard eyes. “When I left, was I being selfish?”

“What?” 

“When I left my family, was I being selfish?” Bokuto clenched his fists. “They really weren’t that rude to me. I don’t think they’d hate Shouyou or anything, just be disappointed in me. Sure they don’t like that I’m bi and they don’t like that I decided to keep Shouyou, but… but… Would it have been easier… Would Shouyou have a better life if I hadn’t cut them out?”

“Bokuto…” Akaashi left his ice skates partially untied, reaching out a hand to touch Bokuto softly on the shoulder. “You did what was right for you. If you’d been dealing with the emotional difficulties of that environment, it wouldn’t have been good for Shouyou’s mental health either. Things might have been easier, but it’s not like you or Shouyou are alone. You go to Kuroo and Kenma’s families’ holiday parties. Shouyou plays with Kei all the time. Shouyou is such a happy, sweet kid, and I can’t say whether staying would have changed that, but the way things are now are not too bad.” 

“I’d have so much more support. I’d be able to give Shouyou all the things he needs.”

“Would you have had support?” Akaashi asked. “You don’t know that. Your family… they might have stepped up and decided a child was more important than some stupid ideas they had about what you should or shouldn’t be. Maybe they would have helped immeasurably. Maybe, maybe, maybe.” Akaashi shook his head. “We all love to ask these what if questions, but they’re not worth the pain. What if I’d been born with the body that fit who I was? What if I’m lying to myself? What if I’d never told Airi I was trans? What if I’d come out sooner?” Akaashi looked at Bokuto with soft eyes. “What if Yamato never got sick? What if my mom hadn’t hurt her back? What if Yamato and Keiko hadn’t found this treatment?” Akaashi sighed, pulling his hand back, feeling like he’d been touching Bokuto for too long. “You can drive yourself crazy that way, Bokuto. You just need to remember the ‘what ifs’ go both ways. What if we’d never met?” 

“Sorry,” Bokuto said. “And thanks.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Akaashi looked hopelessly at his skates. “Okay. Can you help me with these?” 

Bokuto smiled genuinely at that and Akaashi smiled back as Bokuto indicated Akaashi could put his skate up on the bench so he could tie it. 

For what had to be the hundredth time, Akaashi felt his stomach turn in that horribly wonderful way it always did when Bokuto smiled at him and Akaashi wondered how much longer he’d be able to pretend he didn’t have this crush.

He hoped it would last at least the rest of the day.

≒☼≓

For dinner, Akaashi had decided on a casual restaurant so that Bokuto wouldn’t end up feeling underdressed. It was also a good choice because when Akaashi asked for some ice and a plastic bag, they were really accommodating. 

Ice skating had gone about as well as he expected. In about two hours, he’d fallen at least 15 times, probably more, and had hit his knee pretty hard during one of the falls, which was the reason he needed ice. He was pretty sure there was an irony to be found in the fact that his injury was caused by ice and was now being treated with ice, but he was too preoccupied with how much of a fool he’d make of himself to put the pieces together. 

Bokuto had spent about half the time laughing at Akaashi and half the time trying to actually help him skate. 

“How are you feeling?” Bokuto asked after they ordered and Akaashi had received his requested ice. “I hope you didn’t get too hurt.”

“I don’t think it’s that bad, but my knee is definitely going to bruise.” 

“Have you ever been ice skating before?” Bokuto asked even though Akaashi was pretty sure he’d already informed him that, no, he’d never gone before.

Still, he answered Bokuto’s question. 

“No, never. When I was younger I was extremely uncoordinated, so it was never a great idea.”

“Really?” Bokuto looked caught between genuine interest and laughter over Akaashi’s admittance. “I thought you were a cheerleader.” 

“I was,” Akaashi came to the sudden realization that at some point he’d probably cave and show Bokuto the pictures and videos from then that he hated. “And I was really bad at it. It wasn’t until I started playing volleyball that I learned a little bit about how to have any coordination. But ice skating… that’s totally different from a volleyball court.”

Bokuto seemed to be holding back laughter, curling his lips in to stop himself. It was not a very good way to hide laugher since it was obvious he was trying not to laugh, but Akaashi thought he could appreciate the attempt. 

“Go ahead, laugh, it’s fine,” he said, sighing. “Maybe one of these days I’ll let you see the videos even though they’re really embarrassing.”

“They can’t be that bad,” Bokuto said, an amused smile stuck on his face. “I mean, you were young, most people aren’t that coordinated. I’m pretty sure when I was younger, I wasn’t that coordinated either. When I was in middle school, I’m pretty sure I ran into the volleyball net more times that most people would consider normal.” 

“Sure, but I don’t think I ever had a cheerleading performance or practice where I didn’t fall over, run into someone, or generally make a fool of myself. They used to put me in the back for two reasons: I was tall and I was less likely to run into someone back there. And, I guess, if we were on a stage, there was a concern I might trip off the stage.” Thinking about it, Akaashi was surprised that never happened. “I got a lot of bloody noses back then from running into people and walls and, well, the floor. Even outside of cheerleading, I constantly had bruises from running into things and had no spacial awareness at all. Doorframes, tables, everything. I’d run into them and get bruises all up my shins and on my arms. I was such a mess back then.” 

Bokuto laughed then, looking for a moment like he was remembering something before continuing to laugh. 

“I’m pretty sure most kids have lots of bruises. At least, I did too. I loved climbing. I’d climb on the playground and on rocks and up trees… I would climb anything. And I loved to jump down from high places, but I didn’t always have good judgment. That’s how I broke my arm when I was seven.” 

“You broke your arm when you were seven?” Akaashi asked, raising an eyebrow. “How?”

“I jumped out of a tree but it was higher than I thought and I put my arm out to catch my fall and… well, I broke it. It wasn’t too bad, luckily, and didn’t have any long-term effects, but it did hurt a lot.” Bokuto chuckled at the memory. “Are you telling me you’ve never broken a bone?”

“Never,” Akaashi said. “Just minor injuries. One of the times I tripped and fell the nurse thought I’d broken my nose, but it ended up being okay. It just hurt and I ended up with a big bruise. It was right before picture day, too, so I have a big bruise on my nose in that picture.” 

Bokuto laughed again, this time not trying to hide it, “I so want to see that.”

“Why do you insist on seeing embarrassing pictures of me?” Akaashi asked, rolling his eyes as their food arrived. “You’re as bad as Oikawa and Suga.” 

Bokuto took a few small bites of his food, looking suddenly very thoughtful. Just as Akaashi was going to ask if something was wrong, Bokuto spoke up. 

“You know, if you don’t want to show me them, you don’t have to. I wasn’t trying to push you if you’re uncomfortable.” 

“Huh?” Akaashi tilted his head, blinking at Bokuto. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, ‘cause back then… You were… And now…” Bokuto was struggling with what he wanted to say and finally, he seemed to give up, sighing and looking at Akaashi. “I mean, like, if you don’t want to look at old pictures.” 

“Oh,” Akaashi felt like an idiot for not realizing what he meant. Mostly, he felt bad because he hadn’t thought that Bokuto would have been able to come to the conclusion on his own. “I see. That’s very thoughtful of you, but those pictures… It’s hard to explain, but pictures from when I was young don’t bother me as much. It’s really only high school that I don’t like to be reminded of how I looked…” Akaashi paused, feeling so much like a bad trans person for not feeling how he thought he was supposed to feel. He did his best to push that thought away, though. “In college, I definitely hated looking at any pictures from before my transition, but I’ve sort of made peace with a lot of it. I looked how I looked, but I was still the same me, really. And, maybe part of it is that I was lucky to not look that feminine to begin with. I usually came off as a bit androgynous until Suga and Oikawa helped me to find a more masculine style that I liked, so it’s not as striking, I think. It’s pretty much just a younger me with long hair, at least for 5th and 6th grade. High school was a little different, so I’m still a little uncomfortable looking at those pictures, but…” Akaashi shrugged, feeling like he was talking too much. “My point is, if I didn’t want to show you the pictures, then I wouldn’t.” 

“If you're sure.”

For an instant, Akaashi felt his muscles try to reach out and cover Bokuto’s hand with his. He was barely able to restrain the impulse, wondering why his subconscious had suddenly begun an assault on his ability to act like a normal friend. 

“I’m sure,” he said after what might have been a slightly too long pause. “Now, how’s your dinner?”

≒☼≓

Night had fully fallen when they finally got to the top of the hill overlooking the city. They were by no means alone—it was a beautiful night—but the quietness of the area still made it feel that way. 

With darkness pressing in around them, Akaashi gripped Bokuto’s arm lightly and led Bokuto to the edge so they could look at the city, lit up in all its nighttime glory. 

“It’s beautiful,” Bokuto said. “I can’t believe I’ve never been up here before.” 

They both stared silently for a while before Akaashi realized he was still gripping Bokuto’s arm. Before moving to let go, Akaashi turned Bokuto away from the city and towards a patch of grass where couples were lying to look at the stars. 

Akaashi was distinctly aware that everyone else here seemed to be in romantic relationships, but he tried to ignore that. He was just trying to give Bokuto a good day. A relaxing day.

“Sit down,” Akaashi commanded, “there’s less light pollution up here so you can see the stars really well.” 

Bokuto sat down, dragging Akaashi to the ground with him. He quickly flopped backward onto the grass, seemingly untroubled as he stared up at the night sky. 

The moon was only a sliver, only a few days from the new moon, and so the stars were shining bright and clear. Once Akaashi found a comfortable position to lay in, he pointed up at the sky. 

“That constellation is Triangulum. And there’s Pisces.” Akaashi let his arm fall to his side. “I remembered you said you grew up in the city, so I thought you might not see a lot of stars.” 

“I’ve never seen this many stars in my life,” Bokuto told Akaashi. “They’re so amazing.”

“You should come visit my hometown,” Akaashi smiled in the darkness, wondering how Bokuto would handle that night sky. “It’s a small town so there’s a lot of stars. More than here.” 

“I’d love to see it. Maybe one day we could go there with Shouyou and you could show him the stars.” Bokuto paused and when he continued, his voice had the panicky edge to it that it always did when he was worried he’d said something wrong. “Was that weird? I feel like that might have been weird?”

“No,” Akaashi wanted so badly to reach out a reassuring hand to Bokuto. He wanted to touch his hand or his arm to tell him it was okay but he felt like he’d already made too much physical contact with Bokuto for one day. “You’re okay.” 

“Can you tell me about more constellations?” 

“I don’t know the fall sky that well,” Akaashi admitted. “I know more constellations in the summer.”

“You should show me more next summer.” Bokuto paused then continued. “Things are going to be a lot different in a year, aren’t they?”

“Probably,” Akaashi responded then, thinking about Yamato and Keito, added, “I hope so.”

“If– When your sister and brother-in-law come back can we still hang out?”

Akaashi turned his head to look at Bokuto, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. But Bokuto was staring at the sky and so he couldn’t see this confusion. Without waiting more than a few moments for an answer, Bokuto continued speaking.

“I know once your sister is back, you won’t have Kei anymore but can we still hang out?”

“Bokuto, of course.” Now Bokuto turned towards Akaashi, surprise in his eyes. Akaashi couldn’t tell if it was because of Akaashi’s words or because Akaashi was staring at him. “Why wouldn’t I spend time with you?”

“Because you won’t have any reason to.”

“Bokuto.” Akaashi gave Bokuto a truly perplexed look. “We literally spent the whole day together without the boys.” 

“I guess,” Bokuto responded, pouting a little bit and making Akaashi sigh and sit up. 

“Bokuto, I love spending time with you.” 

Bokuto sat up too and Akaashi found himself reaching out without really thinking about it. He rested his hand lightly against Bokuto’s cheek and even though only a few moments ago he was afraid of touching Bokuto’s arm, this felt right. 

“You’re one of my best friends. In the last year, we’ve gotten to know each other and a lot has changed for both of us.” Akaashi removed his hand, looking almost sheepishly down at his palms. “In the next year, a lot more will change but I also want to get to know you better.”

“Really?” Bokuto asked, his face was barely visible against the darkness but when Akaashi looked up at him, he could see how wide Bokuto eyes were. 

“Really.” Akaashi took a deep breath and did one of the things he rarely did, something that he was doing more often since he met Bokuto—he threw caution to the wind. “Bokuto, I didn’t want to say anything because I thought it would ruin things or make it awkward but… I want to tell you the truth.” 

“The truth? About what?” 

“Well, for a while now, I’ve had feelings for you. Romantic feelings,” Akaashi clarified. “I don’t want this to change anything between us but I thought it was important to be honest.” 

There were a few moments of silence and just when Akaashi thought maybe he’d screwed up, Bokuto finally spoke.

“Really?” He nearly shouted his question.

“Umm, yeah, really.” Akaashi bit his lip. “I guess I’ve known since May, but I didn’t plan on telling you…” Akaashi’s words trailed off when he realized that in the darkness he could just barely see that Bokuto was crying. “Bokuto?” 

“You like me? Like, really?” Akaashi nodded and Bokuto broke into a wide smile. “I never thought you’d like me! You’re so awesome and, like, attractive.” 

“Huh?” Akaashi wasn’t really sure what was happening. 

“I like you too!” Bokuto clarified, rubbing his eyes. “I really didn’t think you’d like me!” 

“Of course I like you,” Akaashi scoffed, reaching out to rub some of the tears away that Bokuto missed. “Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m happy!” 

Akaashi laughed, “Who cries when they’re happy?”

“I do!” Bokuto defended, looking at Akaashi with an almost offended look that was completely lost thanks to the huge smile on his face. 

As Akaashi started to pull his hand away, Bokuto grabbed his hand gently and Akaashi stopped. 

“Can I kiss you?” Bokuto asked hesitantly. “I’d really like to.” 

Akaashi laughed again, leaning over to give Bokuto a soft, chaste kiss. 

“Me too.” 

Bokuto looked surprised for a moment before he smiled again, throwing himself at Akaashi and accidentally tackling him to the ground. Bokuto planted a long kiss onto Akaashi lips before pulling away to grin, making Akaashi laugh loudly. He was sure they were getting dirty looks from the other couples scattered around the grass but for now, Akaashi couldn’t care less what everyone else thought because he found himself to be very, very happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! I can't believe this is finished! I loved writing it so much, so I'm glad people liked it :D 
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone who read, left kudos, commented, and/or shared this! Every little bit means the world to me! 
> 
> Thank you so much, really, and if you're interested in my other works, I have some other bokuaka fics I've written. I have a Tumblr, but tbh I rarely use it anymore, though I check it like every month or so. 
> 
> Thank you again! I hope you all have a lovely day :D

**Author's Note:**

> In case you're wondering about the setting, it's mostly a North-eastern American setting, but I have combined some elements of Japanese culture, mostly because it felt too weird to call them by their first names. Honestly, the only reason I didn't just set it in Japan was because 1. I didn't want to deal with honorifics because they are my nightmare and 2. I know a lot more about schools in America than in Japan, so.....
> 
> \---
> 
> Heya! Thanks for reading! Please leave comments or kudos if you liked it!


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